The Edge of Glory
by aca-avenger
Summary: Santana and Brittany's family has grown and they're still as much in love as when they first met. Life is seemingly perfect. But this new hurdle on the horizon is going to throw every aspect of their life off course. Part II of the Glory trilogy.
1. Prologue

Before you read you guys need to know some background information. This story takes approx. 16 years in the future so our ladies are about 46-47, but you guys WILL get to see numerous _flashbacks _of Lily and the rest of Santana and Brittany's kids growing up. Now for characters, Lily is going to be in twelfth grade, the baby announced at the end of the previous story is Nik who is in the eleventh, and then you have Tommy and Catalina (also known as Lina or Cat) who are in the tenth grade. I thought that I'd switch things up a bit by writing so far ahead in the future but I really hope that it doesn't disappoint any of you. So now that I have that out of the way, this chapter takes place from Santana's point of view and _**Brittany's**_ at the end! Italics are a flashback. I really, really hope you enjoy!

Prologue. Break Me Out  
"Break me out tonight,  
I wanna see the sun rising anywhere but here,  
Come with me."  
- Break Me Out, The Rescues

"Mom, explain why we are doing this again?" My fifteen year old daughter leans over in the middle seat of the SUV so that I can see her face in the rear view mirror. Her piercing blue eyes are staring into my mine, clearly determined. Her light blonde hair is pulled into her infamous braids.

"We're doing this Lina because in two days its Abuelo's 70th birthday and we all agreed that we'd all get together and throw Abuelo a big party." Brittany tries to relay the seriousness of this event in her tone with out scaring her to much. My father's health wasn't exactly what it used to be so I wanted the kids to spend as much time with him as they could so that they'd have fond memories to tell their own children.

"Okay, I get that part Mom. But why in the heck are we leaving for Ohio at eleven o'clock at night?" I could sense the slight restlessness in Lina's voice. I knew how much she hated to sleep in the car, out of all of our children she was the only one who would stay up during road trips to visit family, the rest of them would be out like a light within the first ten minutes. It had been that way since our first road trip to Ohio when the kids were only small.

"We left early because that means we'd get extra time with your Abuelo and Abuela before the place gets to busy. You know what your Mami's family is like." She lets out a small chuckle hopin it will calm her down. Lina may have been biologically Brittany's daughter but she had my temper and it didn't take much to send her off into a Spanish rant like I was oh so famous for.

"Hey! Your family is just as bad!" I playfully slap her before putting both of my hand back on the wheel. "Don't you remember our inaugural family Christmas visit circa 2025? Your father and his brother's nearly ran over Lily to get to the TV because Andre Rieu's Christmas special was on."

"I'm kidding, San. You'd think you'd know that by now." She rolls her eyes at me before turning her attention back to our daughter.

This wasn't the only reason why we had left New York earlier than planned. This week was especially tough. I had lost two of my long term patients and a transfer from New York Presbyterian. I just couldn't stand to stay there watch the sun rise there for one more day knowing that it would be long gone before I even finished breakfast and got to enjoy it. I loved New York weather but I just needed a day with sunshine out in all of it's glory. As soon as we were all packed and after I had a nap so that I wouldn't fall asleep at the wheel we had left.

"Okay, then. Now it makes sense. So where are we staying this time, so I can know what to expect. It's either a somewhat quiet house with my favorite cousin or a more than likely loud and cramped house with Abuela and Abuelo. So what's the verdict?"

Out of the corner of my eye I can see Brittany give me a look before putting her eyes back towards the rear of the car. Brittany was slightly uneasy about the whole thing. As much as she loved my parents and my family she tends to get nervous when they visited or vice versa even though she's known them since we were little. It was something I've adjusted to. I knew that once we got there and the initial greetings were done and over with Brittany would be fine as always. I never understood where her discomfort came from, I could only assume it was out of a slight fear of my father and her high respect for my mother.

I lay my hand on Brittany's atop the console to comfort her before answering Lina. "Well, I asked Aunt Reyna about you and Lily staying there while we were in Ohio but Aunt Ashley already had asked her so her house is full. Sorry, honey. But you'll get to see as much of Emily as possible anyways, Lina."

It was surprising but after Ashley had gotten married she had become extremely close with my family, especially my sister. Whenever they would visit Brittany's parents they could never leave without visiting my family too. It definitely made life interesting to say the least. This weekend's festivities being a mixture of our two families I was sure there was never going to be a dull moment.

Ashley and Jeremy had Emily at the same time that we had Lina, and Tommy, so they had been best friends since they were born. Their son Jesse was a few years younger than Emily and was in the sixth grade. I was glad that Brittany and I had decided to have our children close together considering the 'horror' stories I overheard Emily telling Lina and from Ashley herself.

"Alright then." Lina lets out a sigh of disappointment. I understand her frustration so I give her a sympathetic smile, hoping she can she it in the mirror. There was going to be at least 14 of us staying at my parent's house between our family and my aunts, uncles, and cousins. There was definitely bound to be a lot of noise as she had expected. "Can we play the license plate game? Everyone else back here is asleep." Lina rolls her eyes in disapproval.

The license plate game had been a Lopez family traditional as long as I could remember. We had played it on road trips and while driving to visit my family around the country growing up. I couldn't help but remember one day on a road trip to Ohio a few months before Lina and Tommy had turned two.

* * *

_Brittany and I knew that it would be a long drive with such young children but I had gotten us three weeks off so we thought it would be an interesting way to get there. Even with Brittany's well off background she had only been to three states so I thought this would be a great way for her, not to mention the kids, to see what she had been missing. We would manage to add New Jersey, Maryland, and Pennsylvania to her list of states she's visited. _

_"Okay, Lily. What state is that on the truck in front of us?" I ask Lily who has been focused intently on the license plate game that has saved us from the 'are we there yet?'s for the past two states._

_"That's Kentucky." She replies proudly. She had been talking in full sentences since was almost 32 months old. Brittany and I had been amazed at language skills, especially considering I was never great with words. _

_"You're better at this game than I am, sure." I say enthusiastically as I turn around in the passenger seat to look at Lily. "You hungry, mija?"_

_"No, Mami. I'm tired." I look at her and noticed the tiredness in her eyes. _

_"Well go to sleep then silly goose." Brittany chuckles slightly. _

_"I don't want to. I mean Lina's a baby and she's not asleep so why should I be?" Lily asks stubbornly. _

_"Well, mija, just because Lina's awake doesn't mean that you have to be. She slept all the way from the city to Philidelphia and you didn't." I know Brittany can tell that I am trying to get Lily to go to sleep so that we won't be faced with temper tantrum once she gets over tired later by the small grin breaking out on her face._

_"Just go to sleep, sweetie. You have plenty of time to play the license plate game later okay?" She says amiably, attempting to help me reach my goal._

_"Okay, Momma. You promise? You promise we'll play later?" Lily asks hoping she'll agree with her. The sleepiness in her voice is undeniable._

_"We promise, Lils. Now go to sleep okay?" I say. I can't help but chuckle slightly at Lily who looks so much like me as a child in this moment._

_Lily quickly pulls her blanket up and places her current favorite stuffed cat on her shoulder. She turns away from Brittany and me, and within minutes I can hear her soft snores waver through the SUV._

_"How do you do that?" Brittany turns to me with a look of utter curiosity on her face. _

_"Do what?" _

_"Make her get to sleep like that? It always takes me forever to get her to fall asleep. I usually have to everything under the sun to make her sleep." Brittany's voice is underlined with slight shock at my abilities to make our daughter sleep._

_"That's because I don't baby her, and she knows that you'll do anything to get her asleep. But that's not your fault you just love her too much not to." I smile at her, hoping that she's not about to get mad at me for saying that. _

_"Hey!" Brittany goes to continue but we're shockingly interrupted._

_"Mami!" Lina half yells cutting her off. I turn around in my seat to face our youngest child a wide smile spreading across her face. "Mami, orange car!" _

_Brittany turns her head around for a quick second to see what Lina is talking about. Yes, sure enough, about 12 feet away on the other side of the divided highway is an orange Ford Mustang coming towards us. _

_I turn my head slightly towards Brittany giving her a wide smile. She sees the smile out of the corner of her eye and smiles back immediately. "Yes, Lina. That is an orange car. Good job, sweetie."_

_I stick my hand out to our daughter who looks as if she's just won the lottery. "Give Mami a high-five." Lina quickly slaps her hand against mine with a small giggle before going back to playing with her shapes puzzle. _

_I turn back to sit properly in my seat before she chuckles to herself. _

_"What?" I ask, my voice ringing with pride out of Lina's little outburst._

_"Our kids are amazing." Brittany hangs her head slightly and puts her hand over her forehead for a moment as she makes a stop at an intersection. Her head is completely turned in my direction now. "That was the understatement of the century, but it's true. I mean Lina isn't even two and she just said her first sentence. Lily can name out almost all fifty states and she's only four and a half. Nik's three and he understands the concept of soccer and can read almost as good as a five year old. Tommy is obsessed with anything that has wheels or makes music of almost any kind and likes to figure out how it works." _

_She stops for a moment as if to see if I'm still listening. I nod in reply to let her know that I was all ears. "It's crazy, they're so young but they're so unique, they each have a mind of their own. They're just so amazing. It's incredible that the little people that they are now and the just as amazing people they'll be when they get older came from you and me. You know?"_

* * *

"You remembered?" A smile crosses Brittany's face.

I let out another typical chuckle. "Of course I remember. I wasn't just sitting there staring at you through that entire speech and wasn't listening. I always listen."

Me, always listening? Yeah right. But when it came to Britt and our kids I usually did. "Seriously? So that time when I asked you bring me in a peanut butter sandwich with banana on it for breakfast and you brought me a strawberry banana muffin you were totally listening?" I couldn't help laugh. I definitely wasn't always listening but I would have to say that ninety-five percent of the time I was. And that definitely is a hell of a lot better than me not listening at all, like people would do to her in high school because they didn't know how to respond to her imaginative humour.

"Fine. Maybe, not all the time but most of the time."

"I'm just bugging you, San. You have impeccable listening skills." I don't resist the childish impulse to slightly stick my tongue out at her.

"Hey!" I half yell, careful not to wake Lily and the rest of our peacefully sleeping offspring.

"I love you, Santana." She laughs sweetly as she takes my hand in her own.

"I love you too, Brittany." Brittany slowly lifts my hand to her lips, gently kissing the back of my hand.

In this moment I'm perfectly content. I have no regrets. I don't regret choosing Brittany and facing my fears over wallowing in all the time that we'd lost to be together and everything that could have been. I don't regret it because I know that this is the way things should be.

"Mom? Mom!" Catalina's confused voice makes me aware of the present day.

"Sorry Cat, I was just driving down memory lane for a moment there with your mother. I'd love to sweetie but it's dark out and you had a point when you said everyone else was asleep. You should be asleep too." I smile sympathetically.

"I don't want to go to sleep. I want to–" Brittany cuts her off because she knows exactly what she's going to say.

"You want to keep us company I know but you've got nothing to worry about, Catalina. I'm definitely not going to let your mother fall asleep at the wheel. Right, San?" She now searchs for some reinforcement from me; we both know that if Lina doesn't go to sleep now she's going to be super mad at us in the morning for not making her go to sleep.

"Your Mom's right Lina. Just go to sleep, we'll be just fine up here. Plus just think of it this way, the more sleep you get now the less you have to catch up on later therefore the more time you get to spend with Emily. Right?" I look into the rear view mirror with a slightly inquisitive look on my face.

"I see your point. Fine, I'm off to sleep then, if I can that is. You two better not be cracking jokes and making each other laugh, especially you." She points her finger at Brittany, and raises an eyebrow just as I would have done.

I can't help but laugh slightly now. "Of course, I won't make her laugh, well not to hard anyways."

I shake my head at my wife's antics before looking back at Lina. "Just go to sleep Lina, you've got no worries."

"Alright, night Mom, night Ma." She replies before grabbing her blanket from down by her feet and covering herself, turning towards the passenger window.

"Night sweetie." Brittany says with a smile.

"Night mija." I say before swiftly turning back towards the windshield, not once letting go of Brittany's hand. Out of the corner of my eye I can see her looking at me; her gaze is nearly completely focused on me. "Yes, Britt?"

"Nothing." She replies almost too quickly for me to be able to take her seriously. I can feel the anxiety in her voice; it's purely inevitable.

"Brittany." I continue to press her because I know this isn't in my head. My voice is lowered significantly, so much that I can barely hear it as it escapes my lips. "I didn't want to mention it until I knew the kids were all asleep. But something's bother you. I can see it all over your face. Your smile doesn't quite reach your eyes and you look around to see if anyone else has noticed it. And I do, I do notice it. So you need to tell me what's going on in that breathtaking mind of yours because you're scaring me."

_**My mind begins to race uncontrollably. What do I say to her? How can I possibly tell her this? It will make her feel as if her walls are crumbling down around her and she's helpless. All I can do now is lie through my teeth and pray that she won't see right through it all. All I want is to break out and be free of this chaos.**_


	2. One

This chapter is in Brittany's point of view. _Italics_ are flashbacks, as always. Hope you guys enjoy! Again thanks for the support! =D

One. Will You Be There  
"I'm so confused will you show to me,  
You'll be there for me and care enough to bear me."  
- Will You Be There, Michael Jackson

"Tommy? Come on wake up." I pull the ear bud headphones carefully but swiftly out of my son's ears. "Tommy." I still receive no response from him. "Tom!"

"What?" Tommy's eyelids shoot open to reveal his dark brown eyes as he jumps out of his seat slightly. I can't help but raise my eyebrow at him much like Santana would. I had taken out a few of her habits over the yes in order for the kids to take me seriously as a disciplinarian rather than just being the 'fun' parent most people saw me as. "Sorry." He smiles weakly.

"You're forgiven, just don't do it next time. We're here now so you can get up and help me take the stuff out of the car. Please?" I reply as I lean out of the backseat doorway before making my way to the back of the SUV. Over the past two years Santana and I have been dealing with Tommy's temper that he inherited from Santana. We had made it clear to him that just because his mother used to act that way didn't mean it was acceptable and that it wouldn't be tolerated. We had agreed before we had children that our children would never be like we were as teenagers, no outburst or playing dumb to get what they want.

A few moments later as I open the hatch Tommy appears at my side, running his fingers through his black hair that could be considered by the teenage girls who actually knew what 'Grey's Anatomy' was and whose parents work at Mount Sinai as "McDreamy"-like. "Okay, Mom, hand me what you got." Tommy flashes me a smile wide enough to immediately cause me to smile back.

"Here you go, macho man. Don't carry more than you can handle." I laugh as I hand off Santana's large suitcase to Tommy. He was quite strong for a fifteen year old boy who only participates in sports that involves wheels.

"Look whose talking, Wonder Woman." Tommy chuckles along with me before rolling his eyes; he clearly remembers his DC Superheroes themed eight birthday party. I had been a blonde Wonder Woman and Santana was brunette Batgirl. I can't help but watch him as he walks away towards Santana's parents' house. Tommy was the only child out of all our four children that could be considered equally Santana and me.

Unpacking the SUV as Santana, Lily, Nik & Lina went in to see Miguel and Maribel has given me the time to think about the conversation Santana and I had had almost two hours outside of Lima.

* * *

_I can't think of what to say. My mind may be racing uncontrollably but there are no coherent thoughts; nothing I can turn into words, words to calm her down because she can't hear this from me. She just can't. _

_"Brittany, I need you to tell me what's wrong." I feel Santana squeeze my hand slightly. _

_"A child at work." I pause because the words come out of my mouth involuntarily. "Their parents just struck a nerve and I'm just trying to get it out of my head. There's nothing wrong with me. So I just need you to distract me, tell me some jokes." I chuckle now trying to keep this conversation as light as possible. _

_"You sure you don't want to talk about this?" I can sense the concern in her voice as she smiles sympathetically. _

_She knew that over the years that I had had some parents who were concerned with my personal life, which no matter how many times I tried to keep to myself came to the surface every year in September, and how that affected my ability to teach their children; as crazy as it sounds. Two years ago a father was banned from school property because the verbal distaste he showed towards the fact I was married to a woman, raised my children and taught others around my 'disgusting' lifestyle became physical. He had punched me in the face and kicked me in the ribs after the blow caused me to hit the floor. _

_I hated to bring up this incident because I knew how much trouble she had had letting out of her sight, let alone going back to work. I knew that this was the only way to get her off my back._

_"I'm sure, not right now. We can talk about it later on, okay? I just want to spend some happy quality time with you considering that I'm ninety-nine percent sure that I'm not going to get to spend time alone with you this weekend." I squeeze Santana's hand trying to reassure her._

_I can tell by the look on her face now that she's still worried, as if she's waiting for the other shoe to drop. And it will. She'll found out soon enough, I can't protect her from this, as much as I wish I could, and I can't. So I just want her to be happy now until it does happen. The 'little white lie' is my way of protecting her, just for now._

* * *

"Aunt Britty!" As soon as I walk through the door a small body collides with my own. I look down to find a dirty blond mess of hair belonging to my youngest nephew, Jonah, Reyna's youngest. She and David had managed to adopt three beautiful children through out their time together after her surgery; a daughter Lily's age, a son Nik's age, and of course Jonah. They had moved back to Lima a few months after adopting Penny.

I can't help but smile. "Hey there little man, what's shakin'?" I slowly put down the bags I'm carrying before lifting Jonah up in my arms. Jonah was pretty small for a seven year old making it possible for me to carry him.

"We got here early so we could get to see you and Auntie Tana, for longer before we had to go home and go to bed. And Abuelo got a cool new machine thingy. It looks like a gun holder thing." Jonah's eyes filled with amazement.

"Well I'm glad to see you too, Jo. Where's Auntie Tana hiding anyways?" I ask curiously because the rest of the house is quiet, which definitely is a rare occurrence at the Lopez's household when they all got together.

"She went upstairs with Mami and Abuela. Everyone else is in the den with Abuelo and the rest of the grown ups. But when Tommy said you were coming in after him I wanted to come and see you." He smiles widely showing off his infamous dimples.

I laugh slightly to hide my nervousness. "Okay, well let's go to the den then." I put Jonah down before following him downstairs to the den.

I'm met with the sight of my children sitting among my nieces and nephews near the fireplace. David is sitting on the loveseat with Jesse sitting next to him. Jonah swiftly takes a seat David's lap. But the person I'm looking for is sitting in a recliner facing the fireplace. My father-in-law's coloring is almost nonexistent which is extremely frightening considering his usual warm caramel tone. He's paler than I've ever seen him.

Miguel smiles softly, "Brittany, it's good to see you."

"Well it's always good to see you too, Miguel." I chuckle. "I see you got the LVAD afterwards. That's good, no more staying in a hospital bed for you." I smile widely; it's more for my own benefit than theirs. I had known about the LVAD before today. I just didn't know if they knew I had known so I try and play it cool by dropping the topic. "What are all of you guys doing up anyways? It's almost three o'clock in the morning. Shouldn't you all be in bed?"

Jeremy, my sister's husband chuckles before answering me. "Well some of us have been driving for a while and have children who slept the entire way that are currently like live wires." Ashley and Jeremy had moved to Jacksonville, Florida after Jeremy finished medical school and have been there ever since.

David also has two cents to put in. "And some of us have children who just couldn't wait to see their cousins so badly that they kept their parents up all night begging them to take them here."

"I see both of your points." I chuckle slightly before continuing. "So have you guys decided who's sleeping where?"

Lily is quick to answer my question. "Me and Lina are staying in the guest room upstairs. Nik and Tommy are staying in the guest room down here. And you and Mami are in Mami's old room." She smiles; it was evident that it was her handy work organizing who was staying where. Lily had a knack for organizing things; she definitely got that from Santana's and not me. It was also very much like her to leave Reyna's old room unoccupied.

After my first conversation with Santana after Reyna showed up on our doorstep years ago it had hit me why Santana was always slightly uncomfortable when we went to her bedroom using the typical way of the main staircase rather than me sneaking in through her bedroom window that frequently occurred. We would pass a room right before Santana's room, it always had the door shut and I had never been in it, as a child I surprisingly never asked why. It occurred to me after our conversation that the room must have been Reyna's when she still live with Santana and her parents. I was fairly certain that no one other than Santana's mother and Reyna herself have been the only one's in there since she moved out.

"Well that works well." I say with a smile before hearing the creak of the stairs leading down into the basement behind me.

Reyna and Maribel enter my peripheral vision but no Santana. My mother-in-law walks over towards her husband as I feel Reyna's hand on my arm. "She wants to talk to you. Upstairs." She whispers quietly in my ear before taking a seat next to her own husband.

"If you'll excuse me." I say quickly with a forced smile. I don't wait for a response from them as I swiftly make my way upstairs to her old bedroom.

I stop at her bedroom doorway finding her sitting on the edge of her bed with her head in her hands. Her raven curls are glowing with help from the only light in the room; the Ohio moon. I slowly make my way into the room and take a seat next to her on the bed. "Santana, I," I stop speaking as she creeps farther away from me.

"You knew. You knew and you didn't tell me. I'm so confused. Why didn't you tell me? You lied to me. There was no child's parents, was there?" Santana lifts her head up out of her hands her red brimmed eyes are filled with tears that are streaming down her face. I hate to see her like this.

"No there wasn't. I just couldn't say anything else. I love your family, our family. I, I just couldn't. I didn't tell you because I couldn't be the person who ripped your hopes away. I just couldn't. I love you too much. I just wanted you to happy as possible until we came here and you could see for yourself." I move closer to her and wrap my arm around her shoulder hoping she wouldn't pull away.

My hopes aren't fulfilled as she hops up off the bed. "And I thought you loved me enough to tell me. If I had to hear this from anyone I would have wanted it to be you! I would have wanted it to be you because I thought you'd be there to pick me up off the floor and hold me. That you'd be the one to tell me that it'd be okay. Not my mother, not my sister but you. You, Brittany, you." She looks me in the eye for a moment before turning away to head out of the room.

She doesn't get very far because my hand instantaneously grabs her and stops her from leaving. My mind now travels to the phone conversation I had with Maribel a week prior.

* * *

_"Hello?" I put the phone between my ear and my shoulder as I mix the stir-fry I making for supper. I hear nothing but sniffles and choked sobs as I wait for a reply. "San? Santana, is that you?" _

_"No." It takes me a second to recognize the voice on the other end of the line. _

_"Maribel, it's okay. Just breathe okay. Just breathe." I pick the phone up and place it fully on my ear turning off the stove. Supper could wait. _

_"Brittany," She stops as if for me to signal I'm still listening. _

_"I'm right here. It's okay. Just tell me what's wrong?" I look around the room to make sure the kids aren't here before swiftly walking to our office. _

_"It's Miguel, Brittany. He, he–" Her sobs begin again. It was extremely unlike Santana's mother to be this emotional, especially with me. _

_"Elizabeth." I pause a moment but receive no reply. "Elizabeth, I need you to listen to me, okay? I need you to tell me what happened to Miguel. Can you do that for me?" My voice presents itself as calm and concerned but deep down I'm almost as much of a mess as she is; because if something were to happen to Miguel Santana would be a complete mess, let alone the kids. _

_"Okay. Miguel, Miguel's in the hospital. The doctor's said something about viral cardiomyopathy and something machine called an L-vat." _

_This isn't good. This definitely isn't good; having my wife being a cardio goddess gave me enough knowledge to know what was going on. I realize that I haven't spoken for a moment. Say something, Brittany, damn it. "Okay, the machine is called and LVAD. It'll help pump the blood so that he go home. If you have any questions about it just ask the doctor and they'll explain everything to you okay, all you have to do is ask. We're all coming down for Miguel's birthday so we'll talk more about this then and we'll help you with anything you need okay, Maribel. I'm sorry Santana isn't home right now but I'll tell her to call you." _

_"That won't be necessary, Brittany. I just needed someone to calm me down, someone who's family, in this case, you. Thank you." Maribel laughs slightly as sniffs. _

_"Happy to be of service, Ma'am. Tell Miguel I hope he feels better soon. Just call us if you need anything else, okay?" I'm beginning to calm down slightly now. _

_"I will do that. Thank you again, Brittany. We both can't wait to see you, Santana, and the kids when you all come down. See you soon." Her voice is the calmest it's been since the beginning of this phone call. _

_"You're welcome, Maribel. Talk to you again soon." I say before hearing the infamous click of the receiver ending the call. _

_I slowly hang up the phone. My mind begins to race again. What do I say to Santana? How can I tell her this? Do I tell her at all or wait until we go to Ohio? I just can't. I can't be the one to do this to her. I can't._

* * *

"Santana. Don't do this. I'm right here." I push myself up off the bed with my other hand before closing the space between us. I wrap my arm around her waist before letting go of her hand to wipe the tears off her face.

Santana's eyes are focused on mine as if she's trying to read my thoughts. "I, I." She can't even finish her sentence. I can tell how much shock she is in and I need to make her realize that if there's only going to be one constant thing in her life, that thing is going to be me.

"I'm not running, I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere." I look straight into the eyes of my wife hoping she'll, no, needing her to understand exactly what I'm trying to say.

We share a quick moment of silence before our interaction is interrupted. Streams of raised voices from downstairs take us from our own little world. "Papi! Abuelo!" Santana's chocolate brown eyes widen and her breath hitches. My body's reaction mirrors hers.

"Mami! Santana! Mija! Help!"

Sorry for the cliff hanger again folks but it was just the appropriate place to end this chapter. Please don't hate me, please? :(

Hope you guys enjoyed it!

Reviews are highly welcome and very helpful *hint, hint, wink, wink, nod, nod* ;)


	3. Two

This chapter takes place from Santana's perspective. I'm sorry this chapter is shorter than usual but it felt like a natural place to end the chapter. Thanks so much for all your support! Brownie points to each and every one of you. Hope you enjoy! (:

Two. Apologize  
"I need you like a heart needs a beat but that's nothing new."  
- Apologize, OneRepublic

I feel Brittany's arm drop from my waist before I begin to run out of the room, bounding down the stairs with Brittany close on my heels. As we reach the bottom of the stairs and enter the den we find my family swarmed around the recliner chair where my father always sits. I quickly but carefully cut between Reyna and David; I can see Brittany continuing to follow me in my peripheral vision.

My father is sitting unresponsive in the recliner. My stomach immediately drops, it feels like someone has pulled my heart right out of my chest. "Lily, what happened?" I ask her because I knew that she is one of the few members of this family that has the ability to stay level headed.

I can hear Brittany whisper to Ashley to call 911. Jeremy goes to get me a small flashlight before Lily begins to speak. He had gone to medical school a year after he and Ashley got married and was now an ER doctor, so thankfully he knew exactly what to do to help. I begin to check the LVAD battery packs as I listen. "We just all sitting here having a chat and Abuelo just stopped talking. He tried to talk but nothing came out and his eyelids began to droop."

That's not good, definitely not good. I know what this means but I'm searching for another possibility because this one is simply to hard to face at this moment. The battery packs are charged. I can now see that he's diaphoretic. I place my ear against my father's chest due to not having a stethoscope on hand. His heart rate is dangerously low. I lift my head up as Jeremy comes up from behind me and begins to check my father's pupil reactivity. He looks down at me with a concerned look on his face.

"I need to start hand compressions. He's almost bradycardic." I go to lift my hands up to my father's chest but Brittany stops me by taking my hand.

"You shouldn't be the one to do this. Jeremy knows what he's doing. Let's go wait for the EMTs and explain to them everything when they get here okay?" Her eyes meet with mine. She looks at me with the utmost compassion and concern in her eyes.

I know she's right yet I have to tear myself away but I manage to stand up as Jeremy begins the compressions. "Ash you stay here and take care of the kids. David, get the cars started to we can follow the ambulance. Rey," My voice is wavering by the beginning of my cut off sentence.

"Mami, I'm not a kid. I'm going with you." Lily's voice echoes through the room breaking my concentration from the list of things I need to do. It wasn't like her to react this way but I can sense the fear in her voice. And the fear, fear can make you do almost anything.

"Lily, you." I begin to tell her that she needs to stay here and make sure that the rest of her siblings, and cousins for that matter, are okay.

"No, Ma. I'm going with you whether you." She doesn't get to finish her sentence either.

"Lily Quinn Lopez!" Brittany's voice is loud but it's not filled with what I'd call anger. "This is not the time for this. If you were old enough to go to hospital with us you would know that which is why you'reI not going. I know that you're scared. We're all scared. But you need to stay here. Help take care of Jesse and Jonah, you're responsible enough to do that, right?"

It was so out of character for Brittany to be the level headed one in this situation. I was always the one to level the battle field during fights with our children, especially in fights with each other. But it wasn't unfulfilling to see. It was just what I needed right now because I couldn't bring myself to do it.

Lily doesn't verbally respond, instead she just nods before beginning to usher Jonah and Jesse upstairs without protest. Nik and Tommy wordlessly and swiftly follow Lily upstairs as well. Penny and Lina go as Emily brings up the rear holding onto Reyna's eldest son, Jude's hand as they walk up the stairs behind them.

"I'll stay." Ashley assures us, clearly not wanting me to worry any further. "The older kids will be able to help me with Jonah and Jesse. We should be fine. Just call and give me updates when you can. She places a hand on my shoulder before going upstairs as well.

I notice that the once crowded room is almost empty. All that is left is Reyna, David, my parents, Brittany and I. "Reyna, let's go upstairs and wait for the paramedics. You were there so you can help me explain." I can feel Brittany place a hand on my arm. I can't help but her tense up slightly as she tries to get me to leave.

"I'm sorry, Tana, but I'm not leaving him." Reyna turns her head to look me in the eye. I can see the fear in her eyes, the fear that I'm certain is present in every single person who is in this house.

"Okay." I simply nod. I take the time to place a kiss to my father's clammy hand before beginning to reluctantly heading for the stairs to wait for the paramedics. I'm not going to fight her on this. Brittany never lets of my arm as we begin to climb the stairs.

As I reach the foyer I realize how much I need to get out of this house, even if it's just for a moment. I need a break from the chaos. I need my children to not be afraid for their grandfather's life.

I slip on a pair of flip-flops and exit the house, Brittany shutting the door slowly and silently behind us. I take a seat on the front porch swing which begins to move when I sit down. Brittany swiftly takes a seat next to me, wrapping her arm around my shoulder as I edge closer to her; begging to be able to feel anything else instead of afraid. I stop for a moment to take in the scene around me; the large oak trees along the edge of the yard, the tire swing suspended from one of its branches, my mother's pitiful 'garden' at the edge of the driveway that was filled with weeds due to it's lack of maintenance. As I notice all these things that make up the front yard of my childhood home I let the tears I didn't know I was holding back stream down my face.

Everything was out of my hands now. Sure, I was a doctor but there was nothing I could do to save my father from this; absolutely nothing. All I could do now was to wait as my heart broken into hundreds of little pieces.

* * *

What feels like hours later the sound of sirens fill my ears and within seconds the flashing lights of the ambulance can be visible. I quickly sit up off the swing and wipe the tears from my eyes in order to compose myself; I needed to help them not get in the way.

"Ma'am is this the Lopez's residence?" A tall blonde EMT asks as he gets out of the ambulance. His voice is filled with seriousness and his face mirrors his tone.

"Yes, sir. My father is downstairs. I'm a doctor and I've done all I can. He's an LVAD patient, I check the battery packs and they're fine but I believe there are complications with the LVAD and he appears to be having a stroke." My voice is wavering uncontrollably but I get make my point.

"Thank you, Ma'am. My partner and I will do everything we can to help him." He motions to his partner who is on the way to the house with a stretcher.

"Follow me." I quickly open the door to the house and make my way down the stairs to the den. My heart breaks even more at the sight of my brother-in-law continuing the compressions on my father.

"J.P" My voice is whimper as I make my presence known.

The EMT makes his way to Jeremy's side before speaking. "I'll take over." His voice is firm but I can sense the sympathy.

"He's bradycardic if you don't keep the compressions going." Jeremy moves her hands as the EMT moves his hands forward. "Sorry, I'm a doctor."

"I understand Sir. I just need you to stand back so we can move we're taking him to Lima Memorial where we can assess him better. But I do believe you're correct, his is having a stroke. We'll have the neurologist and cardiothoracic surgeons meet us in the ER so he will be in extremely good hands." He says as he and his partner lift my father onto a stretcher. "When did the incident occur?"

"About fifteen to twenty minutes ago." Brittany replies as she takes her place next to me, wrapping her arm around my waist for support. I can't help but grab her hand in response. I need Brittany to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be okay. No matter how upset with her I am I need her now more than ever.

"Okay, thank you." The other EMT says quietly as these two strangers lift the stretcher up the stairs, holding my father's life in their hands.

* * *

The drive from the house to the hospital was turning out to be more awkward than I thought it would be. My mother had opted to get a ride with Reyna and David; leaving me alone with my wife. The issue of Brittany not telling me about my father seems to be the pink elephant in the room, figuratively speaking. I can't help myself, I bring it up.

"Brittany, I don't understand." She doesn't repond, she doesn't even flinch. "Brittany." I can't help but slightly raise my voice at her because otherwise I wasn't going to be able to get her attention.

"Huh?" Brittany takes her eyes off the road for a moment, looking me in the eyes. There's no denying the concern she has for both my father and I. "What did you say?" Clearly she's been to focused on getting us there as soon as possible that she doesn't realize I've been speaking to her.

"Why didn't you tell me? I know that this isn't the best time to talk about this and that you already gave me somewhat of an answer. But to me it was someone of an excuse, not an answer." I hang my head as I look out the passenger door window. I can't bring myself to look at her right now, no matter how much I need her.

Brittany sighs in response before taking my hand in hers and begins to answer me. "I understand that it may seem like an excuse but it's exactly why I didn't tell you. It may seem selfish but it's true. I couldn't be the one to tell you about your father because. Well you know the phrase 'don't shoot the messenger'?"

I simply nod slightly in response. By the tone of her voice I can tell how much she's hurting, it may not be her father on the way to the hospital right now but it might as well have been. I can hear her sniffle slightly before she continues to answer my question.

"I didn't want that situation to happen. Even if your father's condition getting worse wasn't my fault I felt that if I was the one to tell you, you would react like it was. I just couldn't bear to see you look at me like that. I just couldn't. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you. It may have seemed to be the best thing to do at the time but now I can obviously see that it was stupid, extremely stupid and moronic of me to do that. I'm sorry. You have no idea have sorry I am." She lifts my hand to her lips and places a sweet kiss on the back of my hand.

"Britt, you're not stupid. It wasn't the best thing to do but it wasn't stupid. At this point, I just wanted to know why. I just wanted understand the logic behind why you did it. I'm not upset anymore, there's no way to go back and change it." I squeeze her hand to reassure her that I'm not angry and that I still love her.

"Do you remember after we went to the fertility doctor for the first time before we got married to make sure we could have kids when the time was right? And we got a message on the machine from her telling us to call her. Do you remember?" Brittany clears her throat as she waits for my reply before bringing our hands back down slightly above the gear shift resting on the center console.

"I remember." My voice could almost be considered a whisper.

How could I forget? I could remember every detail of that night. I remember coming home to find Brittany tossing and turning in our bed having a nightmare. I can still remember holding her as she cried herself to sleep. The images haunted my rare nightmares.

"This is something like that. Remember how I couldn't tell you what was wrong? I had just looked over at the answering machine hoping you'd get the point. I couldn't be the one to tell you about the doctor's message. I couldn't bring myself to be the one to put that look on your face. I couldn't be the one to make you feel like that. I couldn't tear your hopes away."

I take the time to look over at Brittany. Her cheeks are now lined with tear streams flowing down her face. "Brittany." I say trying to get her to look at me but she stubbornly keeps her eyes on the road. "Brittany." I try once more but still no reply; just as it was that night almost twenty years ago. "Britt-Britt. Look. At. Me."

Her baby blue eyes meet my contrasting chocolate brown eyes. They are filled with tears that I'm surprised aren't blurring her vision. "I'm sorry."

I take my other hand and fully enclose Brittany's hand between my own two. "I love you." I sigh contently. "I love you and that's what matters. We all make mistakes and I don't need you to be sorry. I just need you to be here with me because I love you and I need you. I need you, not you trying to make up for your mistake. Just be here with me because I need you now more than ever."


	4. Three

Hopefully this chapter doesn't disappoint and you don't hate me from the last chapter; I'm a little nervous about this one due to the lack of response on last chapter. This takes places from both Santana's and _Brittany's_ point of view. And the flashback in this chapter is in **bold**. I hope that doesn't confuse anyone! I hope you guys enjoy! =D

Three. Tonight  
"If my heart is full of sorrow, I'll call out for you."  
- Tonight, Emy Reynolds

Sitting in the waiting room as a doctor felt awkward to say the least. The little time I spent in the waiting rooms back in New York was to deliver good news and all too often the unbearable too. But right now there wasn't any news at all.

Brittany and I have been sitting in the waiting room at Lima Memorial hospital for the past half an hour with any news. I'm sitting with Brittany's arm around my shoulder holding me close as we watch David pace the room and Reyna help my mother fill out patient forms.

I scan the room to search for any sign of doctors who appear to be coming our way. My scan immediately stops at the sight of a doctor standing at a nurses' station just outside the glass wall of the waiting room. I'd recognize the profile anywhere even if I haven't seen it in years. They are approached by a tall, thin blonde man who was the doctor who had been in the ER when my father was brought in. I can feel Brittany begin to rub my shoulder with her thumb to try and calm me down as the two doctors being to walk towards us. This wasn't the time to be getting uptight.

"Mrs. Lopez. I'm Dr. Fields, the neurologist on your husband's case." The doctor who had been in the ER scans our group for a moment before sticking his hand out to shake my mother's. It's clear that he's been a somewhat recent addition to the Lima Memorial staff because if he was here longer than two years he'd know my mother from charity dinners and other hospitals functions. He'd know that my mother hates it when someone calls her Mrs. Lopez; she says it makes her feel like she's my father's mother.

I change my gaze to the face that had cause me and Brittany so much pain back in the halls of McKinley High all those years ago. He looks at me for a moment curiously before a look of realization crosses his face. He still looks the same. Her hair may be slightly lighter and bordering on grey but his features are still the same though his brown eyes seem less spiteful.

"And this is the cardiothoracic surgeon who will be on his case as well, Dr." He continues put I cut him off involuntarily, making him unable to finish his sentence.

"Dr. Abrams. Artie." I nod my head as Artie's wheel chair comes to a stop. I feel Brittany place a hand on my knee as if to calm me down and ensure me that everything's alright. I give him the best smile I can muster trying to hide the awkwardness I know if bound to follow this.

"Long time no see, Lopez." Artie says calmly before giving me a smile that seems completely genuine. It's a hell of a lot more than I expected from him. It surprised me that he was a surgeon, it was extremely rare to find a wheelchair bound surgeon. Clearly he must have been extremely good in order to be accepted into a surgical residency, one could guess that his lack of use from his legs increased his hand's and arm's manual dexterity.

Out of the corner of my eye I see my mother give Brittany a look before opening her mouth to ask about Artie. She quickly shuts it again due to Brittany subtlety shaking her head signalling her to stop. I notice a look of curiosity and raised eyebrows between Reyna and David.

"As I was saying we will be the two main doctors on your husband's case." Dr. Fields begins to continue talking to my mother. "Your husband had an embolic ischemic stroke of a thromoboembolism, which is a blood clot. He is a high risk patient due to his LVAD and the fact he went into A-Fib when he was brought in."

The more I heard from Dr. Fields the less comfortable I get. Every word he says eggs on my fears; confirms the worst.

"I just began administering tPA, which will help break down the clot which will allow blood to flow freely to your husband's brain." Dr. Fields finishes. I can't help but thank God that this guy seems to know what he's doing.

Artie takes Dr. Fields silence as a queue for him to begin. "I will be hooking Mr. Lopez up to non-mobile LVAD in a few moments and removing the one that he currently has until he has regained enough strength to go home. Then another cardiothoracic surgeon, Dr. Shay, will we replace it with a mobile LVAD so he can go home"

I'm confused by Artie statement. She was supposed to be the cardio surgeon on Dan's case yet another doctor would be replacing his LVAD.

"You won't performing the procedure yourself, Dr. Abrams?" David takes it upon himself ask. This makes me sure that I'm not the only one confused.

"No, sir. Dr. Shay will be the surgeon on Mr. Lopez's case next week because I'm transferring to another hospital out of personal obligation. I assure you, sir, that Dr. Shay is a fine surgeon and will not take the case lightly in any way." He nods slightly as if he's trying to make a guarantee.

My mother gives me a look as if to ask if it's okay. Brittany answers her by nodding slightly. "Well thank you, Dr. Abrams for taking the time to take my husband's case before you leave. This hospital clearly will be losing a great surgeon, I assure you." My mother smiles at Artie now for the first time.

"Thank you, Mrs. Lopez. No problem at all. I'm about to go check on Dr. Lopez but after that you all may go up and see him. Unfortunately hospital policy only allows three visitors at a time so two of you will have to wait outside. I apologize for the inconvenience."

At Artie's words I know for sure he's changed. The Artie Abrams I knew never had the word apologize or any word to do with being sorry in his vocabulary. And he sure as hell never apologized himself. He may have been a paraplegic but that definitely did no make him what one would consider a nice guy.

"Dr. Abrams and I will be going to check your husband now, ma'am but we will have a nurse come get you when you are able to see him. If you have any questions or concerns please as a nurse on the floor to page either Dr. Abrams or myself and we will respond as soon as we can." Dr. Fields takes the chart I only now notice Artie is holding from him before making his way out of the waiting room, being followed by Artie who surprisingly gives Brittany a quick smile before making his exit. I can't help but feel my stomach churn at the sight of him addressing Brittany. He had long lost that right.

I can see Reyna and David begin to give each other looks again just as they did when I first announced I knew Artie. My mother continues to look to Brittany for some sort of answer.

"So you know Dr. Abrams, huh Tana?" Reyna is the one to finally break the silence.

"Yeah, Abrams, Brittany and I go way back." I reply still leaving questions hanging in the air.

I can't see Brittany's face but I'm assuming her expression is telling Reyna to say nothing more. My assumptions are confirmed by the slight squeeze of Brittany's hand on my knee. I need to clear this up because I can't stand to see Britany acting this way for much longer. She shouldn't be worrying about me right now because of this, not if mu father is in the hospital still fighting for his life.

I lean into Brittany's body more, almost burying myself in her hair. "I'm fine. I promise." I whisper in her ear. I know she'll think I'm lying but right now I'm anything but lying. Seeing Artie after all this time may have shocked me at first but right now in this moment all I'm worried about is my father, my wife, and my children; my family. Not a man I barely know.

* * *

_Santana and I had decided to let the others see father first. I had decided that this would be a good time to talk away from everyone else. Santana was standing outside her father's room looking in through the glass window that made up a quarter of the wall. _

_"San?" I take her hand in mine and begin to rub my thumb on the back of her hand. It was one of those things that I did that loved though she'd never admit it. _

_"What? Sorry, you said something." She turns her head slightly so that she's now looking at me. _

_"I was going to ask if you were okay." I give her the best smile I can muster at the moment trying to get her to open up to me. _

_"I'm fine, Brittany" She simply replies before changing her gaze. She looks down at the vending machine that down the hall. _

_"San, you're not fine." I know that if I don't get this out of her now I won't later. _

_"That's the thing, I am. I am perfectly fine except for the fact my father is in the hospital and I'm worried about my wife and children. Besides for that I'm fine." She looks back at me again; her eyes straight into mine. _

_"This nothing to do with the fact that your father's doctor just happens to be my ex who tried to take me away from you?" I press her now because with Santana it's like tug-a-war; you pull, she pulls back. You've got to draw it out of her. I've had this experience more times than I can count._

* * *

**"What is up with you today?" I ask Santana as I take a seat on the kitchen counter watching her cook. **

**"Nothing, I'm fine." I can tell I've struck a nerve because she begins chopping peppers with even more force than she had before. **

**She had been giving me this routine all day. One minute she was acting perfectly fine then once someone mentioned anything that had to deal with the baby, her family, or mine her mood did an almost complete one eighty. **

**"No, you're not okay. Don't lie to me, I know you better than you think I do." I keep pressing her. **

**"Brittany, just drop it okay?" She says as she begins to furiously chop onions to go with the peppers.**

**"No," I hop down off the counter and cross the room so that I'm standing in front of the sink next to her. "No, I will not drop it. I won't drop it because something's bothering you and you shouldn't have to bottle it all up, Santana. It isn't good for you or the baby. You know that." **

**"Brittany, I don't want to talk about it okay?" She finally looks at me; her russet brown eyes are filled with anger and anxious. I can see it slowly eating away at her. **

**"Okay, Santana. I'll let it go." I place my hand on her arm for a moment before turning around to get the wine. **

**As I pull the bottle out of cooler I hear her slam the knife down on the counter top. "Damn it, Brittany." She picks up the dish cloth and wipes her hands before turning around leaning back against the counter. I put the bottle of red wine on the counter and look her in the eye.**

**Her eyes are now brimmed with tears. I can't tell if it's because of the onions or because of what's bothering her. **

**"Just let it out." **

**"Our first son's name isn't going to be named Tommy." Her voice is calmer than I expected but her admission catches me vastly off guard. She begins to shake her head before putting it in her hands. **

**I automatically place my hand on my hip before I verbally react. "Why wouldn't our son be named Tommy? We've been talking about baby names ever since we found out we were having a boy. We agreed that we'd name him Thomas after my brother. We named Lily after my mom so and we said we'd name him after my brother." My voice is laced with anger and confusion. It was a little known fact but I had a little brother who was born a year after me, he was born premature and only stayed alive long enough to be baptized and for my parents to hold him. It was the reason why my parents waited so long to have Ashley. I never met my brother but that didn't mean I loved him with all my heart. "We agreed,"**

**"No, we didn't. You and your mother agreed. That probably just made me sound like an insensitive idiot but you know me, the mouth moves before the brain explains. I didn't explain it to you." She now takes the time to look up at me. Her bold brown eyes meet my sky blue irises, they may be opposite of each other but are ever so complementary. **

**"Explain it too me, then." I'm highly curious at her reasoning behind her words.**

**"Our first son isn't going to be named Tommy, it's a family thing, I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier but you were so happy when you found out we were having a boy because you'd get to name him after your brother. But after hearing about it for the past two weeks I can't hold it in any longer. There's a, I guess you could call it a rule, in my family. The rule is that you can't name a child who doesn't plan on being your last child after someone who had passed away. It's a superstition, not rule really, but we all follow it by any means."**

**"But why?" I can't help but raise my eyebrow slightly. I've never known Santana to be the superstitious type but this definitely has struck a nerve.**

**"It's bad luck. Every one in my family who has ever done it has either lost a child or was unable to have anymore children after the child in question was born." She runs her fingers through her hair before tucking a few strands behind her ears. "And I don't want that to happen to us." Santana looks me in the eye again now. She looks like a teenage girl who's just had her best friend tell her that she's being cheated on.**

**I walk on to over to her wrapping my arms around neck, pulling her close before slowly rubbing my thumb on the base her neck. "And it won't." I smile. "Thank you for telling me."**

**I place my lips softly on hers. Her lips on mine are causing a frenzy to begin and adrenaline to rush through my veins. I try and show her how much I love her, how much I care about what she's thinking by keeping the kiss as chaste as possible without letting the passion behind it becoming obsolete. I can tell that she understands by the feeling of her hands on my hips for a moment before wrapping her arms completely around my waist.**

**As I pull away a smiles forms on Santana's face as she sniffles. "You understand right?" I nod slightly because I do understand, I do. "I promise, our last child we'll name after you brother, I promise." I expect her to go off in classic Santana fashion and begin rambling. But I'm pleasantly surprised at the sensation of her lips on mine once more even if it's only for a few moments. **

**"I love you." I smile widely showing off my slight dimples fully knowing that it's bound to make her smile again.**

**"I love you too, Britt-Britt. So are we okay now?" She asks somewhat sheepishly. **

**"We're more than okay." I can't help but giggle slightly because right now I know that she'll keep her promise, no matter how long it takes, because she's my Santana and she'll do whatever it takes to make me happy. And I love her for it.**

* * *

"No, Artie Abrams has nothing to do with this. I promise you. All I'm concerned about now is my father, you, the kids, and our family, your family. If I need you I promise you I'll let you know. Artie," Santana replies but she is cut of mid sentence.

"Sorry, were you trying to get my attention?" Artie rolls over to Santana and me from the nurses' station from across the hall. I hadn't noticed him at the nurses' station until now.

Santana thinks fast on her feet and begins to start up a conversation with Artie, but not before signalling she's is in fact okay be squeezing my hand. "Yes, I know it's not your specialty but I was wondering if you knew how the tPA was going?"

As if on cue loud beeping begins sound from my father's room. The look of shock on my mother's face is more than enough for me to know that something definitely is not right, definitely not right in the slightest.


	5. Four

This chapter is written from Brittany's point of view, the _italics is a voice over,__** and the bold is a flashback.**_ I really hope you guys like it! There is also a longer author's note at the end of the chapter! (:

Four. World Spins Madly On  
"Thought of you and where you'd gone,  
And the world spins madly on."  
- World Spins Madly On, The Weepies

"_Cowards die many times before their death," Shakespeare may have wrote those words hundreds of year ago long before our society's time and customs existed but he did have a point. If we spend our time being anxious over death, the inevitable, we die more than once. We die every time we miss an experience because of our fear. Shakespeare continued on with "The valiant never taste death but once." And there is where the lesson lies. We have to lean into the fear and live. We have to live valiantly so that when death does come, we have no regrets._

* * *

I feel Santana's grip on my hand instantly disappears with the sound of the monitors beeping echoing through the hall. Her black hair is only a flash as she runs into her father's room. Artie quickly follows behind her. Yet somehow my feet hare anchored to hallway floor. I watch my wife of almost twenty years rush to her dying father's beside and I'm stuck here. It is as if the world stopped spinning, as if time has stopped. But in reality it hasn't.

In reality, time is never ending and the world keeps spinning never stopping even for a moment. Even if it feels like everything is coming to an end it keeps going on. It keeps going on because you're not the only person in the world feeling this way. And you have to fight it. You have to give into the fear and the pain and just keep going.

I begin putting one foot in front of the other and make my way into Miguel's room. I look over at the monitor which is showing a flat line. I see Artie press the code blue button out of the corner of my eye. I turn my head to see Santana holding onto her father's hand, "Papi, don't do this. Please, don't do this. Por favor, no hagas esto." she manages to say before she begins to break down into sobs.

I'm able to catch her, wrapping my arms around her waist, as her legs begin to fail her coming dangerously close to crumple beneath her. "I got you. I'm right here." I gently pull her to her feet. The sound of her sobs is echoing the room is pulling at my heart strings making it extremely hard for me to keep composed. "I'm not letting go." I whisper into her ear. "Santana we need to move so they can do their job."

I slowly back up moving her along with me as I hear the sound of sneakers squeaking against the hallway floor. "I don't want to let go." Satana says breathlessly as the code team enters the doorway.

"I know, honey, I know but we have to." I kiss the top of her head as she reluctantly lets go of her father's hand. I take her now empty hand and lead her out of the room.

"I can't, I can't." Santana barely gets these few words out and is unable to finish her sentence. But she doesn't have to because I know exactly what she's thinking.

"Don't say it, San. It's not over yet. We don't know what going to happen. Don't give up hope yet." I look her straight in the eye, brushing her hair out of her eyes. "Don't let go."

She buries her head into the crook of my neck, gripping onto my shirt. I wrap my arms around her, cradling her in arms, fully knowing that there's nothing I can do to stop this from happening. The difference between life and death is out of my hands.

A few moments later Artie rolls of out my father in law's room. The look of defeat on his face says it all; the worst has been reality. She gives me a look of sympathy before beginning to speak. "Santana, I'm sorry. We did everything we could but he had a rare reaction to the tPA that was impossible to predict. I'm really sorry for your loss."

Santana looks up at Artie now for the first time. "Thank you, I, I" She tries to speak but she can't finish.

"It's a lot to digest I know, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for your loss and for before. I know it was years ago but still sorry, to the both of you."

Today wasn't the first time Artie had seen Brittany since high school. A few years after he had left for school Artie had returned for Christmas break and had run into her at the grocery store. But back then he was still the Artie Abrams that was rude and just happened to ask Brittany who the hell she was after Brittany had been slightly cold with him because she remembered all the pain he had caused us, me more so than her. But it was behind us.

"Its okay, Artie, but thank you." I give him the best smile I can muster, as I slightly tighten my grip on Santana continuing to try and comfort her.

"If there's anything you two need just page me and I'll do what I can. There's a coffee station in the attendings' lounge if you need some caffeine or anything if anyone questions why you're there just tell them I said it was fine for you to me there. Just have a nurse page me if you need me. Again, I'm sorry. Brittany, Santana." Artie nods then smiles sympathetically before slowly backing away and disappearing around the corner.

"I'm so sorry, honey." I place a kiss on Santana's temple as the tears that I didn't know I was holding back begin to trickle out of my eyes and stream down my cheek. "Is there anything you need?"

"I just need you to hold me. Please?" She looks up at me, sorrow seeping from her chocolate brown eyes.

"I can do that."

"How is he?" Santana's cousin Carlos enters the doorway, completely breath taken. He leans against the door frame for a moment before realizing what has happened.

I can't get over how much my son, Tommy, looks like Santana's cousin. Carlos himself looks like a male version of Santana. His black mop-like hair and the hair of my son are almost one in the same. They share their most prominent features; their eyes, nose, cheekbones, and smiles. Normally I would find this endearing but right now I wish he didn't, oh how I wish he didn't. I wish my son wasn't a spitting image of him because I never wanted to see the look his face on the face of Tommy or any of my children; or Santana for that matter.

Carlos' eyes are beginning to fill with tears which are highly out of character for him. Carlos was the typical big brother figure. He was protective over his family; his wife, his children, his cousins, especially Santana. I remember hearing numerous stories about how Carlos was the one who taught her how to fight, telling her just because she was small didn't mean she wasn't a Lopez and Lopez's knew how to handle themselves. How he stood by Arizona's side and helped her when turmoil took over when first realized she was gay. He was even a strong man back then but right now in this moment he looks like a young boy whose dog has just died.

Carlos walks over to the bed pulling a chair behind him. As he sits down he takes the lifeless hand of one of the best men I've ever known; the man who raised my wife to be the amazing person that she was. And for that I'd be eternally grateful.

I look over at Santana who is staring at her cousin. I can tell she's think the same thing I am. She's comparing Carlos' features to those of our son, her eyes tracing their identical features. After a few moments Santana looks up at me, her eyes filled with tears. "How are we going to tell them?"

She doesn't need to explain who she means by them because I instantly know who she's talking about. Our children. And the truth is right now I don't know the answer. Instead of answering her I take her hand in mine. "Let's go get some coffee, we'll figure it out soon enough, San." I give her the best look of assurance I can.

She wipes the tears from her eyes with her other hand before answering me. "Okay." She stands up from the chair she's sitting in and I quickly follow suit.

As we're almost out the door Santana stops. She lets go of my hand, turning away from me. I'm about to enquire what she's doing but I realize before the words are even out of my mouth. Santana lays a hand on Carlos' shoulder. "I'm sorry you weren't here. I'm so sorry." She bends down and places a kiss on her cousin's cheek. She rubs Carlos' shoulder before walking slowly to me. I wrap my arm around her shoulder and usher her out the door, praying that we'll all be okay after this.

* * *

As we enter the attendings' lounge I notice next to the coffee station is partly occupied. Artie Abrams is staring into a coffee cup, a look of sorrow in his eyes. I look over at Santana to see her reaction and to see if she wanted to continue any farther into the room. She looks at me at nearly the exact moment and nods, signaling that she doesn't have a problem with continuing to enter the room.

Stepping further into the room causes Artie to look up from his coffee cup. He gives us a look of slight shock before starting to roll out of the room. "I'll just get out of your hair."

"Its okay, Artie. There's no need for you to leave." Santana gives him her the best smile she can, which I can see is genuine.

"Thanks." Artie replies sheepishly as her rolls back towards the large sitting in the center of the room.

Satana begins to walk towards the coffee cart, "Go sit down, I know how you like it." Santana gives me an encouraging smile.

I carefully take a seat on the other navy couch across from Artie as he takes a sip of his coffee rather than just staring at it. It is only then that I notice the gold band on his left ring finger. "I see you're a member of the club now too." I smile trying to get to know the Artie Abrams that replaced the one I used to know.

He obviously doesn't know what I mean considering a quizzical look crosses his face. "Excuse me?"

I can hear Santana chuckle slightly behind me. I can't help but smile again. "I meant that you're married now." I chuckle at the relief that instantly floods Artie's face.

"Oh, that's what you meant. How did you expect me to have a sweet clue what you were talking about?" He smiles before taking another sip of his coffee.

It's strange to see him acting so civil with me, it's just as if we had only ever been friends and his behavior towards Santana after I broke up with him had never happened. It was highly unlikely that this was going to happen but now that it's happening I can't deny that I missed Artie, as a friend.

"Yes, I did get married, why are you so surprised?" He chuckles as he places his now empty coffee cup on the coffee table that is between us.

"Well the Artie Abrams I knew thought that marriage was for people who wanted to be slaves to their significant others." I roll my eyes as I feel Santana take a next to me. She hands me my black three sugars coffee before blowing on her own and taking a sip.

"Well that version of me is long gone, even though I do have my sarcastic moments every once in a while. I've grown a lot since then." Artie sits back in his chair making himself more comfortable. I can tell he's becoming calmer around Santana considering out their past interactions.

"How long have you two been together?" Santana asks trying to continue friendly conversation.

"Maggie and I have been together seventeen year and married for sixteen." He smiles a full blown smile after speaking this time.

"Well considering you changed, and got married did kids ever become part of that equation?" I'm purely curious because Artie had never seemed to be the type to have children. He had always seemed too much of a kid himself to ever want to be parent to anything more than a thamagotchi.

Artie laughs; I can tell his sense of humor hasn't changed much even if he has. "Surprisingly they did. We've got two. I'm assuming the two of you have kids, I could tell just by the look on your face when you ask Santana. How-" He is unable to finish answering the question as his pager begins to go off, vibrating atop the coffee table. "And that's all the time we have on the Dr. Abrams show." Artie laughs as he picks up heis pager. "It's a 911. Sorry we didn't get talk to more. It was great to see you again, both of you. Again, I'm sorry for you loss." He smiles before swiftly grabbing his coffee cup and tossing it in the garbage can as he rolls out the door.

I look over at Santana who is putting her cup on the table. She looks up at me; her are slowly beginning to fill with tears once again. I can tell bringing up the kids has got her back to thinking how we're supposed to tell them. "You know what I'm going to ask don't you?"

I put my half empty coffee cup down next to hers. "Yes." I lean back on the couch, wrapping my arm around her shoulder, leading her back with me so that her head rests on my chest. As our bodies come in contact I can feel hers begin to shake as she tries to hold in her sobs. "And I know the answer now."

"You do?" her voice is quite now while I run my fingers affectionately through her beautiful raven black hair.

"I do." I say as I tuck a few strands of Santana's hair behind her ear my fingers come in contact with Santana's soft skin for a moment until it meets a sporadic scar. The memory of why the scar was formed instantly begins to play out in my mind.

* * *

_**"Are you serious, Santana? You seriously don't know how?" I'm trying so hard not to laugh. The whole thought of this being true is completely ridiculous to me. **_

"_**Yes, Brittany, I'm serious." Santana gives me a stern look as she slaps me playfully on the arm. **_

"_**I can't get over how Santana Lopez, queen of the peds wing doesn't know how to ride a bike. What the heck did you without me as a kid? Play cards with your abuela all day?" I finally chuckle because I can't hold in my laughter any longer. **_

"_**It's not funny. I did things. I was more of a TV watcher and lego playing type of a girl, remember? Biking just wasn't my thing." Santana puts her hand atop of mine which is pushing the stroller in which Tommy and Catalina were sitting in. We had dropped Lily and little Nik at Quinn and Rachel's house for a play date but we decided it would be a great time for us to have some alone time with the twins. **_

"_**Well, I'm going to teach you. And no, we're not starting off on training wheels either." I can't help but laugh at the thought. **_

"_**Britt, I'm never going to need to know how to ride a bike." She replies stubbornly.**_

"_**Yes, you are. What's going to happen when the kids get a bit older and they want to learn how to ride a bike and I'm working so I can't teach them, huh? They're going to be asking why you can't teach them. Do you want to have to deal with the embarrassment of telling your children that you can't ride a bike and that's why you can't teach them? Do you really want to do that?" I know exactly how get her to give in. I don't want her to miss out on this experience; this is one of the experiences I can give to her.**_

"_**Fine, but if I'm hurt in any way and stitches because of this Puck's going to be the one to do them, not that stupid intern he swears is the best thing since beer. Promise to make sure he does it?" With this statement Santana jinxed herself. She had managed to trip over her own feet, earning us a trip to the hospital.**_

* * *

"Britt-Britt?" Santana's voice is full of concern.

"Sorry, San. I was just remembering you trip over your own feet and getting this." I place a soft kiss on the scar near her hair line.

"Okay." Her voice has gone quiet again, signaling she's beginning to worry about telling the kids again.

"We're going to tell them that your father lived a good life because he did. He got to be an amazing father and grandfather. He experienced the majority of this of the things the world had to offer. He didn't let his fears stop him from living. And he taught that lessons to his family, to you, and we taught that to them. So he lives on in our experiences and he's proud of them, he may not be here to say that but that doesn't mean it's not true. We'll tell them to live valiantly, to make him even more proudly, and follow in his footsteps."

Santana sits up and turns to face me. "Since when are you so good with the serious stuff?" She says placing her hand on my cheek. "It's perfect."

"I wouldn't say perfect but–" I don't get a chance to finish my sentence as Santana's lips find my own.

"Don't ever die on me." Her eyes are beginning to fill with tears once again.

"I'll do my best not to." I kiss her forehead pulling her into my lap, wrapping my arms around her protectively.

"I love you, Brittany Susan Lopez." At her words blood rushes to my cheeks, even after all these years it still makes me blush.

"I love you too, Santana Eulalia Lopez."

* * *

**I truly wanted to thank all of you for reviewing. Your reviews make my emotions go all over the place; making me smile, laugh and cry. I am so happy that you are enjoying the emotional ride that I've created with this story and that understand how important it is to me. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you to every single one of you!**

**And to answer Chrissie32's question, I am refering to their high school years. In my own personal opinion I do not see Artie as a nice guy, any respect I ever had for him was lost when he called Brittany stupid. I personally think he's an arrogant, manipulative arse. But I do believe people can change, as currently seen in this story. Hope that clears up any confusion or questions (:**


	6. Five

This chapter takes place from Santana's perspective, _**bold is flashback!**_ I would love to get some feedback on this chapter because I'm slightly worried about it.

Five. Memory  
"We could fall apart, and I'd be your memory."  
- Memory, Sugarcult

Walking into my parent's house, "No, it's not my parent's house anymore it's my mother's house." I mentally correct myself, felt surreal. The silence echoing through out the house brings me back to my nightmares I slowly acquired after my first few years as a resident. After my sister visited us in New York for the first time they became more vivid.

I would walk though my silent childhood home, the furniture would all be replaced with tiny coffins of the patients I tried so hard to save but couldn't; all except for one. As soon as I would make my way up the main stairs her bedroom door would always be open. And there it was; an adult size coffin surrounded by candles and haunting photos from our separated childhood. I would always manage to get through the doorway before I woke up screaming.

"Santana." I'm shaken out of my reverie by the feeling of Brittany's arm grazing against my own as she takes hold of my hand. "I'm right here. We can do this. I promise." She quickly leans in and places a chaste kiss to my temple.

As she pulls away I look into her warm baby blue eyes I can see the sincerity and love that is also clear in her voice. I can feel the tears beginning to form in my own. Hearing the door shut behind me signals that my mother, my sister, and my brother-in-law have entered the house.

I turn around to find David with his arm around my slightly sobbing mother. This image brings me back to that unbearable day my sister momentarily died in my arms. My father is holding onto my sobbing mother to keep her from collapsing to the ground. Every family member at the get together had someone to hold them; all of them had someone except me. Brittany, my sweet, innocent Brittany was at home miles and miles away; away from all of this pain and suffering. But today was different; today I had someone to hold me while I cried and my mother didn't have the man who loyally stood by her for over fifty years, my father.

"It's hard, I know. I may not know what it's like to lose a parent but I do know what it's like to lose one of the people who keep your feet on the ground." The image of Brittany at her grandfather's funeral a few months after the twins were born crosses my mind, causing my stomach to churn.

She gets to say no more as Ashley enters the room from the main stairs. The small sympathetic smile that was on her face disappears as she comes to the realization of what has happened by the looks on all of our faces. She continues down the stars, giving a hug to Reyna, before making her way over to my mother. She pulls my mother into a hug before speaking.

My sister-in-law looks over at Brittany and me. "Almost all of the kids are asleep. Santana, only Lily, Nik, and Tommy are awake, Lina fell asleep in Nik's lap earlier."

That's all I needed to hear. "Where are they?" I try and keep my voice as calm as possible but somehow it cracks at the end of my words.

"Lily convinced them to go upstairs to your room." I can hear the sympathy in Ashley's voice as she gives me a smile sad smile. I only now notice the tears that are forming in her eyes.

"Thank you, Ash." I reply as Brittany wraps her arma round my waist before beginning to usher me upstairs.

I'm thankful Brittany is leading me because I know if it was solely up to me I wouldn't be able to move. My feet would be concreted to the hardwood foyer floor. As I put one foot in front of the other I slowly pull myself together knowing that this is about to be the hardest thing I've ever done.

As we finally reach my childhood bedroom doorway the sight of Lina in Nik's lap her arms draped loosely around his shoulders. This position of my youngest daughter and eldest son brings back memories instantly.

* * *

_**Walking down the halls I tried desperately high my head held high. I had told myself that this time I wasn't going to let it affect me. I was Santana Lopez, HBIC, head cheerleader. I was made of steel. **_

"_**I am who I am. Nothing's going to change that, it doesn't matter what they think. I know who I am, over half of them don't even know who they are themselves, let alone who I am. It doesn't matter."**_

_**I mentally try to give myself a pep talk but the obvious whispers and awkward stares are too detrimental. It was clear that the entire school had seen the commercial when it aired yesterday evening. I keep walking, feeling the tears beginning to form in my eyes, I fight them back as hard as I can; fully knowing that there's nothing I can do to stop them completely, only slow them down. **_

_**As I walk further and faster down the hallways it is as I am parting a sea. No one stands directly around me they quickly move out of my way, giving me more awkward looks and extremely rare looks of sympathy. **_

_**Coming closer to the set of emergency stairs leading out of the school I see an all familiar face. At first he smiles like he always does, it's present only for a moment as he realizes that I am not smiling back. Carlos' smile fades as I continue to walk past him. **_

_**Thankfully McKinley didn't have alarms on emergency exits so I swiftly made my way to the empty staircase without drawing more attention to myself. I continue down the flight of stairs leading out of the school. Midway down the second flight I hear the door open behind me and Carlos call out for me to stop. Even if my heart was telling me that stopping was a rational idea my feet kept on going, never stopping until I reach the bottom of the staircase. I attempt to hide like a child playing hide and seek under the stairs, leaning against the wall trying to control the sobs that have now begun to take over my body.**_

_**My attempt to hide is futile. Carlos doesn't exit the school to run after me as I had hoped. He knows me to well not to do that. Instead he slows down as he reaches the last flight of stairs before slightly hesitating as he tucks behind the stairs.**_

_**My vision has now become slightly blurred with tears; his features are only slight incoherent. He sits down on a bench next to me that I hadn't noticed until now. As he sits he taps the spot next to him, signalling for me to follow suit and sit next to him. **_

_**I reluctantly take a seat next to him, as I sit the sob I've been holding capture in my throat escapes creating a strangled cry. I bend over, burying my head in my hands as if in shame.**_

"_**Don't do this, Santana." I feel his warm bear paw hand on my shoulder. "You're better than this. You're better than hiding face in your hands as if in shame. " I can hear the sincerity ringing out in his tone even though I can't bring myself to believe him at this point; despite only being a month older than me, Carlos was the big brother I never had.**_

"_**No. No, I'm not. And by the way you're not helping." I manage to spit out. **_

"_**Yes, you are. You proved that your better than this when you decided to be who you are without hiding one of the things that make you 'you' Santana. So yes, Santana you are better than this." Carlos' voice is firm yet somehow comforting.**_

"_**I didn't have a choice in hiding." I bite back, clearly my Lopez defence reflexes still work when I'm spoken to.**_

"_**But you didn't deny it either, though did you?"**_

_**His tone reminds me of my father. It is the same tone my father used when I had sat him and my mother down and told them I didn't like men. My father's response now beings to echo through my mind, "Are you still who I raised you to be?" I am. I am still the same person I've always been except for the fact that I'm now telling people something about myself I never have before. But that doesn't make me a different person, a person who isn't better than hiding in stairwells. I'm still that feisty, yet lovable girl who knew how to handle herself and how to protect the things she loved. Always have been and always will be; my sexuality will never affect that. Carlos, and my father, was right.**_

"_**You're right." I look up at Carlos, wiping the tears from my eyes. "As much as I hate to admit it, you're right. I don't deserve to wallow in myself pity no matter how much I want to."**_

"_**Exactly, now what do you have next period?" My cousin now gives me a classic Lopez smirk.**_

"_**Study hall, no wait, I have chemistry." I say with a forced laugh. **_

"_**Okay, so you're going to walk into that chemistry class head held high and show them that I am right." I slap him on the arm. "Hey! What was that for?"**_

"_**That was for tooting your own horn." I give him a genuine smile before laughing.**_

"_**Come here you!" Carlos pulls me into his lap giving me a bear hug as I wrap my arms around his neck. **_

"_**I don't know what I'd ever do without you. You're the best slightly older brother I never had. You're going to make some girl very happy one day." I say hopping out of his lap picking my backpack off the ground as I go.**_

_**Carlos sits up wearing a proud smile on his face. "You already do Santana. Don't forget that okay?"**_

_**I can't help blush at the thought of Brittany. "I won't."**_

* * *

"Mami?" My memory dissolves as Lily's anxious voice fills the room. All of my children are sitting on my bed.

I look over to Brittany for the help I desperately need. She gives me a look filled with admiration before squeezing my hand for reassurance.

"Ma, is Abuelo okay?" Nik is next to speak. It is rare for him to speak before everyone has spoken; he managed to obtain the quiet gene, which is something he definitely got from Brittany's side of the family. He and Brittany's Uncle Ben tied for the quietest Pierce in family history most definitely.

I look into my son's eyes. The desperation and anxiety is present in their purest forms. If I looked close enough I could see tears slowly beginning to form. Nik was a strong kid and was definitely the best older brother Catalina and Tommy could have asked for but right now he looks just as he had on his third birthday when Brittany and I had failed to bring him to the park due to me being called in on triage duty. The look that is on his face right now is the adult version of that same expression, he was no longer my little boy who preferred soccer balls to playing with trucks and couldn't stand having to wait for his Kraft Dinner to be finished.

I can feel Brittany's grip on my hand tighten. She's giving me the reassurance that I need whether she knows it or not. I take a deep breath, getting up the nerve to speak. Brittany realizes that I might not even be able to answer him so she begins to answer the question for me. I only allow her to get his name out before cutting her off, this was something I needed to do; prepared or not. This was for my kids, not for me.

"No, Nikolas." Tears are now forming in my eyes starting to blur my vision. "No, Abuelo isn't okay." I quickly wipe the tears out of my eyes trying to keep myself composed.

"So when can we go see him at the hospital? Considering by the sounds of it he's not coming home soon. Can we bring him a birthday cake? Get Ma to make one? Does that sound like a good idea, or no?" Tommy speaks up beginning to ramble, Brittany right on the spot, and then stops realizing he has be rambling causing him to blush slightly.

My face must have given away what I was going to say because Lily gets to the punch before I can even say a word. "Tommy." Her voice is laced with concern and sorrow. I can't help notice her sniffle as she looks over at Tommy.

The tears in my eyes have now become inevitable, they begins to stream down my face as I let go of Brittany's hand and take a seat on the bed with my children. Brittany swiftly follows suit, sitting on the edge of the bed, wrapping her arm around my waist as if to protect me.

"I'm sorry, honey, he's, he's," I had promised myself on the car ride home that I wasn't going to break down in front of them. I promised myself that I'd put on a brave face and be a good man in a storm. But right now that promise means nothing as sobs begin to take over my body.

My wife let's go of my waist and begins to run her fingers down through my hair trying to comfort me. She clears her throat before beginning to speak. "Your grandfather," She is cut off for the second time in the past five minutes but this time it's not by me. It's Nik.

"Mom, what about Lina?" He motions to his baby sister who is peacefully asleep in his lap.

Brittany looks down at me as if to look for answer to the question I know is running through her head. I simply nod while trying to regain control of myself.

"As much as I hate to do this to her, I'm going to wake her up." She answers Nik's question.

"Can't we wait 'til she wakes up? Just so she can get some sleep."

"Sweetie, I know your heart is in the right place but I can't do that. Doing this once is going to be hard enough on me, let your Mom wake her. Okay?" I say, Brittany just smiles slightly trying to make us feel better even if it's for a split second.

I wipe my eyes before putting my hands down on the bed. To my own surprise I feel two warm hands place themselves on top of my hand. Look up to find Lily and Tommy looking me straight in the eyes. Their eyes both mirror my own; filled with tears and starting to become slightly bloodshot.

Brittany edges closer to Nik and Lina, "Sweet pea, you've got to wake up now." She runs her fingers through her hair trying to wake her.

"Momma, what time is it?" Lina replies as wipes the sleep from her eyes as Brittany retreats slightly, pulling her finger out of our daughter's hair.

"It's four o'clock, sweetie."

"Then why are you waking me up?" A shocked expression comes across her face as she comes to realization. "Is Abuelo okay?"

"No, baby he's not okay."

"He's never going to get to watch us graduate is he?" She's the only one of our children who is able to say something like this. She may have been the youngest but she was the most outspoken. Whenever something was on her mind she said it, blunt honesty.

"No, baby, he's not going to be there but he's going to see you from heaven. I know it sounds cliché but its true, sweetie." I finally am able to speak. "Do you want to know why it took so long for us to come home?" She nods her head as she tightens her hold on Nik. "We couldn't think of what we'd say to you. But eventually your Mom here thought of exactly what to say." I give Brittany the best smile I can before continuing.

"Your abuelo was a brave man, a brave man who lived a great life and raised me, Aunt Reyna and some of your cousins to be amazing people, teaching them life lessons that are important. I need you learn from my mistakes and your grandfather's life. We taught you to face your fears, to move on, to never let what others say and think get you down, to be who you are, who we raised you to be." I can't help stop to sniffle, wiping my tears from face.

I continue the conversation once againthrough the pain because I know that if I don't I'll regret it. "He's so proud of you. He may not be here to tell you but that doesn't mean it's not true. He's always in our memories. He's always going to watching over us, so live valiantly and make him even more proud."

* * *

I walk through the tiny coffin filled house, putting one foot in front of the other beyond my control. I head up the main oak hardwood stairs, soon entering the hallway I make my way to the door of my parent's bedroom. I try desperately to stop myself from pushing the door open; fully knowing that it will be one of my biggest mistakes, but my resistance is utterly futile.


	7. Six

This chapter is told mainly from Brittany's perspective but the beginning is told from _Santana's view,_** and bold is flashback**. I hope you all enjoy! =D

Six, The Only Exception  
"I've got a tight grip on reality,  
But I can't let go of what's in front of me here."  
- The Only Exception, Paramore

_I push open the solid oak door to my parent's bedroom. I find an adult size coffin surround by candles and pictures, just like my sister's had been. But something is different. My mother is on the floor sobbing. She looks up at me, "Santana!"_

* * *

My eyes fly open at the sound of Santana screaming in her sleep. This is the fourth time in the past week since we've been home. I sit up in the bed wrapping my arm around Santana. "San." I begin to shake her slightly. "San, you've got to wake up, sweetie."

Her eye lids immediately open revealing her tear filled brown eyes. She tries to speak but her trembling lip and small sobs stop her.

"Shh, it's okay." I give her a small smile before placing a kiss on her forehead. I see the clock on the bedside table out of the corner of my eye. 4:02 am. "Do you want to get up now or do you want me to sing you back to sleep?" I put a bigger smile on my face.

I normally wouldn't sing her to sleep out of embarrassment considering how great Santana's voice is but there was the rare case when 'desperate times calls for desperate measures' holds true. And this was one of those cases.

"H-how much time until we need to get up?" Santana forces herself to speak. Today was our first day back work since leaving for Ohio a week and a half ago. Thankfully our bosses were highly considerate with giving us extra time off.

"We've got around another hour and a half." I'm hoping it's long enough to back her want to go back to sleep. She needs to be on her game today because if she's not going to blame herself the smallest things that aren't her fault which is definitely something she doesn't need.

"Sleep." She replies quietly, almost as a whisper.

I lay back down in bed facing her, Santana swiftly curls up against me, and her back is press slightly against my chest. "What do you want to hear? The Beatles?" Ever since our trip to Lima she's been listening to the classics nonstop.

"No, you pick." She mumbles as I wrap my arm around her torso pulling her closer, my other hand besides to play idly with her slightly curled hair, breathing in her scent.

I clear my throat slightly before beginning to sing quietly, to not wake anyone else in the house. "Oh, why you look so sad? Tears are in your eyes, come on and come to me now. Don't be ashamed to cry, let me see you through cause I've seen the dark side too." I continue to sing as Santana takes my hand, intertwining our fingers. "When the night falls on you, and you don't know what to do. Nothing you confess can make me love you less. I'll stand by you."

I don't stop singing until I feel Santana's soft snores begin to echo the room and her breathing evens. All I can do now is hope that I've done enough to keep the nightmares away, at least for the next hour and a half.

* * *

"Hey Blondie! Hey Lopez! Nice to have you back!" Puck enters the attending's locker room a wide smile on his face; I had decided to bring Santana to work this morning before heading onto school. I needed to make sure she actually went to rounds rather then hiding away from everyone.

"Hey Puck." Santana turns around and gives him the best smile I've seen her muster in past few days that wasn't for the kids.

I could remember what Santana became like after her abuela died, how she was a completely different person from the grown adult she'd become; irrational, quiet, with mood swings and even sometimes violent, so much like her teenage self. I was thankful that only one of these behaviours has come back to her since her father's death. She doesn't speak half as much, and when she doesn't the perkiness is gone, no enthusiasm in the slightest.

Her behaviour has been egging on my fears of her changing, her becoming the person she used to be.

"Blondie, can I talk to you for a minute?" Puck begins rubbing his chin, signalling that this is something of importance he wants to talk to me about.

Santana wraps her arm around my waist before giving me a quick kiss. "I'll see you when I get home." She gives me a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes before swiftly exiting the room.

"So what is it this time, Noah?" I chuckle as I take a seat on the bench to tie up my shoes. "Girl problems? Spill." I give him a goofy smile.

"No, none of that." I'm surprised that he never slapped me or scolded me for calling him Noah. "This, this is actually about you, and Santana."

"Okay." I raise my eyebrow slight due to the fact I have no idea what Puck is talking about.

"There's something you got to know, Britt. He's" Puck doesn't finish his sentence, his eyes focus on something or someone behind me.

"Puck?" I slap him slightly on the arm. "Puck." I receive no respond so I decided to turn around and look for myself.

And there it is; the root of what I'm assuming Puck was going to tell me and what has got his tongue. The infamous Artie Abrams, there he was opening a locker and putting some of his stuff in it like it was his usual routine.

I whip by head back to look at Puck. He nods his head. "That's what I was trying to tell you, before you heard it from someone else." He whispers. "How do you think Lopez is going to react?"

His voice is fully of genuine concern. He and Santana have grown to be closer than I thought they ever would. When Puck freaked out over something or another, usually girl problems, Santana was usually the one to calm him down.

"I honestly don't know how Santana is going to react. When we were in Lima and Artie was there she was fine, but right now I honestly don't know. She's changed ever since we got home. She tried to put up a front for her mom and the rest of her family but since we've been home she continues to act like that in front of the kids but in front of me, she's not the same." I close my eyes and shake my head for a moment. "So Puck, I honestly don't know."

He places his hand on my shoulder, "You'll figure it out, Blondie you always do. I just thought it would be better that you heard it from me and that it would be best if Santana heard it from you too. And not from this hospital's gossip chain, it's worse than The Muckraker." He chuckles slightly, I know he's cracking jokes trying to cheer me up; it was one of the things that made him one of my closest friends.

"Thanks Puck, I've got to go find Santana before as you put it 'hears it from the gossip chain' and before she or I catches Artie's attention." I give him a small smile as I swiftly exit the attending's locker room hoping that Artie isn't as observant as he used to be.

* * *

As I exit the elevator, walking out onto the ped's floor, a familiar head of raven hair belonging to my wife catches my attention. I stealthily walk over to the main nurses' station to wait for her to finish with her patient.

As I watch her clue up, I can't help but notice the smile she gives her patient doesn't reach her eyes, I also notice a slight twitch in the corner of her mouth. This smile isn't even close to genuine, it may fool her patient and their parents but it doesn't fool me for a second.

That smile only increases my fear that Santana isn't Santana any more; she's becoming a person who isn't the love of my life, just a hard shell of who she used to be.

"Brittany, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be going to work" Santana raises her eyebrow slightly in curiosity.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" I put my hand on her arm, trying my best to keep professional.

"Yeah sure, fire away." The false perkiness in her voice creates an unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Can we go to your office? I don't want to talk about this here." I scan the room trying to show her that this is obviously not the best place to do this.

"Okay." She continues to look confused and I don't blame her. "Follow me." She tries to keep it professional, even more than usual.

I follow Santana into her office down the hall. Her office is filled with colourful drawings done by her patients and our own kids. Her desk was a sheet of glass covering almost a hundred photos of our family. Santana takes a seat at her desk, propping her feet up on it.

"As I said earlier, fire away, Brittany." Her tone is unusually firm, completely opposite than it was earlier. She's not putting up the act anymore.

I take the seat across from her. "There's something I need to tell you." My voice is surprisingly calm. Santana looks me in the eye and nods. "Artie, Artie Abrams, is working here at Mount Sinai."

Santana eyes widen as she takes her foot down from her desk. "Are you serious, Brittany? Or are you just pulling my leg, because if you are it's not really all that funny." There it is; the irritability and irrationality.

"Santana, this isn't something I'd joke about okay. He was in the locker room this morning and Puck told me he worked here now. I guess this is the hospital he left Lima for. Are you okay with this?" I lean in over her desk taking her hand in mind trying to make her more relaxed, more herself.

"Okay, I'm fine with it. It just caught me off guard that's all." Her face softens, all except for her eyes. Her eyes tell me she's lying through her teeth right now.

"Okay, good. Considering we're going to be seeing a lot more of him now I'm assuming, I just want you to be okay with this because I'm perfectly okay with it, he's changed and I personally think that we could all be friends if we wanted to be. What'd you think?"

"I think that that wouldn't be the worst thing in the world." Santana gives me a small smile now, I know that it's forced but I take what I can get, for now.

"Now that's my girl, I'll see you at home okay?" I give her a fake goofy grin before leaning in to give her a quick kiss and a wink before heading towards the door. As I open the door I can't help but genuinely smile as I hear Santana call out from behind me.

"Mrs. Lopez?" I turn around to find Santana wearing a full blown smile on her face, this one to my surprise is authentic. "I love you."

* * *

Surprisingly enough yesterday had gone fairly smooth after Santana came home. I was thankful today was a Saturday so I got to spend lunch with the New Directions/Mount Sinai crew. I had run over to Santana's favourite diner to get lunch for her and I to bring back to the hospital. I admit that I was somewhat trying to butter her up, I was trying to get her back to her normal self because the mood swings she's been having, especially the one she had in her office yesterday morning, has gotten me extremely worried.

Sitting patiently, more like impatiently, at our usual lunch table with Puck and Quinn waiting for Santana to come down for lunch I'm faced with the inevitable catalyst, also known as Artie Abrams. At first he doesn't notice me.

I watch her out of the corner of my eye as I pretend to be paying attention to some story Puck was telling about something a buddy of his had done in college. A petite red head hands him a brown paper bag, as she does I notice the matching ring on her finger. "This must be the one who changed him." I half-guiltily turn my attention back to Puck as Artie gives the woman I've assumed is his wife a loving look that I also assumed was for her eyes only.

"So Matt threw the whole thing into the mini-fridge, it was so fricking hilarious." Puck almost chokes on air as he laughs heartily.

I laugh as if I was listening the entire time trying to be discrete. As I stop laughing I notice Santana has entered the cafeteria. She has also realized that Artie is sat at the opposite entrance to the cafeteria. The fake smile on her face falters slightly for a moment before she begins to walk towards our table.

I lift up the paper bag that was in my lap, placing it on the table between mine and Santana's usual seat. "I brought us lunch." I give her a genuine smile hoping it provoke one from her as well as she sits down next to me.

It seems to have worked because as she takes her seat she smirks, "Extra cheese, no mayo, no ketchup?"

"Of course, you're the only person I know who doesn't like ketchup and Mayo, it's not something I could forget." I chuckle as she quickly rips open the paper bag, her chocolate brown eyes lighting up like one of her long term patients who has been told they can go home for their birthday.

My mind begins to travel back years before the current scene in front of me at the sight of the smile on Santana's face.

* * *

**Santana practically prances into the kitchen, a wide smile plastered across her face. She gives me a quick kiss on the cheek while I take the cheese out of the fridge to go on the fajitas I was making for supper. Before I know it she rushes over to Lily who was sitting in her high chair playing with her favorite toy of the week. **

"**Why are you so cheery? You just got home from a sixteen hour shift and you're pretty much bouncing around like a bunny rabbit." I ask as I scrounge around the kitchen looking for the cheese grater. **

"**Well since you asked," she pauses as she picks up Lily and pulls herself up on the counter carefully. "I have had a great day. I had three surgeries today that could not have gone more routine and I got to send one of my long term patients home today." **

**She pauses at the shocked look on my face, "No, I didn't mean in that way, you know me better than that, I'd never be smiling after that. I got to send Harris home today, I'm fairly sure his parents are going to be glad they'll never have to see me ever again." **

**I can't help but throw her a displeased look with a frown as she continues. "And last, and definitely not least, it's my baby's birthday!" Santana all but yells, careful not to burst any baby ear drums. **

**I try to stifle my chuckle but it's inevitable. "I thought you didn't like birthdays, 'don't like them, don't celebrate them, they're just like any other day' remember?" There's no doubt in my mind that she remembers, she always said it but always got me something for me on mine anyhow. It was a complete nightmare when we had first gotten together and I had bought her something for her birthday. She put up quite a fight but eventually she did open it.**

"**This," She says with a giggle as leans over slightly, smelling Lily's raven black hair. "This is different. This is our child's birthday we're talking about here. We're going to bring her to the park after supper and knowing you, you probably already have made her a cake with no eggs. Am I right?" She has clearly decided to make the best of a day that could have ultimately been our worst day every by trying to make me forget about how Lily managed to come into the world. I can't even imagine what I would have been like if I had been in her position that day. But thankfully everything worked out, and here we are; a family.**

**Santana gives me breathtaking smile that I can't help but love. This woman next to me has given me everything I've ever wanted, everything I need, and so much more. She knows me better than I know myself. I can't help but love every single part of her, she's breathtakingly beautiful inside and out.**

"**Of course, you're right." I place the cheese grater down on the counter before stepping in front of my wife and daughter. I place a kiss on the top of Lily head before leaning in carefully placing my forehead against Santana's. "I love you." **

**The smile that was on Santana's face grows even wider, "I love you too, Brittany. Forever."**

**Right now in this moment I can't help but think that if life didn't get any better than this I'd be more than utterly satisfied.**

* * *

"Britt, aren't you going to have some?" Santana's voice retrieves me from my memories.

"Don't mind if I do." I chuckle.

Santana swiftly picks up one of her fries and holds it out in front of my face for me to eat. I immediately oblige taking it into my mouth like a dog that has been offered a bone.

"I still can't get over how you two still get on like two love sick teenagers." Puck says with a chuckle. He goes to continue but a disgruntled look filled with pain from what I can only assume is Quinn or possibly even Santana at this point, stomping on his foot.

"I'll take that as a compliment, Noah." I say with a smirk. He says nothing more, only continuing to sulkily eat his sandwich.

"Was that you?" I whisper softly enough for it to be only detectable to Santana's ears.

By the look on her face I can tell that yes, yes it was her. There is a smirk on her face that goes from ear to ear, making me turn to goo.

It's the moments like these that make it so hard. I hold on to them hoping that the change in her mood will be permanent and she'll return to being the woman I fell in love with, the woman I married, the mother of my children; I hold on tight and can't let go, no matter how much my head is screaming at me to face reality, even when I know I should, I just can't let go.


	8. Seven

I've decided to double up some chapters to make quicken the progress of the story. For this reason the story with be updated on **Sundays** and **Wedne****sdays**; barring any complications from my schedule for work. This chapter written from Brittany's, **Santana's **and _Lily's _perspectives. There are flashbacks in this chapter that are unmarked in Brittany's section but separated from current events. Sorry for any confusion, but y'all are smart so I don't think you need to worry to much. Hope you enjoy!

Seven. No One  
"When the rain is pouring down and my heart is hurting,  
You will always be around, this I know for certain."  
- No One, Alicia Keys.

The new week had slowly pressed on and once again it was Saturday. The interaction between Santana and I was minimal after I had brought Santana lunch that one afternoon. The genuine smile that had once graced her face had disappeared. She had swiftly left saying she needed to prepare for a surgery she had later that day as often as the excuse allowed, trying to avoid me.

Today I had spent ten straight minutes staring at the OR board after spending lunch with Santana like I do every Saturday. My attention focused on one slot in particular. Artie was on a ped's case and had a surgery with Santana. It wasn't the thought of Artie and Santana working together that bothered me. It was the fact that I learnt it from the OR board rather than Santana herself.

I must have looked like an idiot just standing there staring at the board not writing, not erasing, just staring. Eventually I left the hospital, only now returning to bring Santana home.

I am sitting down on the bench in front of her locker in the attending's locker room. My gaze is transfixed on the photos plastering her locker door, specifically one photo.

* * *

"See I told you I could prove you wrong." She says, giving me a goofy grin as I take a seat next to her on the gigantic beach towel.

"Prove what wrong?" I can't help but raise an eyebrow as she pulls her sunglasses down farther on her nose to reveal her brown eyes.

"That we'd be able to go to Spain, with or without a baby crying." I can help but chuckle as a look of realization crosses her face. I had wanted to visit Spain after seeing one of those travel shows all about the country.

"Well I guess you were right, unfortunately I don't get my sangria." I give her a classic puppy pout before bursting out into giggles.

"Well, we'll have to come back again. We have our whole life ahead of us. And then you have your sangria, you goof. Well we can get you some non-alcoholic sangria if you want." She says. I move closer to her on the towel, putting my arm behind her.

"Uh uh, I don't want non-alcoholic sangria." I answer as she leans back against my shoulder.

"Well what do you want then?" I take the sunglasses off her face so I can see every little detail of her face before I answer her.

I turn my head so that I'm looking her straight in the eye. "To spend the rest of my life with you with our baby crying in the background because they want you to sing them to sleep."

* * *

After that moment Santana had wiped out her camera I had given her for first birthday we were together.

"You ready to go?" Santana's voice echoes through the locker room as she pokes her head around the bank of locker's waiting for me to get up.

"I'm ready." I give her the best reassuring smile I can.

"Alright, let's go." She swiftly exits the locker room without another word.

I grab Santana's bag from her locker. As the door shuts behind her I look back at the photo of Santana and I from our trip to Spain. I pull the photo off the locker door, carefully folding it in half. I place my one piece of hope into my jacket pocket. Standing up, I shut her locker door behind me, fully knowing that I've got to hold on to this piece of hope for as long as I can because somehow I'll get my Santana, the love of my life, the perky and absolutely breathtaking person in this photograph back. I may not know when, or how for that matter, but I do know that some way I will get her back.

* * *

"Mami!" Lily suddenly rushes into the front porch and begins to almost drag Santana into the kitchen.

"Lils, what are you doing?" Santana looks back at me with a look of utter confusion and almost terror on her face.

I hastily follow them into the kitchen and am taken completely surprise. "Penny, what are you doing here?" I rush over and give my eldest niece a hug.

"Well," Penny gives me a classic Lopez smirk but is unable to say anything more as she is interrupted by Lily who is practically jumping up and down in excitement. I haven't seen her this excited since her sixteenth birthday.

* * *

"Are you serious? Mom, Mami, you're kidding me right?" Lily looks as if she's going to wet herself she's that excited like one of my kindergarteners.

"Yes, Lily, we're serious." I giggle as I reply, wrapping my arms around Santana's waist.

I can't help but chuckle; I could remember the look on Santana's face when her father had given her the same gift for her birthday, only a few details were different. The baby blue T-bird that Santana and I had decided to give to Lily for her 16th birthday had once been hers. She had received it as a gift from her father for getting into medical school and that day also happened to have been her birthday. When she got her she wasn't even close to being as in good shape. Over the next few years I had fixed it up so it was practically brand new; my previous experience with motocross had peaked my interest in cars and soon after I began university I became interested in cars.

"Now, don't ever make me regret giving you my car. This car was like my first child okay? No making out in the back seat, don't forget to check the oil," Her speech is cut of as Lily launches herself towards Santana.

"Always make sure you have an extra gas tank in the trunk, I know. Thank you so much." Lily gives her a kiss on the cheek before letting go and pulling me into a bone breaking, windpipe closing hug. "You two are the best parents ever!"

Santana looks over at me giving me a classic smile. "You're welcome sweetie."

* * *

"I was in my Algebra class finishing up some of my work and Mr. Jansen said we had a new student. And what do you know, I look up to find Penny standing there looking down at me." Lily finishes.

"That doesn't really explain what Penny is doing here sweetheart." I reply as Penny lets go and walks over towards Santana and gives her a hug.

"Dad got transferred to New York. Mom wanted a change of scenery, she was tired of the Midwest and wanted to live in the city again. She figured we were all old enough to be able to handle the city. Though I think Jonah's going to be more of a handful here." Penny says with a laugh.

"Is Aunt Reyna here?" I ask Nik who has just strolled into the kitchen to see what all the excitement was about.

"Uh, yeah. She, Penny, and Jude showed up about an hour ago. Lily made everyone lasagne, we were waiting for you two to get home until we started. We're all starving so you all hurry up, please?" Nik chuckles deeply before he gives me a small smirk before exiting the kitchen.

"Where's my little sister?" Reyna pops her head into the kitchen doorway and a genuine smile spreads across Santana's face for the first time since last Saturday afternoon. Reyna stands fully in the doorway as Santana runs over to her jumping into her open arms. "I've missed you little sis." Reyna pulls Santana into the best bear hug she could give her with her small stature. Over the years, Reyna became the big sister Santana had always wanted her to be.

"Right back at you." Santana laughs as Reyna lets go of her. "So where are David and my slightly rowdy nephew?"

"We put the Jonah in swimming lessons to try and help him make friends easier so they're over at the Y now. You'll see them the weekend I'm sure, Santana. But right now I'm starved so can we get some of that delicious lasagne your daughter made because the smell of it is almost enough to make me drool." Reyna chuckles.

"I think that you have a point. Lily, did you use Mom's lasagne recipe?" Santana turns around giving Lily a smirk. Apparently my lasagne was to die for but I didn't have a written recipe until about three years ago when Lily decided she was going to take the time to write out everything I was doing.

"Yes, Mami, I did. I'm just as hungry as Aunt Rey so can we just eat now, talk later?" Lily laughs.

"Sure, sweetie, let's get some of that delicious lasagne." Santana wraps her arm around Lily and Penny's shoulders and usher them into the dining room.

Reyna turns around to begin to enter the dining room. "Reyna," She puts one foot in front of the other. "Rey!" I hiss trying to grab her attention.

She does a complete one-eighty on her heels before stepping back into the room swiftly, "What's with the secrecy, Britt?" Reyna smirks as she leans back against the counter.

"I need to talk to you after supper," Her face changes, the smirk disappearing and being replaced with a look of seriousness. "It's about Santana."

* * *

"Hey Rey would you mind coming out to the garage there's been something I've been trying to fix on the old Charger and I'd like a hand if you don't mind." I knew that someday that my bond with Reyna over the both of us being grease monkeys (and gaming nerds) would useful for something other than actually fixing cars.

"Not a problem, Britt. I'll meet you in the garage after we clear up." Reyna gives me an assuring smile.

"You're a guest, well today you are at least, and therefore you're not doing any cleaning up around here. Go on out into the garage with Britt, we'll take care of the dishes right, Lina?" Santana says as she takes the plates from Reyna's hands.

"Right." Lina says. I don't even need to look at her to know there's a smile on her face. Lina never complained about helping with the dishes, it was definitely one of the things she never got from me. I was perfectly fine with doing the cooking but when it came to the dishes I had always left it to Santana and Lina had quickly joined that wagon growing up.

"Fine, you won't get any protest from me." Reyna chuckles as she receives a playful slap on the arm from Santana as she exits into the kitchen. "Lead the way, dork."

Use to my sister-in-law's nickname usage, I nod before quickly heading to the back door leading out to the garage in the back yard. I was hoping that this was going to work. I had become close with Reyna over the years; I can still remember our first trip to Ohio after meeting her.

* * *

I was thankful that Santana's bedroom had its own connecting bathroom. I had loved this amenity at home in New York; growing up my room didn't have such a luxury. I never was happy about that considering incidents such as my sister walking in on Santana and I having our occasional morning shower together around a month after we had become an official couple; there was an interesting had afterwards, I don't think I've ever seen Santana more embarrassed into front of my parents.

I had just gotten out of the shower and was still only wearing a towel as I walk out of Santana's en suite. "San, where can I find the hair dryer? I forget where you used to put it"

Santana rolls over in bed, running her fingers through her messy raven hair as she turns to look at me. "It's in the cabinet next to the sink, the one with,"

"The music thingy painted on it." I cut her off realizing what she was about to say. "Thank you." I finish with a smile as I turn around to go back into the bathroom.

"But you don't need." Santana calls out causing me to retreat.

"Why?" I walk over to the bed as Santana scoots over slightly making enough room for me to sit on the edge of the bed. I take a seat next to Santana, putting my hands on either side of her.

"You just don't need it, okay?" Her caramel cheeks begin to blush at her words as she sits up, her face coming less than two inches from mine.

"Come on, just tell me." I grin.

"You always dry hair so that you can you can control it, but I think it looks just a beautiful when you let it dry on it's own, it gives it this hot surfer girl type look, it" Santana begins to ramble causing her to blush more.

I lean in and place my lips on hers for a moment in order to get her to stop. "Didn't I ever tell you that I used to surf when I'd visit my grandparents in Florida? And that you're extremely adorable when you ramble?" I say as I pull away.

I give her a smirk before placing my lips on her once again. I can feel Santana's breathing begin to change as we're surprisingly interrupted.

"We're all going to the lake, are you two coming?" Reyna opens the door but doesn't look inside until now. "Jesus!"

Santana quickly pulls away from me, a look of horror crosses her face. "Reyna!" As she attempts to get out of bed to what I'm assuming is kick her older sister's ass she managed to push me off the bed. As I fall I hold onto my towel for dear life, praying I don't flash my sister-in-law.

"Sorry!" and the slam of Santana's bedroom door is all I hear before Santana continues to follow her sister out of her room yelling as she goes. "Reyna Eleanor Lopez Harrison! You're going to pay! Didn't Abuela teach you your manners, because she sure as hell taught me?"

As I pull myself up off the floor I can't help but chuckle. I loved it when she got mad, well at least when she wasn't being mad at me. There was just something about her tone when she yelled that I couldn't help but love. But something tells me that Santana's sister definitely did not agree with me on that point.

* * *

"This isn't about the ole' Charger here, is it?" Reyna says as she leans back against the old 1974 Dodge Charger I was currently working on.

"No, this has nothing to do this the car at all." I say taking a seat on a stool leaning back against the work bench. "This is about Santana. I need your advice, Rey."

"Fire away, Britt." She gives me a reassuring smile.

"Okay, you know how excited she got when she saw you?" I pause as Reyna nods in reply. "That is the longest consecutive amount of time she's been genuinely smiling, genuinely happy, since we've been home."

Reyna's smile dissipates. "She's changing isn't she? She's becoming the person she was after Abuela died isn't she?"

At her words tears are starting to form in my eyes. I hang my head slightly and nod. "She's not Santana anymore, I all have now are a few rare moments where she's happy and they only last for about thirty seconds and then she's gone. She's moody, irrational, and quiet. And that's only in front of me. In front of the kids and at work she's different. It's like she's trying to be her but failing miserably. She may be doing it to hide what she's feeling from the kids but they notice." The tears are now streaming down my face. I quickly bring my hand to my face wiping away the tears. "They look at me as if to ask what is wrong with her and I can't answer them. I, I can't." No matter how much I try and resist I begin to break down in front of my sister-in-law.

"Britt, it's okay." Reyna walks across the garage pulling me into a sisterly hug. "It'll work out."

As I pull away I protest. "No, Rey it's not going to work out. It's getting worse, every day it's getting worse. My ex, the only real ex I ever had, is now living in New York. We're becoming good friends again. Santana and I agreed that we'd all be friends. You know him, Dr. Abrams, Artie. Ever since he's come back Santana's starting to avoid me. I don't know what to do Reyna. I don't know what to do. I need you to tell me what to do."

Reyna places her hands on my shoulders, steadying me. "What is the first thing that you taught Santana; the first thing that changed your relationship?"

"It was, wait, that's definitely not what you're talking about." I chuckle before sniffling.

"That's my sister you're talking about there, Brittany." Reyna makes a face of half disgust half amusement. "So what was it? And it's not what you were just thinking about."

"To talk to me, to not hold things in until they explode like opening a bottle of shaken soda." I can't help my smile, chuckling to myself.

"There you go. So talk to her, Britt. It's the only way to fix this, and deep down you know that. You need to stop being afraid and just talk to her." Reyna gives me a look of reassurance. "Now, stop looking like you were just crying and talk to her. Bring her up stairs and leave the kids to me, I'll keep them downstairs."

"Thank Rey, I honestly don't know what I'd do if Santana and I didn't have you." I chuckle.

"Glad to hear it. Now go talk some sense into that little sister of mine." She chuckles as she gives me a pat on the back as she turns to leave. As she opens the garage door he turns around. "Britt?"

"Yeah, Reyna?"

"I'm glad she found you. You're exactly the type of person she needs. So thanks for being there for her." Reyna proceeds to head back to the house.

As the door shuts I can help but smile, "I'm glad she found me too, Rey."

* * *

**"Hey Britt, David just called and his car broke down so I won't be able to help you with the carburetor after all." My sister says to Brittany as she enters the living room.**

**I can't help but notice that Reyna walks closer to her as she enters the room, as if she's trying to hide herself from me. I see her lips begin to move but her words are too quiet for me to hear, I catch bits and pieces. "Just think tonight, think about what you want to tell her." and "Talk to her tomorrow, just don't go to bed angry."**

**My sister's words cause acid to churn in my stomach, the bile rise in my throat. My heart rate begins to quicken, my hands begin to become clammy.**

**"Thank for having us, little sis. I'm sure we'll see each again soon enough." Reyna quickly makes her way over to me pulling me into a quick hug. "Come on Penny, Jude, let's go get your father and brother before they start to panic." Reyna chuckles her classic hearty laugh before beginning to usher Penny and Jude out of the living room.**

**"I'll see you in school tomorrow." Penny says lively; she's clearly excited that she get to see her couin more often. Jude simply nods with a small smile before following his mother and sister.**

**As soon as they leave the room the fake smile I was wearing disappears from my face. The kids have followed Reyna out of the room so I don't need to put of my "smiley, cheery" façade.**

**Brittany gives me a small smile. "So how was your surgery on Benjamin today go?" She walks over to the couch taking a seat, patting the spot next to her.**

**I hate what I've done to her, I hate what we have become; I hate what I've done.**

**I hesitate before taking a seat next to Brittany. She props her feet up on the ottoman, wrapping her arm around my shoulder. I hesitate before leaning against her. "The surgery went well, there was a bit of bleeding but I got it under control no problem."**

**I can tell that she's asking about surgery because she doesn't want to do anything to trigger a change in me. The thought of her being careful in her words because she's afraid makes me feel even worse. The nausea starts to set in and my hand begins to shake.**

**I need get out of here or I'm going to do something I'll regret. I launch myself up off the couch. "I'm exhausted so I'm going to take a small nap. I'll see you when I wake up." I give her a fake smile and swiftly exit the room barely making it to the bathroom fast enough to empty the contents of my stomach into the toilet.**

**I need it to stop.**

* * *

"_Lily Lopez?" Mr. Edwards calls out my name during attendance._

"_Here." I stick up back hand, turning slightly in my seat._

"_Andrew Berry?"_

"_Here." In my peripheral vision I see my best friend practically since birth raises his hand in suit. _

_Mr. Edwards continues on with the nonsense roll call. I turn around to talk to Drew. "So have you heard much about the new kid?"_

_Drew and I weren't exactly outcasts but we weren't popular either. It had always been just the two of us, along with whoever strayed into our 'group' for a period of short time. At school the only constant things I ever had was Drew and my grades._

"_I haven't heard much to be honest." Drew begins his habit of scratching the back of his neck when he's nervous. "It's a girl, she's in our grade. She's not some preppy bitch by the sounds of it." _

_I now understand why he's nervous; Drew didn't exactly get Aunt Rach's confidence but once he got to know people he opened up._

"_Oh, now I see, I see. Let's just hope she's not as bad as them." I nod my head slightly to a group of my obnoxious classmate. "Just as long as she not as bad as them then I'll be fine."_

"_Agreed." is all Drew gets to say before being interrupted by Mr. Edwards. _

"_Okay class, get your notebooks out. We're going to start the next unit." Mr. Edwards gets up out of his seat and heads straight for the whiteboard. "Okay, we're starting off with the molecule structure of DNA." _

_He doesn't get anything else out as a knock on the door stops him in his tracks. He looks down at his watch. "Right on time." He says almost whispering as he walks over to open the door._

_As Mr. Edwards opens the door he reveals a girl I've never seen before. "Come in, there are a few empty seats in the back." He motions to the three empty seats next to Drew and I that have been empty all year. _

_He walks back towards the whiteboard, giving me and Drew a better look at the new girl. Her hair falling just below her shoulders into subtle copper red loose curls. _

"_I don't think we're going to have a problem with her, Lils." Drew leans forward and whispers into my ear. _

_I now take the time to fully take in her presence. She's wearing a form fitting classic Ramones t-shirt over a grey long sleeve t-shirt, black classic fit Levi's and slightly muddy teal Chuck Taylors._

"_I'd have to agree with you on that, Berry." I chuckle. "Stop drooling, I'm not even looking at you and I can tell you're drooling." _

"_Hey! I'm not drooling." He slaps me slightly on the shoulder jokingly._

"_Sure, you keep telling yourself that." I can't help but try and stifle my laughter._

"_Sure, Lily, I'm sure that you've drooled over a certain someone." Drew chuckles. "But I'll let it go, and for the record I wasn't drooling."_

* * *

"_Um do mind if I sit here?" The new girl from my biology class approaches our lunch table. During lunch I sat with Drew and Penny leaving one empty seat._

_I give Drew and Pennyy a quick glance to see their reaction. They were giving me reassuring smiles. "Sure, not a problem." I give the redhead a small smile before taking a bite out of my chicken wrap, chewing quickly in order to be able to speak again. "I'm Lily Lopez" I say taking another bite of my lunch._

"_I'm JJ, by the way." She says as she lays her tray down on the table. "Great, I just rhymed that unintentionally, way to make a good impression, J." She laughs shaking her head._

"_Don't worry about it." Penny says with a laugh. "I'm Penny Harrison, you're not the only one who's new around here. I moved here last week." _

"_That is code for if you're going to be asking for directions don't ask her because she's just going to get you lost. I'm Drew Berry. I'm in your biology class." He sticks out his hand for a traditional handshake._

"_I'm assuming you get a lot of Drew Barrymore jokes." She lets out a small laugh causing him to blush slightly. "But thanks I'll keep that in mind." She laughs again as she shakes Drew's hand before taking a bite of her classic red apple. _

"_Yeah, that's what happens when your parents decide to name you after Andrew Lloyd Webber because they saw Phantom of The Opera on their first date and my mother is a complete Broadway fanatic. Growing up guys used to ask me how I could get such good grades if I spent all my time making crappy romantic comedies. At least they were smart enough to know who Drew Barrymore was."_

"_I know the feeling. My full name is Jaina Jade. My dad is a huge Star Wars fan so he named me after Princess Leia and Han Solo's daughter. But that's classified information that never leaves this table okay? From experience I know not everybody appreciates the Abrams family enthusiasm for all things Star Wars." She looks across the table to each one of our faces for a look of understanding._

_Drew raises his right hand. "Scout's honour." We all can't help but at hiss juvenile moment. _

"_Swear to the force." I say, giving her a shy smile that she quickly returns before speaking again._

"_Quick question, it's probably a stupid one but I'm going to ask it none the less." _

"_Shoot." Penny quickly assures her._

"_Is it always so damn wet around here? Not to sound prissy but it's my shoes extremely muddy and it's rotting me." JJ shakes her head before tucking a piece of hair behind her ear._

"_Sorry to tell you JJ but it is as you say 'so damn wet' around here sixty percent of the time, twenty percent with just overcast, and the other twenty percent is the lovely thing people from areas like Hawaii and Florida call sunshine at this time of year." I say 'matter of factly. _

_JJ hangs her head slightly. "You'd think with the proximity of you guys have to the Hamptons and the Jersey Shore you'd have great weather but nope you have a lot more rain making everything muddy as I don't know what." She laughs._

"_It gets better in the summer, and it's nice in the winter with all the snow." Drew says, he takes his New York very seriously._

"_Well join the club, I'm not much of fan of rain or mud but I'm adjusting. It's slow but I'm getting used to it. Soon enough we'll be just like these two, rain loving New Yorkers." Penny says pointing her thumb at Drew and I with a laugh. _

"_Let's hope, Penny, let's hope." JJ throws her head back in laughter. _

"_To NYC." Penny holds up her can of apple juice taking a large swig._

"_I'm with you on this one, Pen. To New York." I hold up my own apple juice and follow suit. _

_Sitting here with Drew, Penny, and JJ somehow made me feel that things were getting better, even if this was only one aspect of my life that was returning to normal I couldn't help but feel grateful._

* * *

_The rest of the day went fairly fast and was actually the first school day since we've returned from Lima I've enjoyed. _

_It turns out JJ, Penny, and I all had the last two classes together. Drew was in our last class of the day with us as well. But he was off in his own little word; between staring at Penny and actually paying attention to Mr. Hutchins who was rambling on about the chemical properties of carbon going completely off the class' current topic._

"_What was with you in chem class last period?" I ask Drew as I open the door of my baby blue T-bird, the slight rain beginning to wet my hair._

"_Nothing, you know that I like chemistry. I thought that after a semester school you'd have noticed that. And the properties of carbon are pretty damn interesting." Drew says almost defensively as he takes his seat as shot gun._

"_That's not what I meant, Andrew." I use his full name to let him know I'm serious as I sit in the car pulling the door shut behind me._

"_Nik's taking Tommy, Lina, and Maria home right?" I can tell that Drew knows what I'm actually talking about considering he's changing the subject; it's a typical Aunt Quinn move, she's done it so many times over the years when me, Drew and the rest of our 'family' asked awkward or inaproppriate questions such as the one time Lina and Maria asked her where babies came from._

"_Drew, don't try and change the subject, but yes Nik's taking your beloved baby sister home. Come on, what is up with you having a hard time keeping your eyes off of my cousin?" I raise my eyebrow_

"_Don't look at me like that. You look like Aunt Santana when you do that." Drew laughs. _

_I hit him jokingly. "Well Andrew Berry you look like your mother just spit you out so you haven't got much room to talk. And again you're changing the subject."_

"_Fine, I'll admit it. I think she's cute, stop making such a big deal out of this." I can see the blush slowly beginning to rise in his cheeks._

"_Well, I think that it's cute. So I'm not going to make a big deal out of this but can I ask you one question?" I turn the keys in the ignition before turning my head to look him in the eye._

"_Bring it on, Lopez." Drew throws his military messenger bag back over the seat, landing on the back seat._

"_Are you actually going to do anything about you thinking she's cute or are you just going to continue with the longing glances and never ask her out?" _

"_I don't know, Lily. Now can I ask you a question?" _

"_Whatever, Drew." I put my classic red curtain colored JanSport backpack on the back seat next to Drew's bag._

"_Is that JJ?" _

_Drew points to an average height hooded figure. I notice a small amount of red hair from under the hood and the teal converse shoes she was wearing._

"_I'm pretty sure that's her." I can't help but notice that the slight rain from earlier has turned into something pretty close to a down pour. _

"_Do you think we should ask her if she wants a ride? She's getting sogged out there."_

"_I think we should." I start the car and check for traffic before pulling up to the curb in front of JJ. I roll down my window, giving her a smile. "Hey there, Abrams! Want a ride?"_

_JJ snaps out of her daydream-like state. "You have no idea!" She yells over sound of the rain. _

_As JJ opens the back door I pull my book bag to the other side of the seat atop of Drew's, making enough room for her to sit in. "How come you were standing out in the rain, making yourself look like a wet dog, Jay?" Drew laughs as JJ shuts the door behind her._

"_My dad must have got called into work and forgot to call me to tell me to catch the bus. He can be slightly forgetful when it comes to these things. He probably called my brother who forgot to tell me, more thank likely." JJ laughs as she throws back her hood._

"_So where we headed?" I chuckle. _

"_I don't know if you know the place but," JJ pauses for a second to buckle her seat belt. "Mount Sinai."_

* * *

"_Here it is, the legendary Mount Sinai Hospital." I say with a laugh as I pull into the hospital. _

"_Woah, it's a lot bigger and nicer than I expected." I can see the look of what I'd classify as awe on JJ's face in the rear view mirror as I shut off the car. "Why are you shutting off the car?" She asks with a chuckle._

"_I decided to visit our parent's since we're here." I say smiling._

"_Well I'm glad that you guys can help me out so I don't get lost." JJ puts up her hood with a small smirk before opening up the car door and running out into the rain._

"_Come on, Drew. We better not let her get lost." I chuckle before following JJ, Drew into the shelter from the storm that is Mount Sinai. _

"_So where are we headed?" Drew asks JJ as we shake off the rain. _

"_I thought you were the one who knew your way around here?" She chuckles, raising her eyebrow._

"_That's not what I meant, JJ. I meant what wing. Derm, OB, what?"_

"_Surgical."_

"_Seriously?" _

"_Seriously, my dad's a surgeon." _

"_Join the club. Our parents are surgeons as well." I smirk._

"_In that case, lead the way."_

"_Hey JJ, I'm going to see if my mother knows where your dad is." I say as we enter the surgical wing. _

"_Alright, my dad's Dr. Artie Abrams."_

"_Got it." I say, noticing my mother standing at the nurses' station checking over a chart. "Hey Ma."_

"_Lily?" My mother's raven curls bounce slightly as she looks up from her chart. "Mija, what are you doing here?"_

"_Drew and I are dropping off a friend from school." I nod in the direction of Drew and JJ. "You wouldn't happen to know who and where Dr. Abrams is would you?" _

"_I'm right here." A firm yet calm voice answers from behind me. _

_As the voice speaks I can help but the smile on my mother's face falters. My stomach is beginning churn. Something is going on. I may not know what it is but there's a reason why my mother, the cheeriest person I know which includes my sister who is almost exactly like her, has a fake smile on her face; a fake smile that falters at the sound of my friend's father._

"_Artie" My mother's voice is quiet and the sort of calm that puts people on their guard, scares them even._

"_Santana."_

* * *

*Author's Note: I am aware of the writer and producer JJ Abrams but JJ's name is just a coincidence I noticed after I had finished this chapter and I truly didn't want to change it; she is clearly not named after him, as seen in this chapter. Just thought y'all would ask about that so I figured I'd tune you in here. Thanks again for reading! (:


	9. Eight

Early update for you guys as tomorrow for me will be spent studying my ass off! Hope you enjoy! There is a lot more Brittany and Santana as a couple in this chapter which I think you all will be happy about. So without any further ado, this chapter is written from Santana's, **Brittany's,** and _Lily's _perspective.

Eight. The Other Side of the Door  
"I said leave, but all I really want is you…  
Cause all I need is on the other side of the door."  
- The Other Side of the Door, Taylor Swift

Walking down the hall before turning the corner to go to the nurses' station it was bells and whistles start going off in my head. Alarms telling me I was about to walk into the middle of a battle field. I'm surprised as my daughter approaches me. "Hey Ma."

"Lily?" My mother's raven curls bounce slightly as she looks up from her chart. "What are you doing here?"

"Drew and I are dropping off a friend from school." I nod in the direction of Drew and JJ. "You wouldn't happen to know who and where Dr. Abrams is would you?"

"I'm right here." A firm yet calm voice answers from behind me.

Lily is practically staring at Artie Abrams. I can't help but flinch slightly. It doesn't help the fact that Andrew Berry was standing behind them looking down the hall towards the ER with a teenage girl that resembled a woman I had seen dropping Artie off at the hospital last week. I can tell that this is not going to be exactly what could be considered pleasant.

"JJ!" Lily quickly turns around as she raises her voice slightly.

The redheaded girl and Drew both turn around. "Hey Dad." The redhead swiftly walks over and stands next to Artie. "Do you have a surgery scheduled for now?"

"I forgot didn't I?" Artie smirks slightly and shakes his head.

"Yes, you did forget, it's not a big deal, at least now I know where you work, right?"

"I'm sorry honey. And I'm being rude, this is Dr. Lopez." Artie chuckles as he motions from me to his daughter. "This is my daughter, JJ"

"It looks like you've already met my daughter, this is Lil." I say with a smile. "Lily, this is Artie Abrams you remember Dr. Abrams don't you?"

Artie had shown up at my father in law's funeral to show his respects for a few moments. He had approached me to say his goodbye for a moment before leaving. Lily had been standing next to me.

"I believe I do." Lily says with a small smile.

"And this," I motion to Drew who is beginning to approach us.

Artie turns his head around to take a glance. "You must be a Berry. You look so much like Rachel."

"Yeah, I am." I can notice the slight blush beginning to cross Drew's face. He was almost the complete opposite of his sister. Maria would own up to the Berry name and boast slightly, she was good kid but he was a lot like 'highschool diva' Rachel even if she was Quinn's biologically. "Andrew, Andrew Berry." Drew sticks his hand out to shake Artie's hand.

"Nice to meet you, Andrew." Artie smiles, shaking his hand. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to call your Mom now." Artie puts her hand on JJ's arms for a moment before rolling down the hall slightly and taking out his cell phone.

"How are you liking New York, JJ? Too many people for you?" I say with a small forced smile. I can feel myself loosen up, relaxing muscles I didn't notice I had been tightening until now.

"Nope I'm a city girl at heart but I'm not too pleased with the rain thing, but I'm starting to like it here a whole lot more." JJ smiles, I can't help but notice she subtly looks over at Lily after she finishes her sentence.

"Well that's good, I can remember hating the rain we first moved here but you grow to love it." I chuckle slightly.

"Would you guys mind giving JJ here a tour of the hospital," Artie rolls back over, leaning on the arm of his chair holding his pager. "I just got called into surgery and Maggie won't be here for another half an hour. I'm sure Lily and Andrew know this place just as well as you do, Santana" Artie chuckles.

Lily quickly responds. "Not a problem. We'll show 'er around, right Drew?"

"Sounds good." Drew nods along with his answer.

"I told Maggie you'd meet her in the cafeteria. I've got to run. Nice to meet you Lily, Drew." Artie flashes a quick smile before disappearing behind a corner into the next hallway.

As if on cue my pager begins to go off. "As much as I would love to stay with you guys I've got to go. You two better start the tour or you're going to be in the middle of the hospital when JJ's mom is going to be in the cafeteria waiting on you all. "I say with a smile. "I might see you guys later. It was nice to meet you, JJ."

* * *

_Mami gives me a reassuring smile before she glides around the corner in a typical 'Queen of Peds' fashion. _

_I can't help but chuckle at the look that has now formed on JJ's face. "Did she just?" _

"_Yes, yes she did." Drew finally speaks. _

"_How?" _

"_She wears Heelys." I can't help but butt in. _

"_Nice, I like your mom. She seems pretty awesome." _

"_Did you just say awesome?" I can't help but ask._

"_Uhm, yes." JJ looks at me as if to ask what she did._

"_That's kind of my Ma's thing. She says awesome, and super for that matter, a lot. And I mean a lot." I can't help but chuckle._

"_Oh, you had me a tad bit scared there for a second. I had no idea what I said." JJ laughs slightly nervously._

_"No worries. Let's get a move on though, don't want us to be late and make a bad impression with your mother, right Drew?"_

_"Right. Come on JJ, there's an awesome view of the city right outside this hall." He says before heading down the hall._

_"Lead the way." She says before following him. "Come on Lily." She grabs my hand and begins to lead me all with her._

_I don't protest, I simply smile and follow._

* * *

"_This place is a lot bigger than the last hospital my dad worked at, a lot bigger." JJ's voice is filled with enthusiasm and her eyes slightly widened in awe._

"_Where did she work before?" Drew asks as we make our way across the walk way from the surgical wing to the cafeteria giving us a great view of the overcast sky of New York._

"_Lima Memorial, it's in Ohio." As Jess speaks I can feel the blood rush from my face, making me become paler than usual. _

_I can hear the blood begin to pound in my ears and feel the tears forming in my eyes. "I've got to go check on something. I'll meet you guys in the cafeteria." _

_I begin to walk away quickly. "Lily." Drew tries to grab my hand but I manage to pull away in time. Almost involuntarily I begin to run away, in the opposite direction we had been heading down the walk way. "Lily!" Drew's voice calling me, almost begging me to stop doesn't affect me at all. I keep putting one foot in front of the other, never looking back._

_As I pass through the doors to the surgical wing I slow down enough to not draw attention to myself. I instantaneously regret my choice of running back to the surgical wing at the sight my mother's black hair at the end of the hall. I'm praying she didn't notice me. _

"_Who are you kidding, Lily?" I say under my breath as I swiftly make my way into the public washroom._

_Entering the washroom I come face to face with the large mirror that spread the entire length of the counter. I've unfortunately inherited my mother's bodily reaction to crying. My russet brown eyes are slightly bloodshot and are starting to get puffy. My mascara and eyeliner has caused faintly blackened tear streams to form on my face. I quickly splash water on my face before locking myself in a stall because I know that if my mother had seen me she would be here any second._

_As I slide down the wall of the stall, making my way to sit on the floor I hear the creak of the washroom door opening. I sniff as the crying I've been trying to contain becomes inevitable._

"_Mija?" My mother's voice fills the room as the door shuts behind her. "Lilypad?"_

_I can hear her footsteps getting closer; one step, another step, another step, and another. I can see her running shoes from under the stall door. I close my eyes hoping it will make my presence in this room disappear. _

"_Lily Quinn Lopez do not make my have to climb over this stall, because I will. You know I will." Even without being able to see her I can tell my mother now has her hand in her hair, leaning more of her right foot._

_I lift my hand away from my face and reluctantly unlock the stall door._

_Opening the door reveals my mother's soft expression that seems slightly out of place, it seems like an expression that would my other mother's face. This is an expression I haven't seen from Mami lately._

_She squats down, tying her hair up in a messy ponytail. "What's wrong, Lily?" She places her hand on my cheek, beginning to wipe away the tears from my face.'_

"_He was there wasn't he?" They are the only words that can come out of my mouth. I don't know how to explain it any other way._

"_Sweetie," My mother sighs before moving close to me, wrapping her arm around my shoulder; her hand brushing the hair out of my face._

"_Just tell me." I look up at her, the tears blurring my vision._

"_Yes, sweetie he was there." I can feel her running her fingers through my hair just like she did when I was a little girl. "He was there and he did everything he could to help save your Abuelo but there was nothing he could have done, nothing I could have, nothing anybody could have. It was simply his time to go, honey." _

"_It's, it's," I try and reply but the sobbing begins to take over my body._

"_I know I know it's hard but you've got to push through it okay. It get's better." She gives me a small smile before kissing the top of my head. _

"_It's been three weeks, but he's gone, he's just gone." I sniff. "It's just not." I take a deep breath unable to finish my sentence._

"_You know that I'm always here for you, me and your mom are always here if you need to talk okay?" I can hear her sniff before continuing. "You're always going to be my Lilypad."_

"_Thank you, Mami." They are the only words that come out of my mouth; they are the only words I can use to express how much I love her and how much I'm thankful for her and Mom._

* * *

After cleaning Lily up a tad bit, I decided I'd go with her to the cafeteria. By the look on her face when I first suggested it she was about to protest but pulled out at the last moment.

"Do you think they'll still be there?" Lily's voice is slightly shaky but I can sense how hard she is trying to stay strong.

"If I know Drew, and I'm infinite percent sure I do, he's not going away but the cafeteria. And also by the looks of it so far JJ doesn't seem like the type of person to run off before seeing if you're okay." I say pushing open the door to the cafeteria.

As we pass the coffee cart I notice Drew sitting with two redheads who were back on to us. Drew noticed us and raises his hand to motion us to come sit down with them.

I glance to my right to see Lily smile slightly at him. "You don't have to come with me you know." She said, almost whispering.

"Its okay, Lils. Plus it's just as well for me to meet JJ's mom now because you guys seem like you're going to be good friends." I answer with a small smile.

She doesn't reply as we continue to approach the table. I notice an exchange of glances between Lily and Drew as I take a seat next to him and the woman I've assumed is JJ's mother.

"Sorry about earlier," Lily is the first to speak. "I,"

She doesn't get the chance to finish her sentence as JJ interrupts. "No need to explain, you haven't known me very long so you're entitled to your own privacy." She chuckles faintly before giving Lily a soft smile.

"Thanks." I can see the faint blush on Lily's cheeks as she speaks.

"This is my mom, Maggie, by the way." I now take notice of the woman sitting next to me. She turns her head to face me, revealing her emerald green eyes and a welcoming smile. "Lily's mom knows Dad." JJ' says in Maggie's direction.

"It's Santana right?" She holds her hand out for me to shake as I nod in reply." I've seen pictures from Artie's yearbooks. You haven't changed a bit." She gives me a smile and I can tell that she obviously isn't uncomfortable around me.

"You went to high school together, Mami?" The curiosity in my daughter's voice is evident.

"Yes, me and Mom." I answer her before addressing Artie's wife. "How are you adjusting to The Big Apple?" I ask trying to make conversation.

"I grew up in New York actually, and was a scrub nurse here at Mount Sinai for a little while. I think you were a second year resident when I was here if I remember correctly."

I try and scan my memory to remember her. "Maggie," I pause for a moment, "You're Maggie Allaway, aren't you? The scrub nurse who stayed with the teenager who had the plague after all the doctor's left because they didn't want to get sick."

"That's her alright." JJ smiles widely as she answers proudly before Maggie even gets a chance to speak.

"I remember that case, I remember the attending on duty told me to set his shoulder because he had lost consciousness and fell down the stairs." I can remember the look on his face when the bones set back into place; it was the first shoulder I had set without a senior resident or attending looking over my own shoulder. I wasn't a regular surgery resident but that day had been all hands on deck.

"You were the resident who made that really macho guy who refused painkillers wet himself because you told him he was being an idiot in less appropriate words, weren't you?" Maggie is trying to contain her laughter.

I can't help but laugh at the memory, "Yes that was me!" I say between laughs.

It is only as I look over to Lily who was laughing do I realize what I've done; carrying on with a woman I barely even know when my own wife can barely get me to crack a smile. As if on cue Brittany, clearly bringing my dinner, walks into the cafeteria with a confused expression on her face causes a knot to form in my stomach. Her confusion filled eyes meet my own for only a moment before I've ran away from the table.

* * *

**After witnessing Santana's exit I quickly approach my daughter. "Lils, can you hold on to Ma's lunch for me. I'll be back." I place the brown paper bag on the table in front of her.**

"**Sure, Mom." Lily nods almost hesitantly.**

**I carefully step away from the table trying not to draw to much attention to my exit. I receive a momentary look of worry from Lily but I give a reassuring smile before exiting the cafeteria. **

**As I enter the hallway I look both ways searching for the raven curls belonging to my wife. I see her glide around a corner to enter the west corridor. I immediately begin to run after her as fast as I possibly can.**

**Entering the west corridor I notice Santana is gliding into an on call room, shutting the door behind her. As I stop in front of the on call room door I go to reach for the door handle but I hesitate. **

_**Does she want me to come after her? Does she want me at all? **_

**I put the questions behind me as I knock on the door. "Santana," I turn the door handle to find it locked. "Santana I need you to talk to me, okay? So please San, please open the door." I'm pleading with her to let me in because I know she needs me, just as much as I've ever needed her.**

**My questions are answered as I stand outside this on call room, waiting for the love of my life on the other side of the door that never opens.**

* * *

Leaning back against the on call room door, Brittany pleading me to open it, I feel tears forming in my eyes and my hands beginning to become clammy.

"Go away Britt!" I finally speak after a minute silence; it is only now that I can find some composure enough to speak.

"I'm not going anywhere, Santana." Her voice is calm yet firm, she's using the tone she had once used with me trying to get me to open up to her at the beginning of our relationship. That tone had never failed, and now she had become a master of it. I can feel my resistance begin to wear thin at her words. "I'm not leaving so open up right now."

"Brittany, leave me alone!" The use of her full name was something that was always my last resort. I was hoping that it would express my need to be alone with my thoughts at this moment.

Clearly I was wrong. "No, San, I will not leave you alone. You can use my full name as ammunition all you want but it's not going to make me leave. You need me. You know it and I know it."

I wish I could let her walk away. But my resistance was never enough, it was ever futile. She was right. My rational thinking always went out the window; I would push her away and she'd pull me back just as hard. And I need her to pull, more than ever.

I was afraid to admit how much I needed her. I was her protector; I'd hold her when she cried and stand in the line of fire for her. But in moments like this I'd push her away until I couldn't push anymore. I'd tell her to leave when all I ever wanted was her; for her to stay and tell me everything was going to be okay, for her to hold me close so I could smell her coconut shampoo and something that was distinctly Brittany.

All I never needed was her.

Right now all I need is on the other side of this door, and yet I can't bring myself to open it, to let her see me like this. I try to speak, to continue to tell her to leave but nothing comes out. Sobs begin to take over my body before I finally give in.

I slowly turn the doorknob and walk to the other side of the room, pulling the door ajar slightly.

"Santana." Brittany walks up behind me. She places her hand on my hip slightly rubbing with her thumb the small amount visible skin just above the edge on my scrub pants trying to calm me. "I need you to talk to me."

With Brittany's words as a catalyst I almost instantaneously turn around, burying my head into the crook of her neck, the smell of her soothingly begins to fill my senses.

I feel her take a deep breath as she begins to wrap her arms around me. "You've been smoking again, haven't you? She says with a sigh.

It was as if I was asking to get caught. Ever since I first started at the age of sixteen, in attempt to get the solo for Nationals, the smoking was always the habit I resorted to when I felt like I had nothing else I could do to put me at ease. It was what I'd turn to when I felt that saying something to Brittany would only burden her, when things got really bad. Even so I can't bring myself to admit it because right now it is as if I've failed her. I feel that way because this is the first time in almost twenty years I've resorted to this. She had made me get over the habit, she had made me talk to her the way I used to have to make her talk to me; she helped me and that was better than any cigarette I've ever had. But right now I can't help but feel that telling her may make her think I'm crazy, like I've lost my marbles and feel like I should be admitted to the psych ward some days.

With these thoughts my sobbing starts to become uncontrollable I wrap my arms around Brittany's neck pulling her closer, holding on for dear life.

She tightens her hold on me, now rubbing her hand up and down my back. "Shh, its okay." She places a kiss on the top of my head before continuing to speak. "I need you to talk to me. You know that it's not going to stop until you talk to me. It never does, sweetheart. Come on, let's go lay down so we can talk, okay?"

I nod slow as Brittany begins to lead me to the lower bunk. We lay down, her arm wrapped around my waist, her fingers playing with my hair soothing me. We lay here for a moment with no words, just with my eyes looking into hers and hers into mine.

I bring my hand to her face, slowing caressing her cheek with my thumb before taking a deep breath. "I'm scared, even after all this time I'm scared. I'm still that cowardly little girl that hid behind her bark, which was always worse than her bite. I'm still that little girl who's terrified of being forced out of the closet yet I still get pushed out. Brittany, I'm scared."

"Santana, its okay to be scared. But I need you to tell me what's scaring you so we can work on it," she takes my hand in hers. "Together."

"I told you to leave because I'm scared. I told you to leave because I'm afraid that I need you too much. I'm scared because I love you." The tears are beginning to form again in my eyes.

"Hey, it's okay. It's okay." She places a kiss on my forehead. "This is about your father isn't it?" I nod in response. "And Artie?" I can't help but look at her in slight shock. "I've noticed, I've noticed but I didn't realize how big it was until now. So we can talk about it, right?"

"We can talk about it." I say sniffling. "Ever since he died I feel like you're slipping away from me. Now every time I look at you with Artie which I know isn't that often, or with Quinn, I feel like you're slipping away. I feel like a jealous teenage girl all over again who's losing her girlfriend to some uncontrollable situation. Except that this time I don't have my Dad to tell me what to do, I don't." I stop in fear that I'm not making any sense.

"I get it. You might not think I do, but I get it, I do." She pulls me closer, placing her forehead against mine. "I get it because I love you and I don't want to lose you either. I don't want me to push me away. I want you to be there with me, I want you to be friends with Artie and with his wife. I want you to be there with me holding my hand because I love you. I want you to be with me even when I'm mad at you. I want you to be with me even when you're mad at me. I want you. I don't want the woman who looks like the love of my life but doesn't smile like she does, that doesn't use it to the full advantage when she wants something even though she knows they turn me into goo, and deflects our kids because she's afraid that she'll do something that breaks the façade. I don't want her. I want you."

"And I want to me again, losing my father changed me. I don't want to turn into the shell of a person who I used to be. When I was out there with the kids and Artie's wife I was laughing and it hurt so much because I wasn't laughing with you, because someone who wasn't you could make me forget about everything. I need to spend time with you because there were two people in my life who I trusted with my life, and now," I begin to sob slightly. "And now there's only one, you."

"And I'm not going anywhere." Brittany brings her lips to mine. I can instantaneously feel her warmth; the passion that was in her words is now behind this kiss. I can feel every crease of her soft lips, the flicker of her tongue against my own. I can feel everything.

I can finally feel something that isn't pain or grief. I can feel everything I'm supposed to; love. All because everything I needed was on the other side of that now open door.

* * *

"How do I look?" I ask nervously as I walk out of the master bath.

"Mom is going to love it." Lina gives me a smile to the one I see when I look into the mirror.

I was wearing a dress that Lina had picked out for me while she, Lily and I were shopping earlier that day. I had taken the day off to take the girls shopping after the talk I had had with Brittany yesterday because I knew it was time for things to back to the way they were, to normal.

"Are you sure? I never would have picked this dress." I stand in front of the mirror, Lina gets up off the edge Brittany's and mine bed and stands next to me.

"I'm sure it's the right dress. Trust me about these things, I learnt from the best." She gives me a grin showing off her dimples as she leans into me slightly, wrapping her arm around my waist. "I missed you, Mami."

"I know, Catalina. I'm sorry." I pull her into a hug, placing a kiss on her forehead. "I'm really sorry, sweetie."

"It's not your fault, Mami. I just missed you that's all, I really don't know what I'd do without you and Ma." Lina pulls away slightly and gives me another smile. "And as I said this IS the dress. I'm sure of it."

"Okay, okay, I'll stop doubting it now. Thanks for doing this Cat."

"Not a problem, Ma. You and Mom deserve to go out for a change. Lily will keep us all in line, you know that, so don't worry about it."

"I know you guys better than that. The only thing I'll be worrying about it Nik and Tommy playing soccer in the basement and breaking something. Your brothers are like kindergarteners you know?"

"I know. We'll make them play outside." Catalina giggles.

"That's good to hear." I giggle with her.

"Now let's get out of here before you're late and Mom thinks you stood her up." Lina continues to laugh.

"I love you, Catalina." I pull my youngest child into a big bear hug.

"I love you too, Mami."

* * *

Brittany and I had just chosen a wine our favorite Italian place almost an hour from the house. We've been coming here since it opened when Lily started Jr. High. "So, I'm glad we talked yesterday." Brittany says simply letting her feelings known.

"Me too. I'm so thankful to have things back to normal, to feel normal." I say as Brittany takes my hand, rubbing the back of my hand with her thumb. "I felt like Quinn in our senior year, feeling so messed up that I couldn't be around normal people, feeling like everybody was slipping away. Thankfully, you pulled me back, put me into perspective, making me 'me' again. All I needed was you." I give the most genuine smile I've given in almost three weeks, butterflies fluttering around in my stomach like the night I first kissed her at Puck's party. I haven't felt this good in weeks.

"Everybody's different. You felt like everyone was slipping away and you pushed people away like I used to instead of dealing with your problems. I remember when my grandfather died, my dad, you know my dad, my dad was a complete mess, he was worse than Quinn, Santana. Remember he couldn't even look at Ashley, he barely could look at me. But he got over it, do you know why?"

I look at her curiously, "Why Britt?"

"Because my mother got over her fear of bringing up my grandfather's death and help my Dad. I got over my fear of bringing up what happened and now you're okay, we're okay." Brittany kisses the back of my hand.

"We're okay." I give her another smile.

"Now we can talk about things, like the kids. Can you believe that Lily graduates at the end of this year? We have nine months until she goes off to college and goes off to live in a dorm with a roommate she hopefully won't hate."

"I know. Let's just hope that she doesn't have the same experience my cousin. Her roommate listened to really crummy music and always smelt like cheese, which made her room smell like cheese and her clothes. It was gross when she came home remember? It was," I don't get to say anything more as I am cut off by Brittany placing a finger to my lips.

"You're cute when you ramble." She gives me a classic Brittany grin.

"You're just cute in general." I say coolly, trying to keep the mood playful.

"Oh really?" She raises her eyebrow cockily.

I grin before pulling her in for a quick yet meaningful kiss. "Really." I say placing my forehead against Brittany's. "Now what were we discussing?"

"Our miraculously amazing children, and how your cousin's college roommate smelt like cheese." Brittany pulls away slowly with hearty laugh.

"Ah, yes that." I giggle.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you Lina had a swim meet on Friday night and Nik has a soccer game the same time. What are we going to do, do like we always do and one of us go to the soccer game and one of us go to the swim meet, or are we going to do something different?"

"Now that's a tough one, its Lina's first meet since we've been home and I missed Nik's game last week,"

"You knew about that?" Brittany's voice is filled with curiosity and shock.

"I knew, and that's part of the reason why I felt so bad, because I couldn't bring myself to go because I didn't want him to see me so broken. I couldn't let him see me like that because every time I look at him I see you. I used to hate being so vulnerable in front of you after everything we went through but you would always comfort me and tell me everything was going to be okay, making me feel safe. I'm so sorry. I just couldn't let him see me like that." Tears are starting to form in my eyes.

"There's no need for you to apologize. I understand and it's okay for you to have felt that way. And now you understand so we can move on, together." She gives me a wide grin.

"I know, I know. I just feel the need to apologize even though I don't necessarily need too. But what I was trying to say was I'm going to Nik's game, I went shopping with the girls today and he deserves to spend time with me too. I think I'm going to take Tommy out to that record store he likes on East 5th tomorrow and go out for coffee. He definitely got his caffeine fix from you, you know." I chuckle.

"Says the woman who drank three cups of coffee in one hour then proceeded to finish what I had left in mine while I wasn't looking." Brittany rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

"You love me for it." I chuckle.

"Eh, I guess I do." She shrugs her shoulders. I hit her on the arm playfully, narrowing my eyes. "You know I do."

We don't get to say anything more as a loud commotion erupts at the opposite end of the restaurant. "Cam! Cam, wake up!" A woman's pleading voice echoes through the room.

Our usual waiter rushes around a corner and approaches our table. "Dr. Lopez, we need some help. Please hurry."

I give Brittany a look before swiftly getting up out of our booth. She is quickly on my heels. "Somebody help him, please!" The woman's plea once again echoes of the restaurant walls, filling the room. If not for her cries you would be able to hear a pin drop.

As we approach the scene I can't help the look of shock that forms on my face. "Maggie?"


	10. Nine

I was in a really good mood and decided to post early! (: This chapter is written in both Brittany's and _Lily's _perspective, and there is a **flashback in bold**. My medical knowledge is as great as what I've learnt from my biology courses and Grey's so I'm obviously not a doctor, just doing my best. Also, I highly doubt that you can hear what's going on in the OR in the gallery or that Brittany would actually be allowed in there but I'm begging you to just roll with it because it makes the scene work. I really hope you guys enjoy!

Nine. Down  
"You won't be lonely, even if the sky is falling down."  
- Down, Jay Sean

"Maggie?" Santana calls out. She receives no response.

I look down at the redheaded woman holding on to an unconscious boy who is around sixteen. Looking at the boy it is obvious he is Artie's son; his nose and light brown hair gives it away, if his eyes were open I would assume they would be the same shade of ice blue as Artie's.

"Maggie?" I bend down carefully next to her; Santana kneels down along side of me. I had met Maggie after comforting Santana. It was only brief but I could immediately tell she was a nice woman.

"Brittany?" Maggie finally looks up from the face of her son in her arms.

"Maggie, I need you to let Santana examine him and you can tell me what happened okay?" I say trying to keep calm.

Maggie carefully lays him down on the floor, taking a deep breath. Santana gives her a quick reassuring smile before checking his neck for a pulse. "He had a just told me a joke, we were laughing. I can remember slowly starting to get pale and I had asked him if he was feeling okay. He didn't get a chance to answer me, he collapsed before he could." Maggie stops and throws her head in head hands for a moment, only to look back up and begin shaking her head. "He has sickle cell anemia."

I look over at Santana; she gives me a slight shake of her head. I can tell by the movement of his chest that he's still alive but by the look on Santana's face I can tell that if we don't get him to a hospital soon he won't be for much longer.

"Do you want me to come with you?" I ask Santana as she finishes giving information to the paramedic who had just placed Maggie and Artie's son, Cam, on a stretcher.

"I'm going to need you." Her brown eyes are slightly widened; I notice the look in her eyes and realize I didn't even need to ask.

She averts her eyes as I begin to speak. "I'll be there. Are you going to go with the ambulance or do you want me to drive?" I take her hand in mine, which is surprisingly shaking.

"I'll come with you." She still doesn't look at me.

"Santana?" I begin to rub the back of her hand with my thumb as we start walking to my Jeep Wrangler parked a few spots away. She sheepishly looks up at me. "Just relax, okay?"

"I'll try." I can physically see some relief cross her face. "I just really don't want to let our daughter's friend's brother and your ex's son die."

"Relax, honey, we'll think of a game plan on the way there." I try to reassure her the best way I possibly can right now because to be honest, I'm just as nervous as she is.

Before we begin to pull out of the parking lot following the ambulance Santana turns on the emergency lights. "Okay, time to use me as a sound board." I take her hand that has now become clammy to try and calm her down, to make her thinking more rational.

"I'm pretty certain he has a tear in his aorta but I'm going to need a chest x-ray to check. It's also possible he had a heart attack but it's not completely probable." I can still sense the anxiety in her voice but her hands are beginning to become drier, which I take as a good sign.

"So if he has an aortic tear and had a heart attack what are you going to do?" I ask as I pass two slow moving cars that were ahead of us.

I know that in situations like this the only way to calm Santana down is to get her to think like a doctor rather than just an average citizen.

"Okay, well, you're going to control the bleeding then give him a blood transfusion. Then," Santana continues explain the procedure to me. I can hear her breaths beginning to become more even and her voice to become calm. Out of the corner of my eye I can tell that as she's looking out the windshield the traffic around us has disappeared and an imaginary surgical field has taken its place.

After her explanation she takes a deep breath before finally her eyes off the road in front of us. "Thank you."

"For what, I just asked what you'd do." I say before turning on the signal light, indicating we'd be taking the on ramp leading towards Mount Sinai.

"I needed that, so thank you for knowing me better than I know myself most of the time." She chuckles slightly.

"No thanks are needed, San." I give her a small smile before lifting her hand to my lips, hoping that I've calmed her down enough to get us both through tonight.

* * *

I've been pacing back and forth the OR corridor for the past few minutes debating with myself if I should go down to the ER to check on Cam and Santana. I could see from the OR board that Santana hadn't scheduled surgery yet.

"Just go, Brittany. If it doesn't help, it certainly can't hurt." I say to myself as I stop pacing and continue to walk in the direction of the elevators.

As I open the doors to the ER I can hear Artie's voice booming throughout the ER. I look around to find her nowhere in sit but the door to trauma room two open. Sure enough there she is, Maggie trying to pull him back towards the wall. I don't hesitate before entering the trauma room.

"Lopez, what are you doing? Are you trying to kill my son?" Artie's face had reddened significantly considering her usual pale tone.

"Artie!" Maggie continues to try and tear Artie away but he keeps managing to get closer and closer.

I look at Santana; the look on her face makes it obvious that she's uncomfortable with having Artie here. "Somebody get him out of here!" Santana directs one of the male nurses to remove Artie from the room.

"Like hell I'm going anywhere. I'm not going to let you kill my son, Lopez." Maggie's hold on Artie's chair finally gives and he begins to approach Santana.

I manage between to get between the two of them before Artie decides to do something without thinking clearly. "Artie. You're not going to do this." I firmly plant my feet on the ground preparing for his retaliation.

"That's my son. I want him to have the best. Not a surgeon who just said they were going to patch his aorta and perform bypass surgery before completely fixing the aorta. He's my son." Artie's wheelchair begins to collide with my legs.

"Artie," I put my hands on his shoulders and begin to carefully guide him backwards before he decided to take out my wife. "Artie, listen to you. He's your son, you clearly cannot be here I'm going to ask you and Maggie to leave before I have to physically remove you. You can't help him now, but they can. So let them help him." I give him the best look of reassurance I can.

Artie stops and finally looks me in the eye. The fear in his eyes is evident. Maggie takes Artie's hand, and I can see slight relief for a moment cross his face. "I'm sorry." He says quickly before quickly exiting the room, shaking off Maggie's slight hold, at what would be an almost jogging pace if he was able to walk. Maggie gives me quick look of gratitude before exiting out of the room after him.

This was so familiar it hurt to even think about what Artie must be going through. My mind immediately travels to a similar situation from years ago when Lily was seven.

* * *

"**Brittany!" Santana's voice echoes through the ER. I lift my head up to find her half running, half rolling through the ER barely missing some of her colleagues as she makes her way to us. "Mija, what happened?" She says taking a seat next to me before holding tightly onto our daughter's hand.**

"**I don't know Mami, but I don't feel good at all." The words are slurred slightly as they leave Lily's mouth from the pain killers she was given after she was admitted.**

"**I know baby, but the doctor's are going to all they can to make you feel better." Santana says before giving me a highly concerned look; I can practically feel how fast her heart is beating from my spot next to her.**

"**Okay, Mami. I want to go to sleep, why can't I sleep Mami?" Lily looks up at her with her big brown eyes, almost on the verge of tears.**

**Santana immediately places a kiss to her forehead before look back at me as if to say "WTF!"**

"**They told me to not let her fall asleep, which is a lot harder than it looks with the pain meds they gave her." I say as calmly as I can, placing a hand on Santana's thigh. "She had a seizure San, she broke her leg and hit her head. They don't want her to fall asleep 'cause they said if she does she could have another one. It was so scary, when she woke up I didn't know what to say to her." I whisper to her; it was clear after I met up with them in the ER Lily had no idea what happened to her.**

**She had been at dance class and when I got to the hospital she was so confused, she had no idea what was going on. The last thing she remembered was tapping Maria Berry on the shoulder to get her attention then she was here at the hospital. The EMTs had told me that she was unconscious since they arrived at the studio. I was only at the hospital for five minutes before she awoke with a start.**

"**How long have you guys been here?" She gives me a look that tells me once I answer her Snix may be unleashed.**

"**Uhm, uh," I give her a nervous look which earns me a raise eyebrow from Santana. "There was paper work and they were asking me a bunch of questions."**

"**Britt, tell me." She's gets straight to the point; unlike me.**

"**About an hour." I can feel the nervous blush creep across my face as I look her in the eye.**

"**Keep her awake." She says through her clenched teeth. She places another kiss on Lily's forehead before storming away.**

**Lily begins to speak sleepily. "Momma, can you tell me," She doesn't get to finish her sentence before my wife's voice is booming through the ER.**

"**What the heck is wrong with you people?" Santana's usual professionalism is gone out the window, she's in complete Snix mode; something I haven't seen in years. "My DAUGHTER has been in the ER for an hour and not a single one of you thought about PAGING me!"**

**Lily's eyes widen in fear at my wife's words, slowly beginning to feel with tears. "Momma."**

"**Its okay baby, just stay awake for me okay?" She nods slowly, clearly distracted by Santana's voice continuing on loudly in the background. "I'll be right back. I promise." I follow Santana's actions, placing a kiss on Lily's forehead before heading in my wife's direction.**

**I find her arms waiving, mouth going with Spanish flying out. "Santana!" I yell at her as I continue to approach the scene she's causing. My raised voice is barely audible over hers.**

"**Todos ustedes son idiotas!" She nearly hits an intern as she attempts to get up in the resident in charge's face. **

"**Santana!" This time my raised forces her to turn to face me; shame is clear all over her face.**

**She quickly turns back to the members of the staff she's just insulted. "I am so sorry." **

**Tears are starting to form in her eyes before she turns on her heels and practically runs out of the ER. I'm proud of her for saying she's sorry, but I can't help but be a bit disappointed in her for running away; she hasn't done it for years.**

"**Santana!" I call out to her as I pass through the swinging doors of the ER. I find her curled up into a ball on the floor against the wall at the end of the hall. I approach her slowly, careful to startle her to much. "San?" I say as I bend down in front of her.**

"**I'm sorry, I'm sorry." She mumbles over her tears like a mantra.**

"**Everything's going to be okay." I wrap my arms around her, pulling her towards me. "Just breathe, baby."**

**She lets out shaky breaths, grabbing at the labels of my jacket; trying desperately to have us be as close as possible. "I'm sorry."**

"**I know. You're scared, and so am I. But Lily is so terrified so we have to be strong for her okay?" I feel Santana nod against my chest. "I love you." I can't help but press a kiss to the top of her head.**

"**I love you too, Britt." She places a quick kiss to my collarbone. "Let's do this."**

* * *

"Okay, someone get an OR prepped. I'm going to get changed into scrubs and meet you in the OR." Santana says before the nurses quickly roll Cam's gurney out of the trauma room. "Thank you." She rips off her gloves while the room around us empties.

"No thanks are needed. I know how he feels. He just needed someone to set her head straight." Santana turns around and I untie her trauma gown.

"I know I just couldn't bring myself to look at him and I couldn't think straight."

"Do you want me to be in the gallery?" I take out a ponytail ring and a few bobby pins from my pants pocket and begin to fix Santana's hair so that it would fit comfortably under her scrub cab. Under my touch I can feel her relax slightly.

"If you want to be there you can." Her words say but her tone is telling me that she's going to need me in that gallery otherwise she's going to start panicking.

"I'll be there." I say with a small smile as she turns around to face me. I can't help but give her a gentle kiss on her forehead. "I love you. Now go kick some cardio ass!" I chuckle.

Santana gives my favourite soft smile. "I love you too. I've got to go get changed but I'll see you there." Santana gives me a quick peck on the lips before practically jogging out of the trauma room.

As I exit the trauma room I can't help but notice a familiar head of red hair exiting the ER. I pursue my instinct to follow them.

"JJ." I call out as I catch the door shutting behind her. She continues to walk on, not hearing my voice. "JJ!" My voice is louder now and has obviously reached her ears as she turns around.

"Mrs. Lopez?" She asks in surprise as I manage to catch up to her. Her face is slightly puffy and her eyes watery. It is evident she's been crying.

"I'm sorry to bother you. I was just wondering if there was anything I could do for you? Would you like for me to call someone for you?" I ask empathetically.

"No, that's okay Mrs. Lopez. I'm fine." The fact that she is telling me she's fine tells me she isn't 'fine'.

"It's Brittany, sweetheart." I give her a small smile. "Are you sure? It's no trouble." I try and get her to accept the help I can tell she most desperately needs.

"Uhm, would you, uhm never mind." JJ gives me a look of what could almost be considered disbelief.

"JJ, it's okay. I don't bite." I smile.

"Would you be able to call Lily?" Her words come out rushed, sounding more like one word than a sentence and her cheeks are beginning to become slightly pink out of embarrassment.

"Not a problem, I'll just give her a call. I'll tell her to you by the main nurses' station in the waiting on the surgical wing because that's where I'm headed to right now so she'll know exactly where to find us okay?" I give her a quick smile before dialling our home phone number. "Lily?"

* * *

_As I walk into the hallway leading to the main waiting are on the surgical floor I couldn't help but feel anxious and slightly nervous. Mom was fairly discrete and cryptic when she called me and asked me to come to the hospital. All she had said was that someone here wanted to see me, and that I should be prepared to stay here over night so I should put Nik in charge back home. _

_Opening the door to the waiting area I immediately realize who she was referring to. JJ is sitting in one of the waiting room's uncomfortable chairs staring at the staircase leading to the patient rooms upstairs with bloodshot eyes._

_I slowly approach her, I'm not careful of my words. "JJ?" It takes her a moment for her to look at me. "Can I sit down?" _

_She nods slowly signalling me to sit down. We sit here in almost complete silence for almost five minutes before words are spoken again._

"_My brother is in surgery." She pauses for a moment trying to regain some composure. I slightly hesitate before taking hold of her hand. "Your mom's operating on him, he has sickle cell anemia and he's got an aortic tear." Fresh tears are forming in her eyes and beginning to roll down her cheeks. _

"_It's okay." I give her the best reassuring smile I can, right now is to be the good man in a storm I was raised to be. _

"_He might end up being paralyzed or he might die." JJ buries her head in her hands._

_I now go into full protector mode, something I definitely got from Mami, beginning to rub my hand up and down JJ's back to calm her. We may have only known each other for a week but we've become closer than I've been to anyone who I don't consider family in a long time._

"_I know you feel like the sky is falling down on top of you but you've just got to relax. Worrying isn't going to help; it's only going to drive you crazy. I've been there before, you've just to put your mind of things and let the doctors do their jobs. It may seem like a load of crap but honestly it helps if you take your mind of it." I try my best at getting JJ to relax. _

_She looks up at me with bloodshot eyes, "And how do you suppose I do that." JJ almost chokes on a sarcastic laugh._

"_I'd like to propose we get out of here." JJ gives me a confused look as I pause for a moment. "I think that we should go upstairs to my Ma's office and get away from this chaos. Plus then I'd actually get the time to get to know you better, you're one of my best friends and I don't even know your favorite color." I chuckle trying to cheer her up, even if it's in the slightest._

_A small smile forms on JJ's face. "I think I'd like that." I stand up and begin to lead her out of the waiting room towards. "Lily?" JJ's voice breaks the silence that exists in the room._

"_Thanks, I just couldn't be alone." She gives me a gratitude filled smile._

"_Not a problem, I wouldn't have wanted you to be left alone like this." I can't help but think that this is only the beginning of a friendship that is going to last a long time. At this thought a wide smile crosses my face. JJ takes notice and gives me a curious look. "Nothing, JJ. Don't worry about it. I was just thinking that's all. Let's get upstairs."_

* * *

_One of my mother's favorite nurses opened the door to my mother's office with a sympathetic smile. "Just lock the door when you leave as always when you're done."_

_"Thanks Jen, I appreciate it." I say with a quick smile before leading JJ into the office._

_"Wow, that is a lot of photos." JJ says with a slight chuckle as she takes notice of my mother's photo top covered desk._

_"Most of them are of me and my siblings with my parents." I say feeling the blush beginning to rush to my face. "I'm going to ask you to go take as seat because there a few really embarrassing photos of me on there." I laugh as I motion to the large comfortable navy couch against the adjacent wall._

_"You dance?" She asks, clearly having seen a picture of me and Mom from my first ballet recital at the top corner of Ma's desk._

_"Not anymore." I say, taking a deep breath; I knew this was bound to come up eventually, I just didn't think it would be this soon._

_"Oh. Did you not like it or?" JJ's questions hangs in the air, almost like a noose._

_"I loved it but it just got to hard to keep going. I, uh." I can't find the right words to tell her; things hadn't been to bad with telling people considering it was part of my life since a young age but a few bad reactions here and there still made me nervous._

_"Sorry, I shouldn't have asked." She shies away slightly, edging her way towards the couch._

_"No, it's okay. I'm epileptic." There is was plain and simple. I take a deep breath before continuing while also trying to gauge her reaction. "I had my first grand mal seizure at a ballet lesson when I was seven. It took a long time for them to get my seizures under control, and there was something about dance or any purely physical activity that seemed to make the seizures worse. My parents said I didn't have to give things up if I didn't want to because they wanted me to have a normal childhood that I would just have to cut down the amount of energy I put into it. Like I'd only be able to go to one lesson a week instead of the usual two or three or I could choose to stay in gym class but I couldn't play the 'rougher' sports like flag football or basketball like the other kids."_

_"That must have been tough." She gives me a sympathetic smile that doesn't make me feel like she pities my like I normally did when people responded that way._

_"I just couldn't do it. I may have only been eight years old when I made the decision but I knew I had to do it all the way or not do it at all. I couldn't do anything half-ass, and I still can't," I can't help but chuckle. "I gave it up a month after my eighth birthday. They didn't get seizures completely under control until I was about 12 or 13, and by that time I was completely behind and not to mention out of shape so I never went back to it, no matter how much I loved it as a kid. So as they say everybody has a happy ending, so if you're not happy it is not the end. I may have been unhappy for a while but eventually I found something else that made me feel the way dancing did and I've stuck to it ever since."_

_"That's great, I have something like that. I don't think I could give it up even if I wanted to." She lets out a small laugh before taking a seat on the couch._

_"Do you want something to drink?" I ask, trying to make things less tense and comfortable for the both of us. I bend down behind the desk, opening Ma's mini-fridge. "We've got apple juice, orange juice, water, and what looks like fruit punch." _

_"Apple's good." JJ's voice is quieter now without the nurse or photos to distract her. There are so many things I wish I could say to her, things that could make her feel better, even if it's only for a moment, yet I don't know how. _

_I pull out a can of apple juice for her and a box of fruit punch for me. "Can you catch?" I ask as I stand back up straight, shutting the mini-fridge door shut with my foot, while holding out the can of apple juice prepared to throw._

_"Can I catch?" She shakes her head with a laugh, causing me to raise my eyebrow slightly. "You're looking at the MVP for my old school's baseball team two years running. I played on both the boy's and girl's teams. I was practically born with a glove in my hand screaming 'Put me in Coach!'" She smirks; I can tell she's beginning to relax now._

_"See I told you this was a good idea." I say as I throw the can of juice to JJ. "I didn't know that, obviously." _

_"And now you do. So that means I get to know something about you that I don't already know now." JJ smiles slightly as I take a seat on the couch next to her._

_"I'm extremely organized. It's definitely something I picked up from my mom, considering Ma is not the neatest person in the world. My room is always clean and everything is always exactly where it's supposed to be, therefore I know where to find everything." Blush is beginning to flush in my cheeks. _

_"I never would have pegged you for the organized type." JJ chuckles before taking another sip of juice._

_"It's not like I have OCD or anything, I just liked to be organized." My embarrassment is starting to become slightly apparent in my voice._

_"I'm not saying there's anything wrong with being organized. I'm just saying that I wouldn't have thought you were the organized type, but I wouldn't have considered you a slob either." She laughs which causes me to follow suit._

_"Why thanks, JJ. That's always great to hear." I almost snort in laughter._

_"You're welcome." She gives me another smirk. "I'm not what you'd consider a slob but I'm not the neatest person in the world either." _

_"Okay, I have a good way to make this more interesting. Considering my good track record so far I think you should listen." I say with joking arrogance. _

_"I'm all ears." JJ says as I kick off my shoes and pull my feet up on the couch, turning so my back is against the armrest. _

_"I ask you a question, you answer, and vice versa. You get five vetoes and who ever runs out of vetoes then refuses to answer any other question loses."_

_"Sounds like a plan." Jess says as she follow my lead, leaning back against the opposite armrest and pulling her feet up which land on top of mine. "Sorry." Blush begins to faintly spread across her cheeks._

_"No biggie." I say with a sympathetic smile trying to hide my own nervousness, I'm currently having what could only be described best as butterflies like a six year old whose crush has just kissed her boo-boo all better. "So where were we?"_

* * *

I take a seat in one of the empty chairs in the front row of seats in the gallery above Santana's OR. Looking down into the OR I notice Santana's scrub instantly; the plain black material covered with red guitars and white music notes. I can't help but smile; she has been wearing the same pattern on her scrub caps ever since her first year as a resident, it never ceased to make me smile.

One of Santana's scrub nurses comes up behind her and whispers into her ear. She nods before looking up to the gallery. I can't see any part of her face except for her eyes which meet mine and I can tell by the look in her eyes she's giving me a smile, thanking me for being here because I can tell how hard this is for her. I give her a quick wink and a smirk before she continues with the procedure.

I'm sitting in the gallery for what seems like an hour before the monitors in the OR start blaring. "Damn it, I need suction over here!" Santana's voice is booming through the room below. Her tone and choice of words causes my hand to become slightly clammy. When she starts swearing, especially in the OR, you know it's nothing good. "Johnson, I need you to keep suctioning while I search for the bleeder." Her voice is firm and still loud enough to be heard in the gallery.

I look at the monitors and I don't see anything becoming bradycardic, his pressure was dropping fast. "Come on, Santana." I say whisper as I lean forward, putting my elbows on my knees, and my hands to my mouth.

I look over at the monitor at the side of the gallery and realize that the procedure Santana was performing was not what we had discussed earlier. It appeared to be the a lot riskier David procedure. "Is that an aortic dissection?" I ask a second year resident sitting two seats away from me. My medical knowledge consisted of what I'd learnt from what had become rare study dates with Santana. But I'd have to say I definitely know a lot more than your average kindergarten teacher.

"Yeah, it is. I think Dr. Lopez will be able to get a handle on it, she's one of the best." The young brunette gives me a small smile, obviously now realizing who she was speaking to. Santana tried to keep our personal life out of work but considering she's been here since her internship it was near impossible to not have people know we were married.

"I hope you're right." I give the resident a smile in return. The resident then turns back to surgical floor watching intently. As I follow suit the monitors blaring beeps begin to lessen becoming less frequent. "Thank you for not dying." I say under my breath before saying a little prayer.

Santana looks up at me for a moment; the nervousness and fear in her eyes are clearly evident. She looks at me for what seems almost like an answer as if she should continue. I give her a look of encouragement and nod, hoping she gains at least the smallest amount of courage from my reaction. I honestly can not help but smile as Santana takes a breath before continuing on as if her patient is not my ex's child, as if he's one of her long term patients she'd fight for, as if she had not just almost lost him on under her scalpel.

Santana's firm yet hopeful voice now echoes through the OR. "Okay, people we don't want that to happen again so we're going to do this as quick as possible and without any mistakes. Let's get back to what we came here to do, save a life."

* * *

_"Okay, what is that most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you?" JJ gives me a slightly wily smile before placing her empty can on the coffee table in front of the couch._

_"Oh, good grief." I hang my head for a moment. "Veto." I mumble._

_"Oh what was that? Lily Lopez refusing a question with no vetoes left? Leaving me to be the one to win?" The smirk on JJ's face doesn't fade as I look up at her with narrowed eyes._

_"I thought I still had one more veto left, don't you go trying to cheat your way into this one." JJ and I have been sitting in my mom's office past hour and a half trying to get to know each other better and keeping our minds, mainly JJ's, off the fact that her brother was in life saving surgery as we speak._

_"I'm not cheating; you seriously don't have any vetoes left. But if you want to tell me then I'll have no protest on you still being in the running to win." The smirk on her face fades to a genuine smile and I can't help but blush slightly. _

_"Here it goes, Lily." I think to myself. I've decided to just give up my resistance and tell her because it's bound to become relevant eventually._

_"Last year, I was dating one of my best friends. Things seemed to be going absolutely perfect but." I don't get to finish my sentence as there is a knock on my mother's office door._

_"Saved by the bell, well knock in this case." JJ says with a chuckle._

_Thank God for interruptions._

* * *

"Okay, Dr. O'Neil can you test the reflexes of both legs, please?" Santana asks a third year resident who has scrubbed in with her. Her voice is calm but I can tell she's nervous.

The resident makes their further down the table and begins to testCam's reflexes. I watch intently for any sign of movement. The resident tests three times with no result before testifyingCam's lost the use of his legs. The look on Santana's face may be hidden by her surgical mask but I can see the expression that is on her face in my mind, and it's not good.

Santana looks over at another resident. "Okay, good work people. Johnson, could you close for me please? I've got anxious parents to speak with."

Without another thought I almost jump out of my chair and swiftly make my way to the scrub room. As I enter the room, Santana enters through the opposing doors. She rips her surgical gloves off, slamming them into the medical waste bin, before yanking off her surgical mask and doing the exact same thing. She doesn't look at me; she just continues to scrub out, scrubbing her hands vigorously. As she wipes her hands dry she finally looks at me.

The tears now running down her face are enough to make tears prick in my own eyes. I hold out my palm open hand waiting for her fingers to intertwine with mine. I don't have to wait very long before I feel Santana's warm hand take mine. I lead her out of the scrub room to the on call room down the hall, ignoring the concerned look from Quinn who was standing in front of the OR board.

As we enter the on call room I let Santana go in first and shut the door behind me. Turning back to look at Santana she has thumb and her index finger on her temples, her hand covering her eyes.

"Come here." I take a step closer to her and put my hand on her shoulder, guiding her to me.

Santana immediately buries her face in the crook of my neck, wrapping her arms around my neck, going on her tippy toes. I wrap my arms around her waist pulling her closer protectively, sheltering her from herself. I place a quick kiss on the top of her head, "Sh, its okay, its over. He's okay." I whisper sweetly hoping it will help.

I can feel hera tears running across my collar bone, slowly wetting my jacket. We stay like this for what seems like forever but in reality was only a few minutes before Santana pulls away slightly to look me in the eye. "He's 16, he's Nik's age, and he's never going to walk again." The anxiety in her voice is inevitable.

"That maybe true but he's still alive. He's still alive, and that's all because of you." I begin to slowly comb my fingers through her hair to sooth her.

"But he's a teenager, he's going to hate his life, he's going to know exactly what he's missing. What if this ruins his lifeBrittany?" She replies, her tone completely serious.

"He is a teenager, Santana, which means he has time to get over what happened and move on with his life. Sure, he's going to be upset but that's what's normal. You had a patient who cut off his own finger so he could play hockey for college scouts and his hand got infected, he lost most of the function in his hand. But you know what? He moved on with his life, he got over it, because it's what you do, you have to. And if acts as much as he looks like Artie then he's going to get over it because he's a strong kid. He's not alone, Santana. He's got a lot of people to help him, he'll get over it. And he's going to be thankful to you. You know that mortality rate of aortic dissections, Santana. It's a miracle he survived, and he has you to thank for that. So stop worrying your beautiful mind about it. You deserve to relax, okay?"

I finish my rant like reply with my famous goofy smile which I know always makes her smile. Santana shakes and hangs her head for a moment with what I assume is a chuckle. She looks up at me with a smile. I cup her cheek, wiping away her tears with my thumb. "See that's better." I say with a chuckle.

Santana reciprocates my actions, placing her affectionate hand against my cheek. "I love you, Britt." With a look of utmost admiration and love in her eyes she slowly leans in and places a soft, yet indulgent kiss on my lips. "I love you." She says as she gradually pulls away, this time her voice barely a whisper.

"I love you too, San." I whisper back. "Now you've got some parents you've got to talk to because you can't lie to your colleagues now can you?"

"I guess not." The nervousness that had disappeared is now apparent in Santana's voice.

"Do you want me to come with you?" I ask even though I already know the answer.

"Please." Santana gives me a small smile.

"Time to face the music then, San." I give her a quick kiss on the forehead before taking her hand and intertwining our fingers while leading her out of the on call room to find Artie and Maggie.

* * *

_"Lily?" The door opens slowly to reveal my blonde haired mother. "Hey JJ, I just wanted to check up on you two, see if you guys needed anything."_

_I don't get a chance to respond before JJ begins to speak to my mom. "We're okay, Mrs. Lopez. Lily here has got it covered." She gives her a small chuckle followed by a slight smile._

_"Well in that case JJ do you want to come see your brother?" My Mom gives her a big smile._

_The look on JJ's face changes immediately and I can't help but smile widely as well. "Are you serious?" She says almost in shock._

_"I'm serious."_

_Tears begin to form in JJ's eyes and she sniffles. "Sorry, I'm not usually and emotional person." She chuckles._

_"It's perfectly fine. You've got the right to be emotional. Mom will take you up to see him" I stand up removing my feet from between JJ's, grabbing her empty juice can and my empty juice box off the coffee table and placing them in the recycling bin next to my Ma's desk._

_"You're not coming?" Mom asks me curiously._

_"Well I was thinking," I don't get to finish my response as I am cut off by JJ._

_"If this is a privacy thing then don't worry about it." JJ says causally, I look back at her; looking in her expressive eyes for a moment. They tell me that she wasn't about to ask me to come with her because she didn't know how, no matter how much she wanted to._


	11. Ten

This chapter is written from Santana's, _Lily's, _and **Brittany's **perspectives. I hope you guys enjoy! [:

Ten. Fix You  
"When you feel so tired but you cannot sleep.  
Stuck in reverse."  
- Fix You, Coldplay

Brittany, with Lily and JJ closely on her heels, appears as main door to the ped's floor opens. She looks over at me mouthing the words "explain" and "legs". It takes me a moment before I realize what she has meant by this. I give her a small nod and smile in respond to signal I've understood.

"Hey Mami." Lily says with a small smile that mirrored my own.

"It's nice to see you, Dr. Lopez." JJ greets me, grinning almost from ear to ear.

"It's nice to see you too, JJ. I'm sorry had to be under these circumstances but it's still nice all the same." I smile sympathetically.

"So what room is JJ's brother in Ma?" Lily ask curiously, I can tell by the look on JJ's face it is as if Lily had read her mind and that she was thankful she didn't have to ask herself.

"He's in room 1311, but I'd like to talk to JJ for a minute before she sees him alright, JJ?" I give JJ a reassuring look as a look of panic crosses her face.

"Uh, sure." She replies hesitantly before looking over at Rory for a moment who smiles slightly back at JJ.

I motion to JJ to follow me to the smaller waiting room off the main lobby. As we enter the room I can't help but feel bad for her, she looks so helpless, the little color I do remember her having when I met her has now drained from her face and slight shiny lines from tear streams run down her face.

"Is everything alright with Cam, Dr. Lopez?" JJ says nervously as she takes a seat in one of the uncomfortable padded waiting room chairs.

I can't help but sigh slightly as I take the seat next to her, putting on my brave face because I knew this was going to be emotional for her.

"This is going to be hard for you to hear but I'm going to need you to look at the big picture here for me, ok?" I give her an encouraging smile hoping for even the slightest response.

"Okay." JJ's voice is faint as she nods her head slightly.

As I begin to speak I notice tears are beginning to form in JJ's eyes. "Your brother is alive, but his lifestyle is going to be a lot different when he gets out of the hospital. He's lost the use of his legs because there wasn't any blood reaching his spinal cord so he will have to use a wheelchair. I'm telling you this now before you see him so you can prepare yourself."

I pause for a moment's break to let the information sink in. "He's only coming out of anaesthesia now so he's going to be confused and it's highly likely he'll be emotional. I just wanted you to know this now so you wouldn't go in there without being prepared. It's going to be hard but just trust your limits."

JJ runs her fingers back through her bangs before wiping the tears from her eyes. "Thank you." She sniffs. "Thank you for saving him. I understand what you meant about the big picture now." She chuckles sadly.

"You're welcome but no thanks are need. I'm glad I could help." I place a hand on her shoulder for support. I know the feeling of what it is like to possibly lose a sibling, I know that fear she's felt because it's only the beginning of the chain of events that happen after. Thankfully I had managed to break that chain.

"You ready?" I ask, knowing that it wasn't going to do any good for her to see her brother if she wasn't ready.

She takes a deep breath before speaking, "I'm ready."

* * *

I decide to let Lily walk JJ to Cam's room as it was only across the hall from the nurses' station where Brittany and I were standing rather than taking her myself. Thankfully at this hour at night the ninety eight percent of the ped's staff were asleep in on-call rooms or at home in their own beds.

"Do you think I should have gone with them?" I ask leaning back against the counter next to my wife.

"No, I think you made the right call on that one, San." She replies as she continues to read my expression; clearly looking for any presence of Snix or whoever the heck I had become the last few weeks. "It wasn't an aortic tear after all?"

"No, it was an aortic dissection. I was talking to Maggie after we moved him into recovery while you were getting the girls from my office, turns out Cam fell down the stairs at their house not remember they were there because hadn't gotten used to the layout of the house. That happened yesterday. The fall along with his sickle cell anemia caused the dissection." I reply even though she hadn't asked for the specifics.

"Well I guess its good then that Lily convinced us to go out to dinner. Otherwise you wouldn't have been there." Brittany says before taking my hand; always the optimistic one.

"Speaking of Lily is it only me but does she have that look in her eye that I haven't seen since before the whole Casey debacle?" I look down the hall at Lily who is standing in the doorway of Cam's room. "She's known JJ for how long? A week?"

"And this is coming from the woman who proceeded to kiss me less than a minute after she finally got the nerve to admit she liked me while she was completely wasted. We'd known each other since we were kids and it took forever for you admit it." Brittany chuckles; I clearly remember not being able to clearly remember how I had put my drunk ass self in that situation but one kiss from Brittany had sobered me up pretty damn good.

"Well, it worked didn't it." I say with slight arrogance as I swat at her playfully.

"Yes, it did work but I cease to see your point here Santana." I look back at her to see her eyebrow raised slightly.

"My point is that she's known this girl for less than a week. She's seventeen years old, Britt, that doesn't mean she'll learn from her mistakes. I don't want to have to put her back together again. Our daughter is too young to be broken that way once, and I sure as hell don't want it to happen twice." The tone of my voice has changed; now trying to express the seriousness of my concern.

"Hey," Brittany leans up off the counter and stands in front of me, cupping my cheek in her warm hand. "Its okay, Lily is going back to the old Lily we know and love and that is what matters, right?" She gives me a small smile.

"You do have a point." I say sheepishly.

"Of course, I do." She giggles just like she always does. "She may be a teenager but she's one of the most amazing teenagers I know. She's got to make her own decisions. She's growing up and we've got to let her. Lily isn't afraid to do what she wants and wears her heart on her sleeve like you do while saying whatever she thinks like me and cares like crazy about her siblings just like I did with Ash. She's becoming the person we raised her to be, San."

It is only after Brittany has finished speaking I realize that there are tears rolling down my cheeks. "Thanks for making me cry, Britt-Britt." I say sarcastically before wiping the tears from my eyes.

"You love me for it." She smirks before pulling me in for a hug, wrapping her arms around my waist.

It was true; it was something I couldn't simply deny. "That I do, Britt. That I do."

* * *

_The awkwardness between JJ and I that had existed on the walk from Ma's office to the main lobby of the ped's floor had since disappeared. I was currently in Cam's room, sitting at the uncomfortable plastic chair at the foot of his bed while JJ sat in the slightly more comfy padded chair on the side of the room, next to the heart monitor._

_After coming out of anaesthesia Cam had reacted better than expected to the news he had lost the use of his legs. He was calm but as I had watched from the doorway I could see the disappointment in his eyes. He had told their parents to go take a nap in an on call room or go home, he actually to JJ the same thing but she had refused to leave his side. Cam had drifted off to sleep around fifteen minutes ago._

"_He looks so peaceful. I'm kind of jealous." JJ breaks the silence that has been existing in the room since Cam fell asleep._

_I can't help but give her a look of confusion. "About?"_

"_It's not what you're thinking, I just meant about the sleep thing. I feel so tired as if I'm fighting sleep, yet I can manage to fall asleep." She laughs faintly._

"_I can go, if you want, so that you can sleep and not feel awkward." I can't help but chuckle a little._

"_No, no, that's okay. I have a feeling that I wouldn't be able to sleep anyhow." JJ smiles faintly, appearing almost forced._

"_Can I propose an idea then?" I ask hesitantly._

"_Well, considering your track record, I say go for it." The forced smile that had disappeared for merely a second is replaced with a genuine smile._

"_What about I ask Ma to get you a cot and we can set it up in here and you can lie down. We can talk until you fall asleep. Sound like a deal?" _

"_You, you are a genius." _

"_Well what are friends for anyhow?" I say with a smirk. _

"_What about you?"_

"_After you fall asleep?" I ask, receiving a small nod from Jess. "I've got siblings of my own to check up on, my parents are off tomorrow so I'd say they'll stay until morning rounds considering my Ma tends to check on her patients more often then most."_

_JJ smirks back at me. "Well in that case, we have a deal."_

* * *

Scrambling around the supply closet down the hall from my office was not on my list of things to do before checking on my patients yet I found myself doing it any how. Lily had asked for a cot to go in Cam's room for JJ who had refused to leave her brother alone.

"Oh, there you are," I say tom myself as I eye a sensible looking cot poking out from behind a shelf full of syringes. "Hiding away from me are you?" I begin to pull on the cot hoping it won't be too difficult to move. "This definitely was not the smartest place to put this."

"I'd have to agree with you on that one." A somewhat familiar voice coming from the doorway causes me to drop the cot, consequently knocking over a large box of syringes.

"Artie, you scared me!" I say as I turn around.

"Sorry about that." She says with a slight chuckle before swiftly rolling into the room,

"Uhm, can I get you something or," I say awkwardly.

"No, no I just wanted to apologize." Artie's voice has become so quiet it could almost be considered a whisper. I can hear the hesitation in her tone. "I had no right to snap at you like that. I was being extremely irrational. I'm sorry, Dr. Lopez."

"I know what it's like to be on the other side of things, you don't need to apologize. I understand. It's Santana by the way Artie. My friends get to call me by my first name." I give him a small smile hoping it will make him feel a little better about getting in my face.

"Friends, huh?" He says curiously. "How come I didn't think of that?" Artie smiles; giving me the impression that we had officially become friends.

Due to the awkwardness that had been filling room dissipating it is only now I notice that the cot is squishing my foot. "Now that we're friends, can I ask you a favour?"

"Sure."

"Uh, can you help me get this cot off my foot?" I ask, realizing I must've sounded like five year old.

Artie begins to laugh, "Not a problem, Santana, not a problem."

* * *

"_That better?" I ask with a laugh as JJ takes a seat on the cot._

"_Yes, thank you, where have you and your great ideas been all my life?" JJ laughs as she kicks off her shoes before swinging her feet up onto the cot._

"_Around." I give her a slight smirk. "You do know that you have to lie back in order to sleep, right?" I say as I realized she hasn't lid back yet._

"_That is a very good point." JJ pulls the covers up over herself before lying down on her back, looking up at the ceiling._

"_So what's your brother like I've never seen him at school before? I didn't ask before because I didn't want to get you upset again." I say with a smile._

"_Thank you for that, definitely a smart move on your part." She laughs. "Cam doesn't go to our school."_

"_Oh." is the only word in my vocabulary that seems to come out of my mouth in response._

"_He's way too smart for high school. He goes to the Columbia University."_

"_Really? I never would have thought he was older than you. He only looks to be my brother, Tommy's age at the most and he's turned fifteen in November." I say with surprise ringing in my voice._

"_My brother's, uhm, his birthday was last week. So that makes him 16 now." She says with a smile._

"_Are you serious?" I look at her with my face expressing complete shock._

"_Completely, my brother's what ye common folk would call a genius." JJ chuckles. "They realized when he was 10 and had found that he had found my cousin's grade eleven trigonometry books and had taught himself the entire book during summer vacation at our family's beach house."_

"_That is one of most amazing things I've ever heard." I can't help but be amazed._

"_He's supposed to be in tenth grade but as I said he's a freshman at Columbia, pre-med actually." I can sense the tiredness in voice._

"_That is really cool, how about you? What do you want to do after leaving the dreaded but secretly loved high school?"_

"_Uhm, not sure. I'm leaning towards being a scrub nurse like my Mom but if I had to pick any job I could haven in the entire world I'd have to say I'd want to be a genetic research to find the cure to Tay Sachs."_

"_Wow that seems like something that would be really rewarding." I smile._

"_How about you? I'm sure that you've got something interesting you want to do after high school?" _

"_I'm still not a hundred percent sure because I haven't got my acceptance letter yet but I applied for pre-med at NYU. If I get in I'll probably try and get into Columbia like my Ma for med school." I chuckle. "It sounds quite a tad bit ambitious I know, but I kind of picked up a few of my Mom's type A personality traits, and that is definitely is one of them."_

_I sit there waiting for JJ to respond for around a minute before realizing that she had fallen asleep. "Well I guess she was that tired after all" I think to myself._

_I sit there simply watching the blanket rapped around her rise and fall slightly with her breathing, unable to bring myself to leave without getting the answer to her earlier question off my chest. JJ may not be awake to hear me but I've got to get it out, I've got to tell her, because she'll hear it someday any how._

"_You asked me what my most embarrassing moment was and I vetoed the question, but eventually gave in and of course got interrupted. All I got out was that I had been dating Casey, who was one of my best friends, for almost six months and I thought that things were going great. Two months ago I decided to go to my physics class a few minute early, because I frankly suck at physics, it's the one science that I can't fully wrap my head around. The study of motion? It's dull and anything dull is something I can never completely concentrate solely on because my mind tends to start wandering. Just like now, because I'm rambling. I'm rambling because I'm nervous, even though you can't heart me." _

_I take a deep breath now because I can feel my hands begin to get clammy and my heart begin to quicken. _

"_Anyways, as I was saying I went to my physics class a few minutes early. I knocked on the door and I don't get a response so I open the door and there it is. Casey is making out with my physics teach. That's not the worst of it. They're so into it they don't notice that I'm standing there. They only break apart once they hear the majority of the class enters the doorway. I stood there like staring at them like an idiot, with everyone staring at me for what felt like almost an entire minute before someone says anything." _

_I stop again as I feel the tears I hadn't noticed forming rolling down my face. I wipe away the tears before continuing. "The look on her face as she realized it was me standing in front of everyone else was enough to send me running for the hills. I remember running out of the room barely able to see anything through the tears. I went to my locker which was on the opposite end of the hall and threw my physics books to the bottom of my locker. After doing that I began to pull down all of the photos of Casey and me off the door of my locker ripping them to pieces before collapsing to the floor. Drew came and picked me up off the floor before bringing me home. That was the most embarrassing moment of my life."_

_I drag myself up out of the chair, quietly lifting it back to its proper place at the side of the room. As I turn around and make it half way out the door a voice stops me dead in my tracks._

"_She'd understand, you know."_

* * *

"**You almost ready?" I ask I poke my head around the bank of lockers in the attending's locker room, checking to see if Santana was ready to go home yet. I find her with her head stuck into her locker searching for something or another.**

"**Uh, almost, I've just got to bring back these" She shakes the two patient charts she has in her hand, her voice reverberating out of the locker, as I walk close to her "back to the nurses' station. Then I'm ready."**

"**I can bring them to the nurses' station while you," I pause for a moment not being able to coming up with an appropriate word for Santana's endearing habit of triple checking, making sure she has everything she needs before she leaves the hospital. It wasn't unusual to find her like this; her head buried in her locker, her arms searching for a sock she may have taken off that afternoon or a specific notebook with her list of things to do or ideas for possible treatment plans for her patients that had somehow always managed to make its way to the back bottom of her locker. "While you do that." I say with a slight chuckle. Seeing Santana like this, as if she's a ninety year old woman searching for the glasses she has on her face, never ceased to amuse me or make me smile.**

"**No, I got it. You can go get the car and meet me at the entrance. I'll be down in," Santana doesn't get the chance to finish her sentence as her pager sitting on the wooden bench behind her begins to vibrate. "You've got to be kidding me!" Her tone has now become impatient.**

**I pick up the pager, "It's a 911, San. It's Julie Daniels."**

**At my words Santana stops what she's doing. Her once impatient tone becomes completely serious. "Take the charts." She says, taking her head out of her locker. "Give me your scrubs." Knowing I wouldn't be comfortable in my date night clothes Santana had give me a pair of her scrubs to wear earlier; I was lucky enough that she liked her pants a size too big, allowing them to be long enough.**

**My face forms a look of confusion. "What?" **

"**I said give me your scrubs, Britt. I used my last clean pair when I operated on Cam, when I checked up on one of my patients afterwards she vomited on me. So I don't have a clean pair and I'm going to end up going into surgery. So, Brittany I need your scrubs." Her eyes help support her serious tone.**

**She doesn't need to say anything more. I don't respond with words, I take the charts from her hand and place them on the bench before hauling off pair of scrubs for Santana.**

"**Here," I put the pair of scrubs on top of the charts before beginning to unbutton her shirt to help her change; not truly caring about being half naked because Santana clearly needed to get to her patient as soon as possible. I then walk behind her, taking the ponytail ring off my wrist and put her hair up as she pulls on my scrub pants.**

"**I'll get a ride home from one of the nurses or someone. I'll be home for breakfast baring anything goes wrong." Santana says as she ties the drawstring as tight as she can. "I've already almost lost one kid today, I really do not want to that to happen again."**

"**Just relax, you'll do fine." I give her a quick kiss on the cheek. "I'll have something ready for you when you get home, okay?" **

"**Okay." She gives me a quick kiss on the lips and a smile in response, "I'll see you at home." before swiftly exiting the locker room, leaving me to ponder how lucky I was to have such an amazing wife and best friend.**

* * *

"_She'd understand." Cam's voice enters my mind as I place one foot out of the door. _

_I turn around slightly, my back against the door frame. "Excuse me?" I try act like I don't know what he's talking about._

"_You heard me," he chuckles. "You know what I'm talking about, it's written all over your face." A small innocent smirk crosses his face._

_I hang my head in defeat for a moment, realizing that it was no use to try and tip toe around it, it was too late for that. "You were awake the whole time weren't you?" I look up at him with curious yet wary eyes._

"_Not the entire time, I woke up at the part when I assume JJ fell asleep." He gives me a smile that seems slightly out of place on his features, looking more like it belonged to someone's eighty year old grandfather who is watching their convocation from university._

"_Well, in that case you know the important part, I suppose." I say sheepishly, I can feel the blush beginning to creep upon my face._

"_You could call it that I guess. I get that you don't know me very well but do you want to talk about it? I can tell this is hard for you but you technically told my sister, and you told her for a reason. You're going to need to talk about it again sometime, to some who is actually going to say something and be listening." _

_I continue to look at him, weighing my options. "I don't know." _

"_Take your time then. By the looks of it I'm not going anywhere." He chuckles again._

"_I guess it can't hurt, it's not like your sister can hear us. She's as lively as a log." I chuckle slightly, making my way back to the chair I had been sitting in a few moments ago._

"_You have an excellent point there."_

"_So," There is an awkward silence filling the room._

"_This is usually the part when one of us starts to talk, in this case that person would be you." He says in an almost matter of fact like manner._

"_Well what do you want to know?" I ask trying to get comfortable in what I'm sure is the most uncomfortable chair in this hospital. _

"_We'll what do you want to tell me?" is the only thing he asks, he simply looks at me waiting for some form of response from me._

"_I'm curious why you said what you said." are the only words that come out of my mouth, unable to think of anything else to say given the situation._

"_Why I said she'd understand?" He tilts his head slightly as he talks._

"_Yeah, that."_

"_I said that she'd understand because she would. If anyone understands heartbreak it's my sister. You're not the only one with a bad break up, you know."_

"_To say it was a bad break up is the understatement of the year."_

"_Can I ask why it was the most embarrassing moment of your life?" He stresses the word 'most' as if to get a point across._

"_Well you just did." I pause for a moment as a grin crosses his face. "It's the fact that I'm always the one who's cool under pressure and never backs down from a challenging situation because that's just not who I am, it's not who I was raised to be. But with seeing Casey do something like that just broke me, everything that made me 'me' just seemed to have slipped away for that moment in time. That's why it was so embarrassing, having everyone watching me like that knowing that I'm not going to be remembered as the girl who's a good man in a storm," I can't help but notice Cam's facial expression change to a slightly confused look for a moment with the use of my last phrase. "It's that I'm going to be remembered as the girl whose girlfriend cheated on her with a teacher and had an emotional break down in the middle of the hallway for the entire student body to see."_

_My stomach is now beginning to tie itself in knots as Cam begins to speak again. "Is it the embarrassment of that moment that makes the fact that you two broke up so upsetting?"_

"_It's not the embarrassment that bothers me for the most part. It's truly the dishonesty and the fact that she was my girlfriend, my one of my best friends, and she cheated that bothers me the most." I run my fingers through my bangs, beginning to feel frustrated. _

"_What bothers you the most? Is it that she cheated when you thought you guys were actually happy or who she cheated with?"_

_I sit there staring at the patterned blanket on the end of Cam's bed for a moment, honestly trying to think of which one out of the two made me more upset. I eventually settle on an answer._

"_A bit of both, because there's a bit more to it than that. I found out later that it had been going on the whole time, before we were even together. So the fact that we were friends before and I didn't know about any of it showed me how I really didn't know her at all. It made me feel stupid for letting myself get slammed by someone I thought I honestly was in love with when I truly barely knew them at all." I pause for a moment, trying to gain my composure, trying not to let my emotions get the best of me as they rarely do. "Then there's also the fact that it was my teacher, who was at least twelve years older, and of course was a man."_

_There is a slight look of shock on Cam's face that only lasts for a moment before quickly disappearing. "Yeah, that would definitely effect how you felt, no question. So, the girl you who was your girlfriend, the one who you considered your best friend cheated on you. Has that only affected the romantic aspects of your life, am I correct?"_

"_You'd be correct." I answer almost instantaneously._

"_Okay, I don't know you very well so I get the fact that this is awkward for you but I can tell you right now that you just lied straight through your teeth. You might not realize it but you did." _

_The look on his face is having an almost calming effect on me, he doesn't seem to be judging me, and he is just simply speaking the truth. It is as if he is genuinely trying to help. And I can't deny that I appreciate it._

"_Well it might account for the fact the only friends I had before your sister was my siblings, my best friend Drew who is like my brother, and my cousin Penny." I pull my feet up, trying to hide myself slightly behind my knees. "Mind you I never had many friends before Casey anyhow." _

"_That might have something to do with it but might not necessarily be the entire problem so don't self-diagnose. I would love to keep you talking but its 4:30 in the morning and I'm sure your parents are expecting you to be home soon, I'm sure." Cam smiles yet again, looking and sounding wise beyond his years once again._

"_I think I'll have to follow your advice on that and hit the trail. But before I go," I put my feet firmly back on the floor. _

_I don't get a chance to finish my sentence as he answers as if he's read my mind. "Ask away." _

"_How did you know who I was? I mean when I first came in with JJ right after you woke up after surgery, you knew who I was, disorientated and all." I ask genuinely curious._

"_Well my sister tends to talk about you, a lot." Cam chuckles, "And I mean that in the most non-stalker way possible."_

_I feel my cheeks warm as blush immediately begins to cross my features. "Oh." I say bashfully. _

"_Lily, before you leave I just wanted to say something. I know that this conversation is between us, I consider you a friend so I won't speak a word of it to JJ, but I just want to put my two cents in and say that I think you should tell her, because as much as you wish you didn't I can tell you like her." _

"_I'll think about it." I say as I get up out of my chair. As I make it to the doorway I stop once more. "Cam?" _

"_Yeah."_

"_JJ told me that you were pre-med at Columbia, do you have a specialty in mind for med school?"_

"_I'm a bit on the fence between two, why?" His face expresses his slight confusion._

"_If one of them is pysch, and I'm ninety nine percent sure one of them is, just go for it." I give him a genuine smile, "Thanks Cam."_

"_Not a problem, Lily. I'll think about it." He repeats my own words back to me before chuckling and turning off the light above his bed as I leave shutting the door quietly behind me._

* * *

**As I pull into the driveway I'm pleasantly surprised to find Lily's car next to my Jeep Wrangler. Getting out of Santana's Suburban I notice that there's only one light on in the house, the light was on in the basement studio; Lily's favorite room in the house.**

**Entering the house I can hear the faint rock music coming from the basement stairs. I hang up my jacket and put my purse on the kitchen counter before slowly creeping down the stairs, trying not to startle her.**

**The singer's voice singing lyrics from one of my favorite songs echoes quietly through the basement, "Do you feel like a puzzle, you can't find your missing piece."**

"**Lily?" I call out, loud enough to be heard but not loud enough to wake anyone asleep upstairs. After receiving no response I call out again, "Lily!"**

**Turning the corner to the studio I find her. She's standing back on to me in front of her easel staring at her canvas, wearing a pair of flannel pyjama pants that had once been Tommy's until he had grown out of them and an oversized stained white dress shirt that had been Nik's before he spilt non-alcoholic wine on it at my parent's fifth wedding anniversary party. **

**Just as she's about to make a brushstroke I speak, not waiting for her to start just in case I startled her, as I lean against the doorframe. "Lily, what are you still doing up?" I ask with slight concern present in my tone.**

"**Couldn't sleep." She mumbles almost incoherently as she begins to add to her half finished painting. **

"**Well I think you should try to go to sleep again because everyone else is going to be up in a few hours and then you're going to regret not trying, mija" I attempt to entice her to go back to sleep.**

"**I'll be fine. You and Ma are bound to be exhausted so you guys better go take a nap before everyone gets up like you said." Her words seem to be distant and her gaze doesn't leave the canvas.**

"**Lily," I'm about to tell her to come upstairs with me but I'm cut off.**

"**Night Ma." Her tone assures me that something is inevitably wrong.**

"**Rory, look at me." I change my own tone making it more firm; hoping it will make her turn around.**

**I receive a sigh as she puts her palette down on the small splotch covered wooden table next to her before slowly turning around. Her eyes are rimmed with tears and slightly bloodshot. ****"Lily, what happened?" **

**I stand up straight beginning to walk further into the studio. I don't get very far before I feel Lily's arms wrap around my neck pulling me into a hug. "Oke, gewoon met me praten. We kunnen lossen het samen." I say quietly in her ear, trying to encourage her to let me in as I wrap my arms around her.**

**"****Momma." She says, releasing her hold slowly but surely.**

**"****Let's go upstairs and I'll make us some hot chocolate then we can talk, okay?" I give her a reassuring smile.**

**I receive a response in half Dutch half English, before she begins to put away her things. "I'll be upstairs when you're ready." I say before giving her a quick kiss on the top of her head before exiting the studio, hoping that she'll be ready to tell me something soon.**

**We've been sitting at the counter in silence long enough for me to have my mug almost half empty. Lily hasn't looked at me since she's come upstairs. She simply sits on her stool, staring into her mug in between sips.**

**As I notice Lily's finger beginning to tap random beats on the counter top out of nervous habit I decide that it was now or never. "Lily, I get that you're upset but I can't exactly read minds as good as when you were younger." I receive a chuckle from Lily, which I take as I good sign. "I'm going to take a stab in the dark and if I'm wrong, tell me, but if I'm right you need to talk about or you're never going to get passed it."**

**"****Neem een stab." She says switching to complete Dutch rather than the 'Dutchlish' I had heard downstairs.**

**"****This is about Casey," I pause for a moment as I realize her hold on her mug has tightened, whitening her knuckles slightly. She doesn't say anything to stop me so I continue. "But it's not just about Casey, it's also about JJ. I'm pretty sure that the two people who don't know you and JJ like each other are you and her. Liefje, you can't let the past dictate your life."**

**Lily's gaze finally leaves the mug in front of her; she turns her head to look me straight in the eye. "It's not that easy, Momma."**

**"****I know, it's not supposed to be easy. If it was, it wouldn't mean anything." **

**"****She's my best friend outside of Drew, and well Penny of course, even though I've only known her for a short time and I just can't have it happen again." Tears are starting to form in her eyes.**

**"****How do you know it will, Lily?"**

**"****I just know it will, because I've got the worst luck." She replies with an impatient sigh before taking her mug back to her lips, finishing off her hot chocolate.**

**I slowly brush her bang out of her eyes, tucking it behind her ear. "No, Lils, you really don't. Sure, Casey did leave you heartbroken and made you feel like you weren't you anymore, I've been there Lilypad. Casey was someone you thought would never hurt you. It makes you feel like you did something or there was something about you that made you not good enough, but there's not, sweetie. But you've got to believe me when I say it only takes one person to change that for you, and maybe that person is JJ or maybe she's not. But you'll never find out unless you try." I give her a wide smile, hoping it will make her realize that there's a large possibility that I'm right.**

**"****How do you know?" She asks me her eyebrow furrowed slightly.**

**"****I was broken once, for a much different reason, and even Aunt Quinn couldn't make me feel better and fix me. I had resorted to the worst medicine, going to parties and knocking back tequila on the weekends. I'm warning you now, don't ever resort to it, now or when you're older, you'll regret it in the morning and later in life when you acquire liver failure from drinking too much. But one night at the first party Uncle Puck ever threw Aunt Quinn took a seat next to me and asked me how I was and I just started to cry, so not wanting to be seen I went to the washroom to clean myself up. After a few moments the door opens to reveals this petite brunette who told me that people care about me and that I shouldn't believe what other people said because they're just jealous. She said I was the smartest persons she'd ever met." **

**I pause for a minute chuckling to myself causing myself to smile like a goofball. "I laughed and asked her if those people had names, and before I knew it I was experiencing the best kiss of my life. When she pulled away she gave me the most beautiful smile I've ever seen and said 'I think you know.' And I couldn't help but grin like an idiot as she left. That girl turned out to be the love of my life and your Mami. So I don't regret pursuing her even though she turned me down, twice." **

**Lily can't help but laugh, no matter how hard she tries to stifle it. "Ma turned you down, twice?" **

**"****You bet she did, but she eventually changed her mind and decided to give a chance. So the moral of the story is," I pause for Lily to answer for me.**

**"****You never know until you try and you deserve to give yourself a chance, and possibly a second." Lily chuckles, wiping the tears that form in her eyes away.**

**"****Right. So now do you think you can go to sleep?" **

**"****Definitely. Thanks Momma." She gives me a small smile before getting up off her stool.**

**"****Zoete dromen, liefje." **


	12. Eleven

This chapter is written from Brittany's and _Lily's_ and **Santana's **point of view. You guys will be getting more Brittana then I've regularly been writing as well in the next few chapters. Hope you enjoy!

Eleven. Never Too Late  
"It's been too long and we've been down and out without laughter,  
No smiling just tears."  
- Never Too Late, Hedley

I manage to fall asleep almost instantly after retreating to mine and Santana's bedroom. My eyes only open in response to the feeling of warm arms belonging to my wife wrap around me.

I take a moment to simply take in the smell of Santana as I look at the bedside clock. I'm surprised to see that it's already past nine o'clock. "Good morning beautiful." I say, taking Santana's hand in my own.

I receive no verbal response from her, only a stifling of a cry and a sniffle. Carefully, I roll over so that I am face to face with Santana whose eyes are bloodshot and rimmed faintly with tears with tear streams staining her face.

"Hey, it's okay." I wipe the teats that are slowly rolling down her cheek. Before I get the chance to say anything more Santana buries her face in the crook of my neck, tightening her hold on me as she does.

"Just tell me what happened." I say, almost whispering, before placing a kiss on top of her head of blonde curls.

It takes her a few moments to regain her composure, enabling her to speak. "She died." She sniffs before continuing. "Julie died. I tried everything in the book but I couldn't get her back. She just slipped away. She slipped away and I couldn't stop it."

We both knew this day was coming but unfortunately Santana had become very attached over the two and a half years Julie had been her patient. Ever since we had had children, over the years there were a smaller amount of children on her ped's floor that Santana considered her own, but Julie, Julie was closest to her out of them all. Her and Santana had been close almost immediately after her admission to Mount Sinai.

"I know it's hard, honey, I know you loved her in your own way but you've got to let go."

Julie had advanced cardio myopathy, especially considering she was eleven years old, and was unable to accept a heart transplant because of a pre-existing blood condition. Santana had fought to keep her alive nearly the whole time she was her patient, trying every procedure she could, even those that weren't necessarily encourage by the board; trying to give her more time.

"I tried everything. I know that she didn't have all that much time left but I was hoping there would be a breakthrough at Mass. Gen. with the research they've been doing. I was hoping that they'd have a cure before her time ran out." She shakes her head, and then hangs it as if in embarrassment. "Maybe, I was being naive but I really thought they would have found the cure."

I can feel Santana's entire body begin to shake. "San, honey, I need you to listen to yourself. You tried everything. You did your job to make her life the best it possibly could have been but it was simply her time. Sure, it may seem too soon for her but she doesn't have to suffer anymore. God will make sure she is safe." I say comforting her the best way I know how. I wrap my arms around her, pulling our bodies as close as possible.

"I know, I know, but it still doesn't change the fact that she'll never get to grow up and have a life of her own that is outside the four walls of a hospital room." With her words I begin to feel fresh warm tears wetting my shirt.

"It's hard I know but you've got to let her go, sweetheart," I begin to run my fingers through her hair trying to stop her from crying. "You can't go back. You've got to move forward. We can move forward this weekend at the cabin if you want, if you feel comfortable about leaving the kids home alone all weekend that is."

Santana pulls away just enough to be looking me in the eye as I give her a goofy smile fully knowing that it was bound to make her smile back. I'm proven correct as a small smile revealing the slight laugh lines she'd acquired over the years crosses Santana's face. "I knew there was a reason why I married you." She chuckles through her slight cries.

"And why is that?" I smirk trying to humour her.

"Because you're a genius." The small smile on her face grows making her laugh lines more prominent.

I don't get a chance to verbally respond due to the breathtaking hindrance of Santana's lips capturing mine. I involuntarily moan in response, as Santana's hand cups my cheek. We don't separate until the need for oxygen becomes unavoidable. As I take a breath her lips begin to leave trails of kisses down the side of my face not stopping until they reach my pulse point.

"Santana." I manage to pull my head out of the gutter and begin trying to get her to stop. "San." I pull away slightly, still holding onto her waist.

She looks up at me, pupils wide. Her look on her face is as if to ask what was wrong.

"It's 9:30 in the morning and I just heard the sink going in the bathroom upstairs." I say with a small chuckle.

"Children, when will they ever learn to sleep in?" She shakes her head in fake disbelief before giving me a wide smile.

Santana hauls herself up out of bed and begins to take her now dirty clothes off. As she is changing into her casual clothes I can help but watch in amazement of how even after all this time the sight of her wearing my college sweatshirt and a pair of shorts still makes my heart beat faster.

Before leaving the room, to what I'm assuming is make the only breakfast food she knows how for the kids and ourselves, she comes to my side of the bed and kneels down. She gives me a smile sweet enough to give a cute eighty year old man with false teeth cavities. "I love you." She says almost whispering before placing an affectionate kiss on my forehead.

"I love you, and nothing will ever change that, I'm here for you no matter what." I give her a smile, "Its okay to grieve honey but don't get lost in it."

Santana closes her eyes for a moment as if to reset her brain and let everything wrong slip away. "I'm okay." She says before opening her eyes. "Now, who's up for banana pancakes?"

Her voice is the most cheerful I've heard it since the other night in the restaurant and I can't help be glad that I had the courage to tell her that I saw her pain and I wanted to make it better, no matter how bad it was.

* * *

After changing out of my pyjamas and into a pair of cargo shorts and a sweatshirt I walk out of our bedroom to find Santana in the kitchen singing faintly to herself, which is a rarity in itself, not including the back she was cooking.

As she whisks the eggs into the flour I can pick out the lyrics to a song I haven't heard since before the kids were born. "And you light up my life. You give me hope, to carry on." I can't help but smile as I continue to walk up behind her. "You light up my days and will my nights with songs."

Once reaching her I begin to wrap my arms around her waist only to be met with the sound of Santana's squeal. As she turns around to face her 'attacker' she knocks over the bag of flour onto the counter. As Santana turns around the smile that was on her face is replaced by a classic Santana scowl.

"Way to go, Santana." I almost snort. I can't help but laugh at her. "If it wasn't me who," I do not get the chance to finish my sentence as my face it hit with a cloud of flour.

Before opening my eyes I hear Santana's giggle echo through the kitchen. "What were you saying, dear? She says through her laughter.

I wipe the flour from my eyes and mouth before speaking. "Oh no, you didn't!"

I wrap one arm quickly around Santana's waist, a squeal escaping her mouth. With my other hand I grab one of the eggs remaining on the kitchen counter and she fights to get out of my hold.

"Don't you dare!" Santana yells as she continues to squirm.

I continue what I was doing and crack the egg over my wife's head. After throwing the shell in the sink as quickly as possible I scramble across to the other side of the kitchen to hide behind the island.

I sit in silence, waiting for my wife to surrender for what seems like an hour before bombs in the form of eggs crash down on me. "Gotcha!" Santana giggles from across the room.

I immediately jump out from behind the island and begin to chase Santana around the kitchen, making the mess we had created even larger.

"Mom? Ma? What the heck are you doing?" Lily practically yells.

Santana stops in front of me causing me to bang into her; thankfully I stop her from falling to the floor. I only now notice Lily and Catalina standing in the doorway leading into the kitchen.

"Just having a little fun." I laugh, placing a kiss on Santana's cheek, not caring that it was currently dripping with egg whites.

"Who wants breakfast?" Santana giggles with a wide smile.

"I'll get the milk." Lina chuckles before cautiously making her way to the fridge.

"I'll get the fruit loops." Santana responds almost instantly.

"Oh no, you two are showering before you do anything else because I personally do not want to have eggs and flour all over me when you guys lean over me to grab the cereal box." Lily follows suit, smirking before letting out a small chuckle.

I look over at Santana who is giving me a knowing smirk. "You've got a deal." There was definitely going to be more getting dirty then clean during this shower.

* * *

_After helping my parents clean up their mess in the kitchen with my sister and eating a breakfast consisting of the strange yet delightful combination of fruit loops and peaches I decided to head over to the Berry residence to have a well needed talk with my best friend considering last night's events._

_As I pull into the driveway I notice that the light over the door is still on. "Of course they're not home. Only me would pick the strangest times to do these things." I think to myself as I put the gearshift in reverse and start to slowly back out of Drew's parking pad. _

_Before I know it I'm putting on my brakes at the sight of Drew pulling open his front door standing there in his Batman t-shirt and pyjama pants waving at me. "I thought you guys were gone." I yell out as I roll down my window before pulling back up the driveway. _

"_No, Mom got called into work at 5 and left the light on outside and I didn't notice it until now." He chuckles, shaking his head in slight embarrassment._

"_Smooth moves, Drew, smooth moves." I laugh as I shut of the T-bird._

"_Well sorry, are you coming in or not?" He says almost sarcastically._

"_What does it look like genius?" At my words I remember the reason I came here in the first place. My conversations with Cam and my Mom had prompted this well needed conversation with Drew. _

"_You never change, do you?" He smirks as I roll up my window. _

"_Aren't you glad about that?" I say with a smile after getting out of the car. _

"_Hmm, I'll have to think about that one." Drew crosses his arm across his chest and swings up his other arm so that his hand is on his chin, as if he was mimicking Rodin's 'The Thinker'._

_Reaching the top of the patio steps I slap him playfully on the arm. "Why thank you, Andrew. That was very kind of you." I laugh with a smirk. "I love you too, brother." _

_He grins. We had considered ourselves practically siblings since we ten years old, thankfully that hadn't changed over the years. "Love you too, sis."_

"_So what is it this morning?" Drew asks as he takes a seat on his bed while I snatch up his gaming chair that was more comfortable than any bed could have been._

"_What do you mean?" I ask trying to avoid the subject as long as possible; I wanted to talk about it but I wanted enjoy the normalcy of the morning I've had since I've woken up, barring my parents food fight in the kitchen that is._

"_Lily, to be blunt," he pauses for a moment, "just cut the crap." He says somewhat nonchalantly. "I've known you since birth. I know when you've got something to say and are trying your best to avoid it." _

"_Fine." I half grumble, pulling my feet up in front me so that I am wrapping my arms around my calves._

"_So, as I said, what is it this morning?" Drew gives me a heart warming smile, which actually helps take the edge off. "You know me. This is a no judgement zone."_

"_Well can I ask a question first?" I request._

"_Bring it on, Lily." _

"_Why haven't you asked Penny out on a date yet?" I attempt to hide behind my knees, just keeping from my eyes up visible as a blush starts to creep across his face. There was no doubt that he was Aunt Quinn's son, considering she'd blush at the drop of a hat. "Is it because you think it's too soon, that you haven't really known her all that long?" _

_With my last comment I've somewhat given myself away. "Lily, is this about me and Penny or about something else?" Matt raises his eyebrow slightly._

"_Both." I reply honestly._

"_Well, that is part of the reason. But I haven't really known her, known her all that long. I mean I don't really want to just go jumping into things. I mean I've known her since we were kids because you, Penny, and I used to play together when they used to visit every few years from Ohio, remember? She's your cousin so I just don't want to start dating her and realize that she was different then who I remembered and who I thought she was and only like her a just a friend and hurt her right?" He rambles._

"_I get your point."_

"_Then again, half the fun is getting to know the other person, right?" He smiles again causing me the blush is beginning to fade slightly from his cheeks._

"_And that also is a good point." I smile and the memory of hanging out with JJ in my Ma's office asking her questions like what her favorite TV show was when she was little._

"_And if this is what I think it's about," The smile on his face chances to an almost cocky looking smirk. "Then I think you should go for it but just take it slow."_

"_Are you sure? I mean Mom and I talked about it and she said almost the same thing but I don't know." I pause, running my fingers through my bangs pushing them out of my eyes. "Mom said that I would never know what would happen if I didn't try. She then proceeded to tell me the story of how she and Mom had their first kiss." I can't help but smile remembering the look on my Mom's face when she got into telling the story._

"_Lily, I can tell by the look on your face that you're taking this really seriously, considering that this is the first time since Casey," I can't help but flinch at Drew mentioning her. "See, this is the first time I've seen you act the way you used to before Casey around someone who you don't consider family. So, yes I'm sure, you're ready and willing by looks of it." He smirks._

_I grab the closest object and throw it towards him. "Shut up, chemistry boy." I scowl._

"_I'm right and you know it." He smiles as he catches the TV remote that was intended to hit him._

"_I haven't felt this way since Casey." I shake my head, unable to contain a smirk. "I might be seeing things but I spent last night at the hospital with her when Ma had to operate on her brother," I don't get a chance to finish my sentence as I'm interrupted._

"_Is he okay?" Drew's eyes widen in concern, leaning up off the wall._

"_He's alive but he's going to be contained to a wheel chair for the rest of his life."_

"_Ouch, that's definitely going to be different. How old is he, I've never seen him around school?" _

"_He's Nik's age but he's a pre-med student at Columbia. He's a genius." I chuckle. "And he knows about Casey, and my feelings about JJ." I can feel the blush beginning to flush my face._

"_How does he know about all that?" His face contorts in confusion._

"_I'll get to that in a minute." I assure him. "I sweat with some of the looks she gives me she might feel the same way about me as I do about her." I notice his smile widens as I speak. "She blushed simply because when we were sitting on the couch in my Ma's office her feet landed on mine when she put them up on the couch. Do you think that means anything?"_

"_I think that you think that it means something, therefore I think it means something. So as I asked earlier, how does Cam know all about Casey and your feelings about his sister?"_

"_I'll address this first question first. Me and JJ were asking each other questions trying to get to know each other and she asked me what my most embarrassing was I vetoed it so she dropped it. But later on once she had fallen asleep I told her all about Casey and Cam found out because he woke up and heard it. And he knows about my feelings for JJ because apparently it's obvious to everyone besides her."_

_Drew gives me a look, "I could have told you that."_

"_Is it weird that when I feel bad about losing my Abuelo or anything else that makes me feel just upset in general when I look at her I feel better? Its crazy I know but it's true." I can't help but smile at the look on JJ's face when she smile for the first time after we entered my Ma's office._

"_It's not weird, it's good." He smiles. "I think you've made up your mind, Lils. Just go talk to her already." _

"_Only if you ask Penny out on a date." I give him a look, as if to say 'You do this or I'll be somewhat pissed at you.' _

"_You've got yourself a deal, Lopez." Drew leans towards me. "Go get your girl."_

* * *

**After cleaning up the breakfast dishes with Lina, Brittany and I decided to tell the rest of the kids that we were going to be gone for the weekend. It was especially times like these I was thankful we had kids we were able to trust. We had already put Lily in charge before she left for the Berry's and Brittany had planned to call Nik to check up on them every once in a while. As usual we had told the kids to have their cells on at all times.**

"**They'll be okay won't they?" Brittany asks as she shuts the hatch after placing our suitcases in the back of my Suburban.**

"**Of course they will, why wouldn't they be?" I ask chuckling slightly.**

"**I may have came home to find an upset daughter of ours painting at five in the morning." She replies tentatively as she takes shotgun.**

"**You what?" I practically whip my head around, looking at Brittany with widened eyes. "Why didn't you say something about this earlier?" **

"**Because I was trying to cheer you up." She gives me a small smile. "And I think I fixed the problem." She proceeds to chuckle.**

"**And what problem was this?" I ask raising an eyebrow, even though I have somewhat of an idea.**

"**I'll tell you once we get on the road because if we don't get on it soon we're not going to get to the cabin until late. And then," **

**I cut Britt off, already knowing what she was going to say. "We'd miss sunset. I know." I giggle slightly as I put the car in reverse and begin to back out of the driveway.**

"**It's not my fault that you're a sucker for them. And that it takes you forever to pack." Brittany chuckles, receiving a playfully slap on the arm from me after I put the car into first gear. She had taught me how to drive standard after our one year anniversary when she had finally bent on the 'Brittany is the only one allowed to drive the Bug' rule.**

"**You know me I like to be prepared, and stop trying to change the subject." I smirk, letting on to the fact that her tactics on trying to get me to go faster weren't exactly going to work.**

"**Who says I was changing the subject?"**

"**I did, so spill." I say in my best cop voice which causes Brittany to laugh. "Did I say that you could laugh?" I keep my face serious as I glance over at her slightly.**

"**No, Ma'am." She attempts to stifle her laugh but it eventually comes out anyhow. "Sorry, I just didn't want to worry you. I think I handled it." **

"**Britt would you just tell me already, you're killing me here by not tell me." I almost half yell at her as I turn onto an on ramp. She truly knows how to push my buttons; she knows how much it bothers me when a person dances around a subject for so long without any details.**

"**When I got home I found Lily downstairs, paint brush and palette in hand, staring at that piece of canvas she hasn't touch in months. She actually added something to the painting Santana." Brittany gives me a wide grin before continuing. "To someone that doesn't know her it wouldn't seem like such a big deal but you know that she hasn't been able to paint since your father passed away."**

**The scowl that has been on my face is replaced by a blossoming smile. "And this is upsetting why?" My tone has automatically changed to my usual excited pitch.**

"**It's not the painting thing that upset her. You and I both know that she has a crush on JJ," Brittany pauses as if waiting for a reply. She only continues after I give her a nod in response. "She got upset because she didn't want to act on it only to be dropped on her ass again and be hurt. But do you know what I told her?"**

**I'm slightly hesitant even though I know I was right when we were fighting at the point in time in our relationship when kids became the subjects of fights. Brittany was a great mom, no, she was the best mom. She was even better than I imagined she would be. I was extremely thankful that I had realized that I didn't need to be afraid of change and that moving forward with Brittany and having children would be a good thing. Turns out it was for amazing than I could have ever dreamed.**

"**What did you say?" I ask giving her a smile brought on by the memory of the look on Brittany's face when she found out we were pregnant.**

"**I told her a little anecdote about a certain feisty Latina that changed my life in ways I didn't think were possible and that it only took one person to make your life turn around. I told her to not make the mistakes we made and to live life because she'll never know unless she tries." Out of the corner of my eye I can see my favorite goofy grin crosses Brittany's face, making my heart skip a beat.**

"**Have I ever told you that you are the best Mom ever?" I chuckle.**

"**Uh huh, and I believe I told you that we tie for that award." She chuckles as she takes my hand after I put the car into the appropriate gear for the freeway. "Thank you for giving me the chance to be a Mom along side the most amazing woman in the world." She lifts my hand to her lips, placing a kiss on the top of my hand before bring our hands back down to rest on top of the center console.**

"**No regrets?" **

**Brittany's words are like a beautiful symphony to my ears. "No regrets."**

* * *

_Not long after making my deal with Drew I find myself in Mount Sinai Hospital parking lot sitting there in my car, unable to bring myself to get out. I was not the type to go back on deals or promises but right now I couldn't help but consider the possibility of starting my car and getting out of this parking lot as soon as possible._

_I look out my windshield to find a joyful looking redhead woman being pushed to her car by an orderly as she holds the hand of brunette woman. I can't help but chuckle, putting my hand over my eyes. In its own twisted way it was near impossible to not consider this a sign. I am reluctant but I force myself open the door to my car to get out fully knowing that the results could be disastrous. _

_As exit the elevator onto the ped's floor I receive a few smiles and pleasantries from some of the nurses who are usually on my Ma's service. After reaching Cam's door I take a deep breath before knocking on the open door, careful not look in knowing that it was likely that was bound to make me more anxious._

"_Come on in." Cam's voice echoes through the room, reaching the doorway._

"_Hey Cam." I pause as I enter the room and notice that Cam is the only person in the room. "How's it going?" I smile hoping that he's feeling just as good as he was last night. I was actually extremely surprised at his strength after he had received the new that he wasn't going to be able to walk again._

"_Pretty good actually. You got to love cable TV and physiology." He holds up a text book the size of an encyclopedia with a chuckle._

"_Sounds like some interesting stuff. What topic?" I ask genuinely curious._

"_Respiratory. Personally not my favorite subject but it's better than watching soap operas all day long like I would if I was a 70 year old woman."_

_I can't help but laugh at his joke, "That is true." I say with a smile._

"_I'm assuming you're not here to see me per say due to the look that was on your face when you walked in." Cam says as if he's completely okay with having some alone time. _

_I immediately begin to feel blush cross my face out of embarrassment, "Since you're a mind reader I'll have to come clean on that one." I smile sheepishly._

"_I guess you are now." He chuckles. I'd have to give him credit; he was definitely quite the optimist._

"_I was actually looking for JJ but she's obviously not here." I say nervously._

"_Oh, I see." His tone implies that he understands what I meant. "She left for home about an hour and a half ago."_

"_Well I'll guess I'll see her at school on Monday then," Nervous laughter automatically leaves my mouth. _

"_Well, you could always go to our house you know." There he goes again with that grin. "I'm assuming you didn't simply come here to see how she was. Am I correct?"_

"_See there you go with that whole mind reading thing again." I smile. "After talking it out I decided that it was best to get everything out in the open. Let the fresh air get at it and rid of anything that taints it. But I don't want to intrude, considering your family had a rough day yesterday."_

"_Lily, I don't know you very well but I can tell by your behaviour that if you don't tell her now you're going to have a hard time telling her later. Even harder time than you're having now." He gives me a sympathetic look._

_It doesn't take a genius like him to know that he's right. "Do you think I should tell her?"_

"_Do _you_ think you should?" He asks, emphasizing the first 'you'._

"_Cam, can you stop being so shrinky and just answer my question?" I pause for a moment before adding a small please._

"_I don't think that shrinky," he uses air quotes around his last word, "is actually a word."_

"_You know what I mean. Can you please just answer my question because you know her better than I do and I really need to know if she's going to take this bad and freak out."_

"_Well are you going to freak out?"  
_

"_Well I'm going to be nervous, even more than I am right now. But unless she completely freaks out then I'll be fine. So Cam," I pause to give him a slight glare jokingly, "will you please answer my question."_

"_She's going to freak out," With his words my stomach drops. "But it's going to be an internal good type of freaking out, though." He quickly adds with a chuckle, as a look of relief almost immediately crosses my face._

"_So I should do this?" I ask nervously one more time just to be a hundred percent sure on my decision._

_Cam gives me a reassuring smile. "You should do this."_

* * *

"Geez, Brittany did you add bricks to this thing when we stopped at that convenience store and I went in to get you a Popsicle?" Santana asks as she lifts the suitcase out of the back of her SUV.

"Uh no, I leave my stash of bricks at home for Puck and Artie." I say with my tone completely serious even though I was only joshing her.

As she puts the suitcase down on the gravel driveway she turns around. The look of shock on her face was enough to make me giggle. "I'm kidding, Santana."

I take the suitcase and begin to roll it behind me as I head towards the cabin. As I reach the front steps I realize she is still standing there shell shocked and I can't help but smirk.

"Are you coming or not?"

* * *

_As I stand on the small patio outside JJ's house, waiting for someone to answer the door I can't help but feel knots in my stomach. I felt like a thirteen year old boy who's about to ask his best girl friend to their first junior high dance. I only realize I had begun pacing as the door opens once I reach the opposite side of the patio facing the edge of the street._

"_Lily?" The perplexed voice of JJ's mother now enters my conscience. This takes me by surprise causing me to trip over my own feet. _

_I hear a gasp which I assume has come from JJ's mom. I only respond as I land on the front lawn. "Uh, hi Mrs. Abrams." I say completely embarrassed which is probably supported the slight rosy blush now crosses my features._

"_Lily, honey, are you ok?" Her tone is worried and her words rushed as she hurries down the two steps to the front lawn. She sticks her hand out as for me to take, "Here, let me help you up."_

"_Thanks." I smile sheepishly as I take her hand as she helps pull me up off the ground._

"_Are you alright, Lily?" I only now notice that JJ's mom's face is flushed slightly as well._

"_Yeah, I'm fine. My clumsiness tends to get the better of me sometimes." I chuckle throw the pain I'm currently feeling._

_As Mrs. Abram goes to move her bangs out her face, something that JJ has picked up from her I'm sure, she stops and stares at her hand. She holds her hand out to me and I realize what's wrong. Her palm is smeared with blood, which I know is obviously mine._

"_I'm so sorry, I didn't realize," I begin to ramble out an apology but she cuts me short._

"_Don't worry about it, Lily. I think it would be best that you come in and clear out that cut because it does look particularly nasty." She gives me an apologetic look. _

_I only now look down at my hand to see that there wasn't just a small cut like you'd expect, it was more like a gash straight down the middle of my palm. "No wonder you're feeling pain, doofus." I think to myself._

"_I've been telling Artie ever since we've moved here that a rock garden among all this grass does not count at a garden. That man can be so stubborn so times." Mrs. Abrams smiles, the blush that was on her cheeks becomes more prominent for a moment._

"_It's okay I definitely didn't inherited my Mom's graciousness. Considering how clumsy I am sometimes I'm glad that I've never met my father, that man must be a complete wreck." I chuckle trying to make light of the situation and loosen the knots that my stomach was inevitably tied in._

_She gives me a sympathetic smile before chuckling herself. "Artie's got more than one first aid kit in the house, so we'll manage to clean that," she pauses for a moment, "I was going to say cut but that is definitely deeper than a simple little cut, huh?" She smiles._

"_I'll have to agree with you on that one." I chuckle nervously._

"_Come on, let's get you cleaned up before it starts to get infected." She says motioning for me to follow her as she walks up the patio steps. _

_As I step into the porch I can't help but be amazed. From the outside of JJ's house it did look quite large but I'm awestruck at the cathedral ceilings outlined with dark wooden beams which accent the red living room attached to the porch._

"_You can take a seat in the laundry room there." She opens a door on the wall adjacent to where I am standing to reveal an airy room with an island counter with a sink in the middle and two stools. I sit down on the stool closest to the door following her instructions."I'm sure you're not here to make small talk with me, so I'll get JJ for you."_

_Before I even get the chance to stop her out of anxiousness she's gone. I'm left alone with my nerves which I am sure are going to be the death of me._

* * *

**After unloading my SUV Brittany had decided she wasn't going to let me do anything, "I'm spoiling you this weekend. We haven't had 'us' time in a while and you deserve to just relax" is what she had said. We had been at the cabin for all of fifteen minutes before she had turned on the stove and started to make her Chicharrones, which she of course knew were my favorite.**

"**So what's new? I feel like I haven't had an actually conversation that wasn't about the kids in forever." I say as Brittany hands me a container of strawberry yogurt for dessert before taking a seat next to me on the patio.**

"**Hm, let's see." She says wrapping her arm around my shoulder, causing me to kick off my shoes and curl up next to her, resting my head against her. "You know Hannah, right?"**

**I nod my head in response, "The one whose always wanted to ride a bike right?" Hannah was one of Brittany's favourite students. She was born with a curved spine so everyday life was a little difficult for her but she always had a smile on her face.**

"**Yes, her. Well she had surgery on her spine at the beginning of last week and she's finally going to be able to ride a bike like normal kid." I can tell there's a wide smile on Brittany' face even though I'm not even looking at her.**

"**That's amazing, Britt. I bet she was so excited." I can't help but amazed at Brittany, her compassion is one for the books.**

"**She was more excited than I've ever seen her on her last day of school before the surgery. And you and I both know that's saying something. That girl is more smiley than I was when we were little."**

"**And that's partly because of you, don't forget that." I'm usually not the type to say that teachers we have a whole lot of control of someone's life but I know from hearing Brittany describe her job and what she does with the kids it was definitely partly because of her Hannah was so happy. Brittany always did her best to include Hannah in with the rest of the kids.**

"**Stop it." She says; I can hear the embarrassment in her tone.**

"**Fine." I giggle. "Do you want some of this yogurt?" I ask trying to relieve her embarrassment.**

"**You know I don't like yogurt."**

"**But it's strawberry, Britt-Britt. You love strawberries. It's not the icky vanilla kind that gives you a headache. It's great. Come on, have some." I turn around so that I'm holding a spoonful of yogurt in front of her face.**

"**I'm good, San." She gives me a look which assures me even more than she doesn't want anything to do with my yogurt.**

**Even so I continue to push her buttons because I know she's enjoying this just as much as I am. "Are you sure Britt? You're missing out." I pause for a moment, hearing her take a deep breath. "Fine then, more for me."**

"**Just give me some of the darn yogurt, Santana." She sighs, as she shakes her head in defeat.**

**I can't help but smirk at her attempt to resist me, and my strawberry yogurt, as I turn around even more, inching the spoon closer to her mouth. As she finishes the spoonful I notice a glob of yogurt on her upper lip. It takes everything I have not to giggle at my wife.**

"**Britt, must you always make a mess."**

**She looks as me curiously. "I don't see a mess, and you're the one with the spoon there anyhow Sherlock." **

**I lean forward and place my container of yogurt, which also contains the spoon Brittany was referring to, on the patio coffee table. I turn my body sideways as lean back. **

**I say as I lead towards her, "You've got yogurt right," I don't finish my sentence as I capture her lips with my own, removing the glob of yogurt in the process. "There." I say with a small smirk as I pull away.**

"**What is it with you and food lately?" Brittany chuckles as she wraps her arms around my waist pulling me closer.**

"**I just love food okay" I joke. "But you know what?" I try to make it look like I'm thinking harder than I actually am.**

"**What, Santana?"**

"**I love you even more." I smirk.**

**Brittany giggles slightly before placing a tender kiss on the top of my head. "I love you too, San."**

**Right now in this moment I can't believe I ever had a doubt about her and what I really wanted, I should have always known; her.**


	13. Twelve

This chapter is from Santana's, _Lily's, _and** Brittany's** perspective. I hope you guys enjoy!

Twelve. Ready To Love Again  
"I'm ready to feel now, no longer am I afraid to fall down.  
It must be time to move on now, without the fear of how it might end."  
- Ready To Love Again, Lady Antebellum

"_Lily!" I'm taken by surprise as I find JJ crouched down in front of me holding on to my wrists, a look of concern on her face._

"_Sorry, I didn't notice you came in." I give her a small smile._

"_I've been here for almost two minutes, Lily." She replies, the concern still present on her face._

"_Oh." I can feel the blush from my embarrassment being to creep up on my cheeks._

"_It's okay," JJ gives me a small smile, "Just as long as you're okay. Did you take your medication?"_

"_I did. I tend to get small seizures when I get really nervous or stressed out." I chuckle nervously. "I'm okay though."_

_She smiles yet again as she takes a seat on the stool next to me, letting go of my hands. "I thought Mom was only joking when she told me I'd need this." JJ chuckles slightly, motioning to the first aid on the counter._

"_I failed to mention the other night the fact that I'm quite accident prone." I can't help but wince as I unintentionally stretch my fingers out, consequently pulling my cut open wider._

"_Well I know now." She gives a sympathetic smile. "This is going to hurt." She says as she places the alcohol swab I only now notice she's opened on my palm._

_As pain shoots through my palm I bite my lip. "Don't worry, I know it hurts but I know what I'm doing."_

"_And I have no idea what I'm doing." I say without thinking; unfortunately I had inherited my Ma's quality of speaking without any input from my brain to attempt at stopping myself._

"_What?" JJ gives me a confused look as she puts the swab back the package it came from._

_I'm tempted to pass it off as nothing but a deal's a deal. I had to do this no matter how awkward and nerve wrecking it was._

"_I've got to talk to you. And I really shouldn't be doing this while you're fixing up my hand but if I don't say it now I'm never going to get it out." My words come out rushed and in all likelihood don't make any sense to her._

_JJ takes a deep breath as she looks at the first aid kit on the counter. She looks up at me as she takes out some bandages, gauze, and antiseptic ointment. "Okay, shoot." She gives me a reassuring smile that somehow makes the butterflies currently fluttering in my stomach go away._

"_You asked me what my most embarrassing moment was and I shied away from it, not wanting to talk about it. There's a reason why I didn't want to tell you." I take a deep breath before continuing; thankfully the smile on JJ's face doesn't fade. "I'm sure you've noticed that I don't have many friends other than Drew and Penny."_

"_Yeah, I kind of picked up on that." She chuckles slightly._

"_There's a reason for that. I used to have more friends, they were mainly my friends because they were friends with who I went out with but they were my friends none the less, if that makes any sense to you." I receive a small nod from JJ which prompts me to continue. "I went out with Casey for six months and she became my best friend, other than Drew of course," I can't help but stop and chuckle for a quick moment at the look on Drew's face when I started to rant somewhat this morning. "And I fell in love with her. I thought Casey and I were perfectly happy. Of course, I was wrong." I can feel the tears starting to form in my eyes._

"_Sadly I don't think you'd be sitting here if you were right." JJ says as she surprisingly places her hand on my knee for support._

"_I know, right?" I chuckle sadly with a sniff. "So anyway one day last May I decided to go to my physics class a few minutes early for some extra help because physics is the one science I wish would just disappear from the face of the earth." JJ chuckles causing me to pause for a moment. "So I knocked on the door and got no answer to I decided to go on in. As soon as I open the door I immediately regret it. Casey is there making out with my teacher, who also happens to be a man at least fifteen years older than her, and they're too into it to even notice that I'm standing there. Eventually the rest of the class begins to pile into the doorway and I'm standing there absolutely speechless." I can feel the tears begin to run down my face now as I look JJ straight in the eye._

"_The look on her face made my stomach churn. I couldn't stand to be there any longer staring at them like an idiot so I ran out of the room to my locker. After opening it I threw my physics books in the bottom of my locker and tore down every photo of me and Casey, ripping them in half. It eventually leads to me crumpling to the floor in tears and pretty much having a breakdown in the middle of the hall. Drew had to bring me home and I didn't come to school for almost a week. I learnt later that it was going on before we were even together, Casey and I were great friends before we even started dating, so the fact that I didn't know made me feel even more like an idiot. Turns out my ex-girlfriend didn't love me. She loved vintage cars."_

_The cries I've been holding back are now undeniable and escape my lips no matter how hard I try to stop them._

* * *

Brittany had gotten up and went into the cabin a few minutes ago, saying she had to get something a few minutes leaving me outside on the patio alone to ponder my own thoughts after she had finished telling me about her week.

She returns carrying a small material bag I recognize well from my drawer in our bedroom's ensuite at home. I had leaned back against the patio couch's arm as she left earlier causing her take a seat, pulling her feet into my lap. Brittany gives me a grin as she places the bag in my lap.

"I know that you do it at home to relax, so I thought maybe I could do it for a change?" She asks somewhat sheepishly with slightly blush beginning to creep across her face.

"What did I ever do deserve such a thoughtful wife?" I smile as I learn forward to place a kiss on Brittany's cheek. "Of course you can. I'll even let you pick the color." I chuckle.

"Santana, how do you always make me seem like I'm a five year old?" Brittany laughs. "Seriously, you'll let me pick?" She emphasizes the word 'let', trying to prove her point.

"Well I could just not let you do it at all and go take a nap," I too emphasize the word 'let' just as she did, trying to get a rise out of her.

"Oh grow up Santana." She playfully slaps my leg before opening my bag to reveal my toe separators and numerous bottles of nail polish.

"Well just pick a color, Brittany." I chuckle as I lean back against the arm of the patio couch, closing my eyes. "Hey that tickles" I laugh as she places the separators between my toes.

"If you don't stop moving soon you're going to have nail polish on more than just your toes, San." Brittany says with false seriousness, I had picked up quickly when Brittany was fooling around and trying to fool me.

"Oh sure, Brittany. I thought a dancer as such as yourself would have better hand-eye coordination." I say countering her fake seriousness with my own.

"Well I thought that you of all people would know I'm good with my hands." Brittany says. I don't need to see her face to know that she's smirking suggestively like a teenage boy.

"Britt!" I open my eyes and lean forward as I can't resist the urge to slap her across the arm.

"What? Did I say something?" She looks at me as if she has no idea what I was going on with.

"Oh yes, little Miss Innocent." I roll my eyes as I lean back. "Just pick a color, Brittany, just pick a color."

* * *

"_So that, that would have to be my most embarrassing moment." I manage to get out through my blubbering._

_Within an instant I'm in shock. JJ gets up off her stool and wraps her arms around me pulling me into a hug. I don't say anything, I simply can't. I know I should but it is as if I've forgot to speak._

_As she pulls away JJ gives me a reassuring smile. "I'm not generally a huggy person but after that you definitely deserved a hug." _

_My only reaction is to chuckle, it seemed like such an inappropriate thing to do but it was the only thing available to come out of my mouth._

"_You honestly didn't have to tell me that. I would have let it go, you know?" She says as she sits back down on her stool, taking my hand and begins to rub some antiseptic ointment on it with a q-tip._

"_I know you would have but I told you because you need to know that in order to understand me. You need to know that because I want you to know how I think. And right now I think that you have no idea what I'm going on with." I chuckle with a sniff as I close my eyes in frustration; thinking I'm not making any sense._

_Again, I'm taken by surprise as I feel a soft, warm hand on my cheek wiping away the last ears running down my face. Opening my eyes I find JJ's ice blue eyes looking into mine._

"_I have somewhat of an idea." She says continuing to smile at me._

"_You do?" I can't help but ask because I currently feel like such an idiot. _

"_I do." JJ says as slowly takes her hand from my face._

"_So I'm not crazy and this isn't all in my head?" JJ just nods in response, causing me to continue. "So now you see why I was acting like a moron and being extremely nervous so I blanked out with a seizure?"_

"_I definitely don't think you're a moron." She giggles causing a smile to cross my own face in return. "And I definitely think that you should continue with what you were saying because I have a feeling that that wasn't all of what you wanted to say."_

* * *

"Okay, all done." My wife says cheerfully as she pulls the toe separator out from between my toes. "Be careful because they're not dry yet."

"Okay, who's treating who like a kindergartener now?" I smirk as I lean forward to see what color she has picked.

"Oh shush, you." Brittany sticks her tongue out at me as she closes the bag containing my pedicure set.

I can't help but chuckle as I notice what color she's picked. It's a bright red that is almost the same shade as the guitars on my scrub cap. It also brings me back ten years previous in my memory.

"Mami!" The voice of four year old Lina is the first thing I hear as I shut the door exiting the garage entering the porch as I come home from work.

A small body of who I assume is Lina collides with my shins, wrapping her arms tightly around my legs. "Hey baby! How was your day?" I ask cheerfully while I balance my bag on arm as I bend down to pick her up.

"I had a lot of fun with Maria and Tommy at daycare. When Momma picked us up we went to that place with all the v-ve," Lina stops, stumbling over a word. I immediately know what she's talking about so I decided to give her a hand so doesn't feel embarrassed. Lina was extremely intelligent for her age, she was able to name all fifty states but for some odd reason she always had trouble with the word vegetables.

"You mean vegetables, right sweetie?" I give her an encouraging smile.

"Yes, v-ve." Sadly she still is unable to pronounce it.

"Try and sound it out. Vege" I give her first syllable.

"Vege." She slightly smiles as she repeats what I've said.

"Ta"

"Ta." The smile grows a little bit more, beginning to show off her dimples.

"Bles."

"Bles."

"Now put them together, vegetables."

"V-vegetables." She stutters slightly but is able to get it out.

"See there you go. Give me five." I smile holding out my hand for her to give me a high five.

The smirk on her face doesn't dissipate as she slaps my hand. As she pulls her hand away I feel a slightly sticky substance on my fingers. I look at my hand to see nail polish on my fingers.

"Can Mami see your fingers, sweetie?" I ask curiously.

Lina holds her fingers out proudly. Her fingers up to the first joint are cover in fire engine red nail polish that is still wet. I don't get a chance to make any comments or inquire further about the nail polish as Brittany walks into the room.

"Welcome home." She gives me a quick kiss on the cheek as she takes my bag from my shoulder. "How was your day, San?"

"Yeah, Mami did you fix any boo-boos?" Lina asks excitedly.

"My day was great, thank you for asking." I return the favour kissing Brittany then Lina on the cheek before beginning to make our way further into the house. "And yes, sweetie, I did fix some boo-boos today. How about you go play with brothers and sister while Momma and I make dinner, okay?" I give Lina a smile as I put her down as we reach the kitchen.

I don't have to tell her twice. Lina scurries out of the room to the living room off the kitchen. As soon as she's out of earshot I look at Brittany with a confused look before speaking. "Would you care to explain why our four year old daughter has my nail polish on her fingers and not just her fingernails?"

I now make my way to the sink, turning it on to rid my hands of any nail polish that had managed to cling to my fingers. I don't receive an answer from Brittany until the water is shut off. I turn around to find her grinning from ear to ear chuckling like I had just said something highly amusing.

"Our kids are amazing you know that?" She says as she walks over to me, placing her hands on either side of me so I'm slightly pinned between her and the counter.

"I know that, silly but that doesn't explain why Lina has on the same amount of nail polish on one finger that I'd use for at least three fingers." I chuckle slightly, as the sight of the look of pride on my daughters face crosses my mind.

"When we got home from the market after I picked her and Tommy up from daycare I told her that after we picked up Nik and Lily from their play date and we got home we'd have time to do one thing fun before you got home and we had supper. So I asked her what she wanted to do and she had said that she wanted to paint her nails. I had never her seen her interested in anything to do with nail polish or makeup before so I decided to humour her and told her that we could to that when we got home. When we got home and I had put down a place mat on the kitchen table I asked her what color she wanted. I had expected her to pick either pink or neon green, but no, she had chosen the fire engine red. So I unscrewed the top and was about put the first coat on, as soon as I came close to her with the brush she pulled away. I looked at her curious and asked her why she pulled away."

Brittany pauses for a moment and chuckles to herself, if it's possible the smile on her face grows even wider.

"She had said that wanted to do it herself because she wanted to be pretty like you. I smiled at her and said that she was already pretty and didn't need nail polish to make her pretty. This is the best part; do you know what her reply was?"

I can feel slight tears beginning to prick at the corners of my eyes. I slowly nod my head in response because I have no idea what my daughter had said.

"She looked up at me with the most innocence in her voice you could imagine and said, 'I do need it, because it's not fair.' I of course was more than slightly confused but I let her continue on. She said 'It's not fair that everyone says we have the same eyes so I'm pretty like you. It's not fair to Mami so I want to put on my own nail polish so I can be pretty like Mami and you.'"

With Brittany's story of my daughter's words I begin turn to goo; the tears that had been pricking in my eyes are now rolling down my face surely creating mascara trails in their wake.

"Catalina really said that?" I say in almost disbelief at my daughter's wise words.

Brittany wipes away tears from my eyes. She looks me directly in the eye before speaking again.

"She did. But you know what? That kid's got your heart and that's all she'll ever need to be beautiful to me or anybody else in this world." Brittany's words are added euphony to my ears.

She places a tender kiss on my forehead and whispers. "I love you, Santana."

"I love you too, Britt-Britt." I wrap my arms around her waist, making the space between us smaller so that I can feel her warmth; not only from her skin, but also from her breathtaking heart.

* * *

"_You're going to make me say it aren't you?" I can feel the blush rising to my cheeks._

"_You got that right." JJ chuckles with a smirk as she begins to rap my hand with gauze._

"_I'm the type of person who puts fifty foot walls around me to protect myself from getting hurt even more after something happens to me. But you, you come here with your adorable smile and amazing blue eyes and make me turn to goo." I immediately begin to smile involuntarily "I know that I've known you for less than a week but there's just something there. I feel it, and I can tell by the look on your face you do too."_

_The small smirk that was on JJ's face has grown so that she is almost smiling from ear to ear. _

"_All I know about you it what I've learnt from the past five days and I've liked what I've heard. And I want to know more, half the fun is getting to know the other person, right?" I chuckle, truly hoping I'm not sounding like a rambling idiot. "So, would you like to go on a date with me?"_

* * *

**As Santana and I walk into the house the first the first thing we notice is the sound of Lily's voice echoing through the house. "Tiene que me estar bromeando! Mi soy yo tal idiota?" **

**Santana gives me a look of concern as she shuts the door behind her. "Lily, honey?" Santana calls out to Lily. We only receive a loud bang from the kitchen.**

**I give Santana a look before putting down my bag and heading for the kitchen. Santana takes me hands and follows me to the kitchen. We find Lily standing in the middle of the kitchen wearing a pair of oven mitts holding onto a dish that I assume has just come out of the oven.**

"**Can you pick that up please?" Lily voice is slightly raised now as she nods down at the floor. I only now notice that there is a cooling rack on the floor. I pick it up and put it on the counter. "Thank you." Lily lets out a sigh of relief as she swiftly places the dish on the cooling rack.**

"**Lily, what are you doing?" Santana pipes in from behind me. I only now notice that my daughter is only wearing a bra and a pair of khaki cargo shorts, her hair gently curled into darn near perfect waves.**

**Lily swiftly pulls of her oven mitts, tossing them on the counter. "I thought you guys weren't supposed to be home until tomorrow?"**

"**We decided to come home early so that we could see your brother's game tomorrow afternoon." Santana replies before I get the chance to. "But that doesn't answer my question." Santana looks at her curiously.**

"**I'm running late, that's what I'm doing." She says as she looks down at her watch.**

"**Late for what? Why are you cooking if there's no one here?" I realize the probable answer as the words escape from my mouth but I decided to hear it from her to be sure.**

"**I didn't think you guys were coming back so I invited JJ over." I can't help but notice the slight blush that crosses her cheeks at her words.**

"**And you plan on wearing that?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.**

"**No, Mom" She scowls slightly. "I said earlier I'm running late. JJ is supposed to be here," she pauses for a moment as she glances back down at her watch, "right now."**

"**Is this a date thing or just a friend thing? If it's the former we'll get out of your hair right, Britt?" Santana says almost innocently as she walks up close to me, intertwining our arms as if to soften me up.**

"**Honey, she's making quiche, Lily never makes quiche. This is definitely a date." I give Lily a smirk. "Go put on a shirt and I'll finish up here." **

"**Thank you." Lily looks at me as if I've just told her I've bought her a life supply of paints.**

"**No problem, mija. Just have a good time okay?" I say before giving her a quick kiss on the forehead. **

"**Mom and I will be watching a movie in our room if you need us." Santana smiles, then glances at me.**

**Lily gives us a grin, showing off her dimples. "I probably don't say this often enough but you two. Best parents ever." She says quickly before practically running out of the kitchen. **

**Santana leans up and gives me a kiss on the cheek. "Our kids? Best kids ever." She smirks.**

"**So are you going to help me or you going to snacks for the movie we're apparently watching?" I ask curiously. **

**It honestly didn't surprise me that Santana hadn't opted for going out to dinner tonight considering Lily obviously had a very important date. Out of the two of us Santana was the one who was most protective over the kids; she was a complete momma bear. I remember actually having to restrain her from saying some, what I'm assuming weren't going to be anything close to pleasant, words to Casey when she saw her at the grocery store around a week after she and Lily broke up. So it wasn't a shock to see that she wanted to be here just in case something happened, even though I was quite sure myself that nothing of the sort would.**

"**I think I better let you hand that," Santana giggles. "You know that snacks are my forte." **

"**I do know that." I chuckle giving her a quick kiss on the top of her head. "Don't forget the seasoning on the popcorn." I smirk.**

"**After almost thirty five years of getting us snacks you think I could forget that?" She gives me a look that slightly resembles a glare.**

"**Well you did last week." **

"**Just give it a rest, Britt." She shakes her head as she lets go of my arm and begins to walk away.**

"**You know you love me." I half yell with a chuckle as she enters the pantry off the kitchen, a smile crossing my face.**

"**Whatever, Brittany, whatever." Despite her words I can tell by the tone of her voice that she's smiling just as wide as my own.**

* * *

_Looking into my almost perfectly organized closet I can't help but feel slight unease. I had invited her over for dinner and feels like I haven't done this in forever so I had no idea what to wear. Was she going to get slightly dressed up or was she going to take it as a casual thing? _

_As hear the door bell ring I settle for a red dress shirt, choosing to not tuck it into my shorts to keep things somewhat casual. Straightening out my shirt, I rush out of my room, truly hoping that I would get to answer the door before either of my parents got to it before me._

_Opening the front door I'm fairly certain there is a look of relief that crosses my face for a moment, swiftly being replaced by nerves and jitters again. JJ is dressed in a pair of grey skinny jeans, a charcoal grey and black flannel plaid long sleeve shirt over a white camisole, set off with black matte flats. _

"_You look beautiful." She says with a small smile as my eyes finally meet hers, a slight blush creeping up on her pale cheeks. As she looks me in the eyes I feel as if my heart has skipped a beat._

_I can't help but chuckle at her. "Well I could say the same thing about you." I give her the classic Lopez grin, making her giggle._

"_Thank you. I didn't know if you wanted me to bring anything so I hope you like apples." JJ says._

_I can't help but give her a slightly look of confusion before my internal questions are answered. She holds out a bottle resembling that of a wine bottle to me. As I look more carefully I notice the words "Sparkling Apple Juice"._

"_I don't drink so," JJ voice is now giving away her nervousness I hadn't notice until now._

"_I don't either, and personally, I love this stuff." I give her a genuine wide smile as I take the bottle from her._

_A small, innocent smile crosses JJ's face causing butterflies to flutter in my stomach as I begin to retreat from the door. _

"_Well that's good because my brother thinks I'm nuts for liking it. I'm glad someone else is in the same boat." She giggles slightly as she follows me into the house._

"_I know, my Abuela is Catholic and always try to get me to drink wine at Christmas but I always pass and go straight for this," I motion to the bottle in my hand, "instead."_

"_I know the feeling" JJ laughs again._

_The closer we get to the dinning room the more surprised I am to find that the nervousness I had been feeling has dissipated. I'm truly hoping that this isn't just a momentary lapse; I really do not need to be a rambling, nervous moron the rest of the night._

* * *

"**I'm soon going to have to go out there and tell them to be quieter because I'm going to miss my favorite part." Santana pouts before taking a large bite out of her twizzler as she presses pause on the DVD player remote. She does so in response to an outburst of laughter erupting from outside our room in the dinning room just down the hall.**

"**San, its Speed, how many times have you seen this movie? A hundred or two, more than likely." I say, as I tighten my hold on her; careful not to knock over the bowl of popcorn between us.**

"**I know but this is the best part!" She is nothing less than persistent as she takes another angry bite out of her twizzler. **

"**I know, sweetie. But you really wouldn't rather watch Annie get handcuffed to a pole by Payne than let our daughter have what seems to be a good time on her first date would you?" I whisper in her ear, fully well knowing it was one of her weak spots when she needed to be calmed down.**

"**I guess not." She says before finishing off the poor twizzler that never had a chance. "I hope she really is having a good time. It's been way too long since I've seen her get all embarrassed and goofy over someone."**

"**See, that's what I'm talking about." I chuckle. "It's really great to see her like that again. I think JJ will be good for her don't you think?" I ask as I take a twizzler from the package in her hand.**

"**Hey!" Santana slaps by hand playfully. "Those are mine, you have you're icky old popcorn!" I can tell her tone she's only kidding.**

"**Hey, popcorn is good for you thank you very much." **

"**I'm sure, Britt-Britt, I'm sure." She says sarcastically. "But I would have to agree with you on the other thing. We don't know JJ very well but from what I've seen from her she seems to be really great."**

"**Let's just hope that stays that way." I smirk, "I really don't want to have to hold you back from attack another teenage girl ever again." I give her a quick kiss on the temple before taking a bite out of my twizzler.**

"**Me too honey, me too." She gives me a content smile that makes butterflies flutter around in my stomach like a teenage girl. "She hasn't been able to trust anybody other than people she's known her whole life since Casey. So I really hope she's going to be able to trust her."**

"**If she can't trust her than we're going to have to show her how trust people again. Deal?" I ask my wife.**

"**Deal." She says with a dimpled smile.**

**As I notice that the laughing from outside our bedroom has stopped I take the remote from Santana. "Shall we continue?" I say with a smirk.**

"**Yes, we shall. This is my favorite part." Santana's tone is almost childlike now; making a goofy grin automatically cross my face.**

"**I know, dear." I chuckle, pressing the play button before Santana gets riled up or the laughter from my daughter and her date starts again.**

* * *

"_Are you serious? You said you were your team's MVP but I didn't realize that meant you were THAT good." I say in slight shock before taking a sip of my sparkling apple juice._

"_I am THAT good." JJ giggles. "We won the state championships the three years I went there for boy's baseball and I won two state championships with the girl's team. None of us played the second half of junior year. There was an accident that injured some of our players and killed our coach." JJ's tone has changed from playfully arrogant to being tainted with what appears to be sorrow._

"_I'm sorry you all had to go through that." The words are out of my mouth before I even get a chance to think about what I was saying._

"_That's not the worst part of it. You told me something important that made you the person you are now. So it's only fair that I return the favour correct?" JJ's voice is the most serious I've heard since that day at the hospital before we found out Cam was alive and well._

"_Like I said the other day I want to know everything about you that you're willing to tell me." I give her a soft smile, laying my hand on top of hers on the table for a moment, in an attempt to comfort her._

"_We were on our way to a tournament in Cincy for the weekend and both of my parents had to work. Our coach coached us all the way up from little league so they said it was okay for me to travel with the coach and the female chaperone who happened to be his wife with some other players in their minivan." Jess pauses and takes a deep breath as if to prepare herself for what she's about to say. "You know that cliché teenage movie where the star player dates the coach's daughter?"_

"_I would have to say I do." I say hesitantly, aware of where she could possibly be going with this._

"_Well that was my life. Things weren't all hunky dory but that was life until that day." She pauses once again and looks me in the eye. I can now see the pain behind them but I can also see what one would describe as hope. _

"_Elise was our coach's daughter and one killer short stop. We had been dating for exactly a year and a half on the day of the accident. We dealt with the glares, awkward smiles, and looks of fear or disgust from parents or players on the opposing teams as we held hands in the stands while watching other teams play or when we were at bat and she would sit on my lap in the dugout waiting to be on deck then gave me a kiss on the cheek before leaving when she was up. She was the one who held me when I broke down because my grandpa was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. We had been through a lot together but everything changed that day. We were struck by a 22 year old guy who decided to pretty much have a solo drag race on a busy street in the middle of day. Elise had been sitting in the middle between me and her best friend in the middle section of the van. I was sitting on the passenger side. We were T-boned to the driver's side and flipped twice. It took them almost a half an hour to get us out. I was the only who was partially conscious. I'm thankful that they didn't have to consciously suffer through their pain and witness mine." _

_Looking at JJ I now notice that her eyes are filling with tears. In her eyes I can see sorrow and the pain that the accident has caused her._

"_The accident resulted in my coach dying on impact, Elise's best friend losing the ability to walk, and the rest of us," _

_She shakes her head, hanging it, never once looking at me. She pulls her hand out from underneath mine and stands up out of her chair. She slowly, almost hesitantly removes her long sleeve flannel shirt to reveal her arms "We received shrapnel wounds and lacerations. With some of us it was on more than just our bodies."_

_I can't help but be some what in shock. JJ has areas of scar tissue adorning her arms, covering approximately thirty percent of each of her arms. "There's loads more where they came from." She says pulling her hand up to show her neck. "The side of her neck also has a long, thin scar down its length. "They were amazed I was still conscious when they got me out. They were even more amazed that I hadn't bled out."_

_She sighs slightly as she goes to put her shirt back on, she has one arm almost in the sleeve before I stop her without thinking. "Don't." JJ finally looks up from the ground, looking me in the eye. The tears that were once forming in her ice blue eyes are now sliding slowly down her face. "You don't need it." I can feel the blush creeping across my face. I now know the reason why how when there was a rare sunny day over twenty degrees Celsius when I went to visit JJ's house she was wearing a long sleeve shirt._

"_The pressure of Elise's body against me stopped me from bleeding out that day. She saved my life. Yet after that day she didn't trust me, she didn't trust her mother, she didn't trust anyone. Elise didn't trust the things she needed the most. She turned into someone I didn't even recognize. That's why I am the way I am with people I care about, that's why I don't give up. It's because I don't want what happened to Elise to happen to any of the people who mean something to me. That's why I'm glad you took the chance to tell me about Casey."_

_In this moment even with tears in her eyes and christening her cheeks with mascara tinted tear stains she is the most beautiful I've ever seen her. I can see her breathtaking character shine through the pain, making her strong like Atlas, who carried the world on his shoulders. _

_I hesitantly stand up from my own chair. I take a step towards her; her eyes and mine never parting glances. "You're beautiful, inside and out." I wrap my arms around her, pulling into a quick hug for a moment before pulling away with a soft smile. "Don't ever forget that."_


	14. Thirteen

This chapter will be written from Santana's, _Lily's, __**Nik's**_ and **Brittany's **point of view. I hope you guys enjoy! =D

Thirteen. Vindicated  
"And I am flawed but I am cleaning up so well  
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself."  
- Vindicated, Dashboard Confessional

I awake to the sound of Brittany's soft snoring filling my ears. I wipe the sleepiness from my eyes; the rare sunshine is beaming in through the open blinds consequently causing me to shut my eyes again in shock. I carefully open my eyes once again, guarding them with my hand, and look at the clock to see that it is nine forty eight in the morning. I can't help but smile slightly realizing I would be the one to wake Brittany this morning rather than vice versa as it usually has been since my father's death a month ago.

Rolling over carefully the slight smile on my face grows. The sunlight is framing Brittany's face, accenting every feature. I slowly lift my hand up to her face, brushing her hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear.

"Britt-Britt." I whisper, giggling slightly at her reaction.

Her eyelids flutter and she slightly wrinkles her nose. Her eyelids open slowly to reveal her stunning blue eyes that never seem stop being a safe harbour. "Good morning, gorgeous." I say, placing a kiss on tip of her nose.

"Well good morning to you too," Brittany smirks before wrapping her arm around my waist pulling me closer so that she can give me a quick good morning kiss. "So what's the plan for today, Dr. Lopez?" She says with a smirk.

"Nik's soccer game is at eleven thirty, am I correct?"

"Yes, you are correct."

"Well I was thinking peanut butter toast and turkey bacon for breakfast, maybe some eggs. The boy's got to have some protein before the game." I chuckle. "You going to help me?"

"Affirmative." Brittany says with a smile before beginning to pull down the bed sheets. "I'm sure Lily's already up and I'm also sure that you want to get the dirt on how her date went last night."

"Why are you so sure of that?" I give her a confused look in an attempt to hide my curiosity.

"Because I'm curious, and you're more like me than you think when it comes to the kids." She chuckles. "Tell me you're not the least bit curious."

The smile I've been trying to hold back burst through and my dimples become prominent. "Fine, you caught me. Now, can we get on with the morning? Because I seriously think I need to wake up as much as possible even if I'd rather lay here and be lazy with you all day." I ask, squinting slightly due to the sun shining into my eyes.

"I think that can be arranged." She says with a smirk.

Before I know it I'm being hauled out of bed by Brittany. As I collide with her body she almost immediately begins tickling my sides, fully knowing it was one of the better ways to make me completely awake.

"Britt!"

* * *

"_Yum, something smells good." I say as I enter the kitchen, taking a seat at the bar top counter. "Whatcha makin'?" _

_My mother set of raven curls pop out from behind the open fridge door. "What does it look like silly? I'm making breakfast." She says with a wide smile as she shuts the fridge door._

"_I know that but I was wondering about the specifics. Eggs? Toast? You know what I mean Ma." I chuckle as she walks over to the counter._

"_We're having peanut butter toast and turkey bacon." Mom's voice enters my conscious as she enters the kitchen from behind me, causing me to jump slightly. "Relax, there mija." She chuckles slightly before placing a quick kiss on top of my head on her way farther into the kitchen._

"_Pulling out all the protein stops for Nik I see." I giggle, "I'm sure that was your idea wasn't it Ma?" _

"_You know me so well, Lily. Every pediatrictian knows that growing boys need their protein." Ma gives me a dimpled smile as she begins to unwrap the turkey bacon. "You want to help?"_

"_Don't I always?" I smirk before hopping off the stool._

"_You sleep well last night?" Ma asks as she begins to toast the bread._

"_Yes, I did actually." I say, I can feel the blush from remembering last night's events._

"_The date with JJ went well I take it?" Mom cuts in._

"_Yes, that was good too." I say taking a few pieces of turkey bacon and place them in the pan._

"_So spill," Mom giggles. "You know that we both want to know all about it."_

"_I had a lot of fun and I actually learnt a lot about JJ." I say as I take spatula and flip the bacon. I'm hoping the sizzling will distract my parents enough to drop the subject because as much as I liked JJ, it felt kind of awkward discussing our date with my moms._

"_Well that's great. You two were doing a lot of laughing, and I do mean a lot." Ma says with a chuckle. _

_I laugh nervously before replying, "She's really funny. She doesn't come across as the comedian type but she is actually hilarious. She'd give you a run for your money, Ma."_

"_I'd like to see that sometime, if you let me. And your Mom of course." Out of the corner of my eye I can see my Ma giving me a content smile._

"_Well, I can't see why not." The smile on my Ma's face surprisingly has a calming effect on me._

"_I have an idea." Mom cuts in cheerfully. "Why don't you invite JJ to watch Nik's game with us?" _

"_Good idea, Mom, in theory that is." _

"_Why?" She gives me a confused look, slanting her head slightly like a little kid. I would have to say Mom's childlike antics were quite endearing. They had definitely had helped make my childhood as great as it was._

"_Mom, our first date was last night."_

"_And?" She stills ceases to see my point._

"_She doesn't want to come across as clingy, Britt." Ma says to my mother, thankfully I wasn't the one who had to say it._

"_I talked to you the morning after our first date." Mom replies as the toast pops out of the toaster, almost causing me fling bacon everywhere._

"_Britt, do remember the conversation we had after our first date?" My Ma raises her eyebrow slightly as she pulls the toast out of the toaster before shoving, and yes I do mean shoving, more slices of bread in._

"_Yes, I do. It had to do with sandwiches." Mom picks up a piece of bread and waves it in front of Ma's face._

"_You guys talked about sandwiches?" I look at my parents in disbelief._

"_Yes, Lily, we did talk about sandwiches."_

"_But you don't even like sandwiches." I had got more than slightly confused at this point. I ceased to see how sandwiches had anything to do with me not wanting to come across as clingy or needy to JJ._

"_My point exactly." Mom gives me a wide dimpled smile, further confusing me._

"_Brittany dear, our daughter doesn't know the entire story so I think you're really confusing her." Ma says with a chuckle._

"_Sorry, Lily. I'll actually tell the story so that you get the point." My Mom began to tell me the story of my parents first date and the aftermath. "… So your Ma said 'I am scared, and I am exhausted from putting up a front of being such a badass Britt. I'm working on trying to best I can for you but I need a break. I love being your girlfriend but I wanted to stay in last night.' So my head is spinning and I'm feeling like complete idiot. She then said 'But, you wanted to go to the only fancy, if Breadstix even counts as fancy, restaurant in town. I can't do that. I can't.'"_

"_And I felt like a complete mess but that didn't matter. It didn't matter because do you know what your Mom said to me?" Ma pauses for a moment, almost as if it was for dramatic effect. I can't help but notice that she glances and Mom with a smile. "She said 'It's okay. I love you and if you feel comfortable staying and having dates at my house or ours then that's okay. So we'll stay in and eat sandwiches.' and I replied with what you said about her not liking sandwiches. She countered with 'But I like the girl who has the sandwiches.' She do you see your Mom's point?"_

"_I think." is all I can say, as I am still trying to see how it connects with my current situation._

"_If you really like JJ, which I think you do," Mom says with small giggle, "then don't play games. Just call her and ask her to come if you want to. Don't do go around in chase each other in circles only to end up now where like we did for years sweetie. Just follow what your heart tells you, it knows what it wants." _

_Ma shakes her head before putting in her own two cents worth. "I turned your Mom down twice, so I decided try and impress her and make up for my mistake when I knew better. I did that instead of doing what actually would have been better for the both of us. I played the game."_

"_Thankfully, your Ma doesn't play games any more. I smartened her up." Mom chuckles, wrapping her arm around Mom._

"_I think I get your point." I say with a chuckle. "And I think I'll give her a call."_

"_So do you actually like soccer or do you just watch because your brother plays?" JJ asks as we pull into the soccer pitch parking lot._

_I had called JJ after eating breakfast with my parents and siblings. My parents, Nik, and Lina had come in my Ma's SUV. Tommy had opted to stay home and tinker with Mom's Dodge Charger; Tommy had inherited Mom's grease monkey nature and liked to work any machine he could get his hands on._

"_It can be kind of boring to watch sometimes but I actually like watching it, playing is another story." I chuckle slightly. "My hands may be coordinated but my feet? Definitely not anymore. I could when I was younger and danced but I've lost any grace I once had. You should know that considering I've fallen at your house multiple times. You've got to have skill in more ways than one to be a good player in soccer." I say as I turn the keys in the ignition. _

_JJ turns to look at me giving me a confused look as we get out of my car. "I think I've missed something here."_

"_You know that painting in my dining room, the one adjacent to the kitchen?" I ask, forgetting that I didn't mention being artistic last night at dinner._

"_The one of the tree with the tire swing?" JJ replies correctly._

"_Yes, that one, it's of the tree in the front yard of my Ma's house growing up. She would always go there when she needed to think or just clear her head. I painted it for her birthday last year." _

_JJ locks at me in shock. "You did that?"  
_

"_I'm not a big fan of doing water colors but my Ma really likes them so I put my dislike for them aside and painted her one." I can feel the slight blush on my cheeks._

"_Woah, you are really talented. Do you just paint or?" She doesn't finish her question, obviously wanting me to finish it for her._

"_I draw as well. That's why I always carry that green notebook around all the time. I tend to doodle a lot in class and I used to ruin my notes so I eventually just got another notebook." I chuckle as we enter the opening to the stands. _

"_I've wondered about what's in there." JJ giggles with a smile._

"_Lily!" The voice of my younger sister, Catalina booms through the small crowd catching my attention. I turn my head to see my sister waving at me; she is sitting next to my Mom, who has Ma on the other side of her. Lina motions to the empty seats along side of my Ma which I assume they have saved for JJ and I._

"_Do you mind sitting with my family?" I ask hesitantly._

_JJ gives me reassuring smile that manages to make butterflies flutter in my stomach. "Do you think I that I'd be here if I did? Come on, we better sit before the game starts."_

_I can't help but be slightly shocked as I feel JJ's hand takes my own and begins to lead me up the stands towards my family; as a result a smile crosses my face and realization crosses my mind. My Mom had been right; I didn't have anything to worry about, all I had to do was do what was right for me and things would fall into place._

* * *

_**Leaning against the goal post stretching my legs while talking to a few other players on the team I notice the rest of my family arrive. Pulling my arm behind my head I hear a loud laugh attempting to be stifled.**_

"_**Something funny?" I ask giving a look of confusion to Lily's ex-girlfriend's brother. Josh Sullivan was a fairly nasty piece of work, he was that guy who tried to be funny but always cruel and was a jerk.**_

"_**Oh nothing." he replies with a devious smirk crossing his face.**_

"_**Spit it out, Sullivan." I was fairly certain what he was laughing about but I had to hear it from his mouth. My imprinted Lopez temper must have been showing because some of my teammates began to spread away from Josh and slowly moving towards me.**_

"_**I thought my sister had ruined girl on girl for me but I was just proven wrong." The smirk on his face grows, causing anger to course faster through my veins. "I thought Casey had messed your sister up really good. I didn't think she was ever going to bounce back. I was hoping she was turned off from chicks altogether so that I could get a chance to get some from her too. " He lets out a cackle to go with his devilish smirk.**_

_**Without even thinking I immediately lunge after him. As my body collides with his a yell from the stands makes me hesitate to make another move, "Nik!" My Mom's voice booms through the pitch.**_

_**As a result I receive a blow to the face.**_

* * *

"Nik!" Brittany's voice enters my conscious drawing my attention to my son getting punched in the face.

"Lopez!" Nik's coach yells across the field as he rushes over towards the goal posts to pull the two of them apart.

I have to hold Brittany back from practically jumping out of her seat. She looks back at me with her expression saying "Why the hell are you holding me back?"

"Wait." I say, almost whispering. "Give him a minute so calm down, and then we'll go." I give her look of reassurance followed be a smile. I knew from experience that it was best to give myself, and our kids who had my temper, a moment to blow off the steam before someone starts the questioning. As Nik begins to walk off the field, continuing towards us I give Brittany a nod.

"You guys stay here, we'll let you know if we're staying or not." Brittany looks at Lina then to Lily and JJ before taking my hand and pulling me up from my seat.

Reaching the sidelines I watch Nik spit the blood from his mouth before wiping the small trail running down his chin. "Nikolas Ashton Lopez, what the hell was that all about?" My use of language and tone is completely serious in attempt to hide the concern I'm feeling because I know that Nik made the first move.

"That was about Josh Sullivan being a complete pig." Nik says looking me straight in the eyes, not backing down as if to clarify that he had valid reason to go after him. There is also something about the look on his face that tells me there is something more to it than that; something about it that made it personal.

"Yes, Nikolas, we all know that. But that doesn't tell me why you lunged at him." I say, slightly surprised that Brittany hadn't said anything and was giving me the key point on this one.

"I won't repeat the things he said because it doesn't deserve my breath, Mom." Nik looks at Brittany for a moment, then back to the stands to where I assume his eyes have met the sight of my eldest daughter. The look of disgust and slight pain in his eyes made it apparent that yes, what that pig of a boy had said as bad as I thought it was. "If you dishonour my family, I protect my family the best way I can. He deserved it."

With his words Nik sounds so much like my father, full of dignity and pride. No matter how it seemed to other parents I could help but let go of Brittany's hand and pull my son into a quick hug. "Then I believe you." I give my son a reassuring smile as I pat him on the back.

"So I'm assuming this game isn't going be one you're playing in is it?" Brittany asks hesitantly.

"I don't so, Mom, I don't think so." Nik says, the pride in his voice beginning to deteriorate.

"In that case, let's blow this popsicle stand!" I say excitedly with a smile in attempt to cheer my son up.

"Ma, have I ever told you how crazy you are?" Mark chuckles.

"Maybe once," I smirk, happy to achieve my goal. "Or twice."

* * *

_**As I look back up into the stands as my Ma motions to the rest of my family and company to follow them because we were leaving I can't help but notice a familiar face. **_

_**My heart almost immediately drops into my stomach as a result. "Great Nik, you've just made yourself look like an ass." I think, hanging my head as we exit to the parking lot, unfortunately it's not before my sister takes notice. Lily looks back behind her to directly where I had been looking. "Great job, Nik, just great."**_

"_**So what was that?" Lily asks in a whisper, nearly scaring me to death as they meet up with us."**_

"_**You don't want to know." is all I say not wanting to dissolve her happiness. You could tell that she was happy, her hold on the redhead standing slightly behind her, who I had assumed was JJ's hand was evident of that.**_

"_**You didn't know that Emma was there did you?" is her next question and I honestly do not want to answer that one either so I say nothing. "Okay I'll drop it." She finally says the words I'm waiting for.**_

"_**Thank you." I say gratefully.**_

"_**I'd like to introduce you to someone," Lily says with a small smile, her infamous slight blush creeping up on her cheeks. "Nik, this is JJ." She motions from me to the redhead then vice versa. "JJ, this is my brother Nik."**_

"_**It's nice to meet you." JJ holds her hand out to me to shake and I honour the gesture.**_

"_**Likewise." I smile as I shake her hand. As I finish shaking her hand realization dawns on me, my hands are empty; I had left my bag on the end of the bench. "I hate to meet and run but I just realized I left my bag back there on the bench. I'll see you again, I'm sure." I pause to give her a small smile; I would have to say that JJ had a positive energy around her which I was sure was already wearing off on my sister.**_

_**And with that I'm off, back to face the rest of my team even if it was only for a moment. That moment was likely enough to draw the attention of those around me to myself. I can't help but hope that I would be stealthy enough to get in and get out without a hitch; right now that was all I wanted.**_

* * *

"**Santana, where are we going?" I ask impatiently, staring out the passenger window of Santana's SUV. After having Nik assure her for the hundredth time he was okay she had kidnapped me leaving the kids at home alone.**

"**You'll see." Santana smirks with a small laugh as she pulls out onto the highway.**

"**Uh uh, tell me. You know I don't like sitting in a car not knowing where I'm going." I turn my head, giving my full attention to Santana.**

"**And you know that I like surprises." She glances over for a moment, still continuing to give me a slightly devilish smirk.**

"**Well can you at least give me a hint?" I attempt to play with Santana's child-like side; fully well knowing it is likely it will work. "Please?" I give her a slight pout to give it more effect. **

"**Britt-Britt must you always be persistent?" She says in a joking scolding tone.**

"**Well it got me you didn't it?" I ask with a chuckle.**

**She doesn't speak for a moment, raising one of her hands to chin; looking after if she's thinking hard. "I would have to say you have a point there." **

"**Exactly." I nod with a content smile. My inner curiosity is now undeniable so I can't help but ask. "So can I have a hint now?"**

* * *

"_So do you want me to drop you back to your house on my way home or?" I don't finish my question because I'm not sure what JJ is thinking considering what has just happened with Nik._

"_Well I have nothing to do for the rest of day until tonight so I'm up for anything." She smiles as we pull out of the soccer pitch parking lot._

"_Well it's a good thing that I have nothing else to do either then isn't it?" I say with a slight laugh, blush creeping up slightly on my cheeks._

"_Definitely." JJ laughs along with me. "So do you have a CD player in this thing or rely on old Mister Radio?" _

"_Well Mister Radio is a good friend but I do have a CD player. My brother is a real grease monkey and loves music way too much so he installed it for me. He claims that even old muscle cars have to have a decent sound system and CD player just because they're old doesn't give them an excuse not too." I chuckle._

"_Nik? I can't see him as the grease monkey type. Then again I can be wrong about these things." JJ looks at me curiously._

"_Oh no, Nik's definitely not a grease monkey. My youngest brother, Tommy, loves cars practically as much as my Mom. I like to drive them, whilst Tommy and Moma like to drive and tinker until they're practically perfect. It must be a Pierce thing. This car used to be my Ma's, Mom fixed it up for her. My parents gave it to me for my sixteenth birthday." I smile as we approach an intersection. "So where to, you better make up your mind fast" I chuckle, staying in the middle lane so that I can move easily to either line along side of me._

"_Your place or wherever you want to go is good." She replies. "I would offer my place but my brother is coming home later so my parents are in shambles trying to get the place ready for him. I mean the place is wheelchair accessible but Cam's room used to be upstairs so things are in complete chaos."_

"_And I'm guessing you want to avoid the firecrackers?" I ask as I carefully pull into the left lane which leads towards my house._

"_I love my parents but when it comes to this they need to work it out themselves. So, I am all yours for the rest of the day until I have to go pick up Cam with my parents." I can detect a slight bit of embarrassment in her tone to match the blush that was edging her features as I glance back in her direction._

"_I like the sound of that." I chuckle as I pull into my street._

"_So what's the plan?"_

_I give her a nervous smile. "I'm sure we'll think of something."_

* * *

**As Santana steers the SUV down a highly familiar street I have a feeling I know where she's taking me. "San, why are we going to the hospital?" I ask as she passes the first exit to the parking lot. "You're not on call therefore we have no reason to go there right?" I'm now becoming slightly nervous.**

"**We're not going to the hospital, silly." She chuckles as she turns the corner onto another familiar street. "This is where we're going." **

**Santana parks on the side of the street parallel to the hospital, I don't even need to look to know where she's parked the car. It is outside our old apartment building; where we had originally lived there with Quinn. We had all lived there together for over three years, Rachel had moved in with us a few months after they had gotten back together after a year long break up. They moved out a few months later but we stayed there until we bought our dream house that we still live in.**

"**And why are we here exactly?" I can't help but ask curiously. I understood where we were but I didn't truly understand why.**

"**That's for me to know and for you to find out." She winks with a giggle. "Come on, Britt, out of the car." She says as she undoes her seatbelt before opening her door and hopping out of the vehicle. Getting out of the car I can't help but chuckle. My wife definitely was not predictable, her spontaneity was actually extremely endearing. **

**As I reach her side of the car Santana takes my hand and begins to lead me to the apartment building entrance. Upon reaching the front step Santana reaches her hand up to the buzzer ringing the buzzer on our old apartment as if it was years ago and I was home to let her in. To my surprise she receives a respond in the form of a loud buzz and the main door pops ajar slightly. **

"**Santana Lopez, what are you up to?" I shake my head as she pulls open the door.**

"**After you, mi cariño." Santana says bringing out her accent that she had seemed to lost over the years I've known her causing me to laugh as she holds the door for me.**

"**You Lopezes are always so charming, aren't you?" I chuckle.**

"**Of course we are." She giggles. "Now don't stand in the doorway all afternoon, querida." Her voice is still accented when she attempts to usher me into the foyer.**

"**Okay, I'll move, but only if you come with me." I smirk fully well knowing that I didn't even need to ask.**

"**You've got yourself a deal." She takes my hand once more and begins to lead further into the familiar building, still not knowing what my wife had up her sleeve.**

* * *

"_So what do you want to do today, JJ?" I ask as I lead her downstairs to the den._

"_I'm up for almost anything, just as long as it's legal of course." JJ giggles._

"_Don't worry, we'll keep it legal." I chuckle. "But are you sure you're up for anything, and I mean absolutely anything?" I say mysteriously as an idea pops into my head._

"_I think so." She says, almost bashfully._

"_Do you trust me?" As we reach the bottom step I turn around to look her in the eye; as my eyes meet her pale blue eyes I begin to melt almost instantly._

_She doesn't reply for a moment, but a smile slowly creeps across her face, causing butterflies to flutter in my stomach all over again. "I trust you."_

"_Then you're up for this." As nervous as I am right now to this I smile widely, taking her hand and begin to lead her towards my studio; hopefully this wasn't too early to bring her there._

* * *

"**This is where we're going." Santana says as she stops in front of the door to our old apartment; she takes my hand in hers, laying my hand on hers palm up.**

**Santana puts her hand into her coat pocket and produces a key; she lays it into the palm of my hand with a smile. I give her a look as if to ask should I open the door and I receive a small almost child like nod, the smile on her face never diminishing. I hesitantly take the key from my hand and place in the lock, as I turn the key I look at Santana because I'm still not quite sure what is going on.**

"**Go on, open it." Santana giggles slightly as she brings our hands down to our sides, intertwining our fingers.**

**I timidly push open the door. As the door opens it reveals a simplistic picnic basket, a bottle of wine and two glasses atop a thin classic chequered blanket; the blinds are drawn and the room is lit by various candles around the room. The apartment is bare besides for these fixings.**

"**San, what is all this?" I ask as Santana begins to lead me into the apartment. "How did you," She doesn't let me finish my sentence before she cuts me off.**

"**You know what tomorrow is don't you?" She asks with a small smile.**

**It now dawns on me what the date is. Tomorrow is our anniversary. It will be 32 years since Santana walked into that bathroom at Puck's and gave me the most breathtaking kiss I've ever had. Santana had also insisted a few years later that we would get married on that date because she thought it was impossible for any other date so mean so much to her. Tomorrow will be 25 years since I made Santana my wife.**

"**I do know." I say as she stops in her tracks and takes both of my hands just as she did that day she became my wife.**

"**I knew that I wouldn't get the chance to do this tomorrow so I wanted to do this today." Santana's voice is barely more than a whisper. "I wanted to come back here because this is the place where you made me see what I could have the rest of my life. It was here I that remember thinking to myself that I didn't want to wake up or fall asleep beside anyone who wasn't you. Right here, in the exact spot is where you told me that you were pregnant for the first time and I didn't think I could love you more. But boy was I wrong. Britt, I love you more and more every day and I'm so happy that I get to spend every day of my life with you."**

**She's now looking me straight in the eyes, causing me to see the tears that are now forming in hers. "San," I attempt to say something to her but I can't come up with words to express what I'm feeling.**

"**Brittany, I knew the day after our first kiss. I knew that day and every day after, every day we were together and every day we were apart. I knew it when we fought and when we danced. I always knew. I'm so in love with you, Brittany Susan Pierce, and I always will be." The tears that were once forming in her eyes are now streaming down her face. "Will you marry me?"**

"**But we're already married, San." I can't help but be confused.**

"**So marry me again. Marry me in front of all our family and friends, in front of our children. I want to show everyone how much I love you all over again because I love you even more today than I did yesterday and I'll love you even more tomorrow. **

**I let go of Santana's hands; I wrap my arm around her waist pulling her close, so that my forehead is gently pressed against hers. I lift my hand to her smooth caramel skinned face, placing my hand delicately on her cheek and wipe away her tears. **

"**Then of course I will." **

**Being this close now I can't resist Santana's amazingly fragrant lips, my lips meet with hers constructing a moment of bliss. The taste of her strawberry lip gloss and something that's distinctly Santana causes adrenaline to rush through my veins and my heart to pound in my chest. My body's need for oxygen soon becomes undeniable, it is only then do I pull away.**

**As I pull away I smile widely, taking a deep breath before speaking. "I'm in love with you too. I don't want to ever live a day without you, Santana Eulalia Lopez." I can't help but place another quick kiss on her smooth lips. "Plus it's only fair you get to propose now since I did it the first time." I smile widely.**

"**Oh Britt-Britt." She giggles; her breath warm against my cheek. "What did I ever do to deserve someone as amazing as you?"**

* * *

_**After reassuring my mother numerous times that I was okay I had ventured downstairs to the den, hoping to escape the slight mess I'd made. I had switched on my Xbox 360; I had definitely picked up my gaming fix from watching my Mom play growing up. Resident Evil had been part of my cure for everything since the beginning of high school. **_

"_**You've got to be kidding me!" I growl as the television screen goes black. **_

"_**Ah!" Screams come from my sister's studio next door as the lights go out.**_

_**I get up off the couch, tossing my controller down behind me, and make my way out to the hall off the den. "Lily?" I call out to my sister knowing she probably just got one of the frights of her life.**_

"_**Nik, what's going on?" Lily calls back as she slowly opens her studio door. **_

_**As she opens the door she reveals herself and JJ who are standing in paint stained smocks, holding darts. I can manage to pick them out by the small amount of light streaming into the basement window."I should be asking you the same thing. Darts, Lily, really?" I say sarcastically.**_

"_**Yes, Nik, darts. See." She moves away from the doorway to expose large canvas decorated with colored balloons which I assume are filled with various colors of paint. **_

"_**Abstract much?" I chuckle, giving my older sister a classic Lopez grin.**_

"_**You very well know I like abstract art." She retorts with a smirk of her own.**_

"_**I like abstract too." JJ pipes in, giving me a small genuine smile that is laced with sympathy causing my stomach to churn slightly. **_

"_**Well I'll go check on that. I think a fuse blew. Your lights in here with the power from the TV and my Xbox as well as whatever the heck Lina is doing upstairs are enough to do that." I say, my smirk now faltering as I leave.**_

"_**Thanks Nikky!" I hear Lily call out as I reach the top of the stairs to head for the garage to check the fuse box; normally I would call back down the stairwell but right now I simply can't bring myself to call out and tell her she's welcome.**_

* * *

"_Is he okay?" JJ asks as Nik bounds up the stairs. The hesitance in her voice is quite prominent but I'm glad she cares enough to ask._

"_I think he's not the greatest right now but he'll be okay. The whole no power issue and what happened today pushed his buttons so he just needs some time to get over it." I give her a smile as I take the darts from her hand before carefully walking over to the counter and laying them down. "I don't think we'll be able to use these until the lights on and I don't think that will be anytime soon." I chuckle slightly._

"_Okay, that's good then. Not about the power," Jess pauses for a moment to let a small giggle slip out. "I mean about Nik being okay."_

_I lean back against the counter, attempting to be nonchalant regarding what I'm about to ask. "Why'd you ask anyways?"_

_In the dark I barely can see the outline of JJ's petite figure approach me. She doesn't speak until she's barely two inches in front of me. "I asked because I care about you," she pauses obviously out of nervousness, "and you care about Nik. Plus he seems like a really great guy, besides for the whole tackling thing." She chuckles; I can feel her warm slightly sweet breath on my face causing my heart to feel as if it has skipped a beat or two._

_My resistance has become futile as her breathtaking blue eyes become visible in the dark. I reach out, placing my hand gently on her cheek. JJ's eyes now look directly in to mine and I can see that my hesitance it without reason. I can tell that she isn't about to deny my action and that she is simply waiting for me to make the first move. Almost painstakingly slow, I edge myself off the counter._

_I give in to the fear, taking the plunge, as I place my lips against hers. Instantaneously I get my reward as I taste her lips when she begins to kiss me back. After what feels like forever in my mind I feel JJ's hand on the small of my back as we gradually pull away from each other._

"_So what was I saying?" are the only words in my head I can use to form a sentence. As soon as they're out of my mouth I feel like a moron._

_JJ immediately begins to giggle, "I believe we were talking about Nik." She giggles once again._

"_Oh yeah, that." I chuckle still slightly breathless and surprised that she hasn't removed her slight hold on me. _

"_But I'm going to go off topic here and say that I really enjoyed," She doesn't finish her sentence before placing her lips against mine; I can feel her smile into the kiss almost immediately. She slowly pulls away with a small giggle. "That." _


	15. Epilogue

Hey guys this will be the last chapter in the form of an epilogue. I'm really sad that this story is over but I'm very thankful for the ride. Thank you all for your amazing reviews. This chapter is written from Santana's, _Lily's, _and **Brittany's** point of view. There are numerous flashbacks in this chapter so I hope you guys don't get confused at any point; dates will be written in for convenience. I hope you guys enjoy! **Thank you for all your support!**

Epilogue. Love Me Tender  
"Love me tender, love me true, all my dreams fulfilled.  
For my darlin' I love you, and I always will."  
- Love Me Tender, Elvis Presley

_January 1st 2042_

As a teenager I never would've believed that today could have or would even exit. I never let myself dream that this could be possible until it was almost too late to ever achieve it; but thank god for Brittany. Looking at myself in the mirror today I feel like that scared little girl who I once was, but today I had a much different reason to be scared. Today is the day I renew the most important commitment I have ever made.

Today the fear I feel is not out of anger or cowardice; it is out of love. I fear that my children, and the rest of the world, will not be as lucky as I have been to experience love like I have with my incredible, breathtakingly beautiful wife. I want my children to see, understand, and experience what it is like to love someone so unconditionally. Today I know that this fear will be put to rest; having our children witness what I have dreamt of since the day I fell in love with the one and only Brittany S. Pierce will blow out the flicker of fear in my heart.

"Mami?" The sound of my eldest daughter's voice causes me to turn away from my reflection.

"Yes, Lilypad?" I answer, carefully wiping the slight tears away from my eyes.

"You look nervous." Lily's voice is slightly hesitant but still bears her usual confidence.

"I was nervous, but I'm okay." I answer honestly.

"What do you have to be nervous about? I strongly doubt Mom is about to leave you at the alter Mami." Her slightly impatient tone causes me to laugh.

"I know that querida, but today is an important day and important things make me nervous. But I'm okay because I know that in a couple minutes I get to see your Mom and everything will be perfect."

"Okay, just as along as you don't get cold feet like you had the first time. Aunt Quinn said you were a nightmare. She swears that even though you guys were only twenty two you gave her grey hairs." Lily chuckles, clearly he's imagining one particular incident out of the many that occurred that fateful day at the Central Park Boathouse.

* * *

_November 31st 2016_

"Quinn, I can't do this. I just can't!" I practically burst the poor girl's eardrum I'm yelling so loud.

"Santana, you can do this. This is what you've wanted for as long as I've known you, even if you never said so." Surprisingly enough, Quinn is managing to stay calm.

"Why in hell did I ever agree to marry Brittany? Why in God's name would she ever even want to marry me I the first place?" I rub the side of my face so hard a blush forms on my face; definitely not an easy feat given my skin tone. "I am absolutely horrible. I spend more time pissing people off than actually having conversations with them. I have no sense of common courtesy whatsoever. I spend half my time with my nose buried in freaking text books than I do talking to or even seeing her for Christ's sake. I,"

"Santana!" Quinn raises her voice to a decibel and tone I've never heard from her in a very long time. "Santana Lopez, you better put that scrawny ass of yours in that chair so I can do your makeup or there will be hell to pay."

"How can you even say that? How can you let me marry her, a fucking angel when I'm a complete monster? Have you been listening to a single word I've been saying?" I snap back.

"Have you?" Quinn makes her old 'Fabitch' face at me, clearly trying to make a point. "Santana, you are not that person anymore, you and I both know it, and the only reason you bury yourself in your studies is because you want to provide for Brittany. You work your ass off because you love that girl more than anything or anyone in this world and you want her to have the best."

"Which is exactly why I can't do this to her. I'm not the best thing for her and that's why I'm leaving." I turn my back to her, quickly gathering my bag and begin to head to the door.

"Like hell you are." I hear her say under her breath. Seconds later my body hits the floor as Quinn tackles me to the floor. "We both know that Brittany is not anything close to stupid and is capable of deciding what is best for her. And we both know that if you weren't it we wouldn't be here right now." She says into my ear before hauling herself up off the floor.

"I see your point." I half groan as I pick myself up off the floor.

"So what's it going to be Lopez? Break the heart of the only person you've every really loved or suck it up, grow some lady balls and go and get what you've always wanted?" She's got this look in her eye that tells me I already know what the right choice is.

I chuck my bad on the desk before taking a seat at the vanity. "So you gonna start my makeup or what? I can't help but laugh at her response.

"I said to grow some balls, not act like you're the next in line to the throne of England for Christ's sake."

* * *

_January 1st 2042_

"Definitely no cold feet this time." I give my daughter a smile.

"That is definitely a good thing cause I really don't feel like tackling my own mother and ruining her dress." She winks.

She was clearly right, this was too good a dress for those types of shenanigans. Rather than wearing something traditional I had chosen a more elegant, yet shorter, version of my senior prom dress while Brittany had decided on a navy, knee length dress that made her eyes stand out even more then they always did.

"Uh, Ma? Can I ask you something?" The humorous time has disappeared from Lily's voice, causing curiosity to rile up inside me.

"Sure thing, sweet cheeks. Ask away." I give her another smile.

"Umm, how do I even ask this?" I notice her beginning to fiddle with her left earning, a habit she picked up from Brittany, and I immediately know we're about to have a serious conversation.

"Lilypad, you can ask me or your Mom anything. Even if, no, especially if you feel even the little bit uncomfortable asking."

I expect a slightly sarcastic or annoyed response to my statement but she just comes right on out with it. "How did you know you were in love with Mom?"

That was also not what I expected but it didn't surprise me too much. Ever since that night Brittany and I hid out in our room watching movies while Lily and JJ had dinner two months ago, the two girls were practically inseparable.

"Well querida, I've always known that I loved your Mom, as strange as that sounds. Ever since we met that day in the first grade I know she was somebody that I loved."

"Mami that's not what I'm asking." I can clearly see the concern in my daughter's eyes. "I asked when you knew that you were **in** love with her."

"Oh," is all I can say at first. My relationship with Brittany was never simple, never cut and dry. That may have been the case but I could honestly say that I could pinpoint the exact moment I fell in love with her.

"So?" Lily gives me a look that says 'Ma spit it out already'.

"We've told you guys before that the way your Mom and I came to be and how it wasn't the best idea to follow in our footsteps when it comes to beginning a relationship with someone, right?" Brittany and I had sat the kids down and told them our story when we felt they were old enough. We wanted our children to treat the people they cared about with respect and for them to learn from our, well mainly my, mistakes.

"Yes, you guys were kind of like friends with benefits, right?" Lily gives a slightly sad smile with her question.

"Right. And you remember the duets competition we told you about and how your mom wanted us to sing a Melissa Ethridge song together?" Lily simply nods, urging me to continue. "It was the week after that happened. I remember how pissed I was at myself because almost every time your mom saw me she had a frown on her face. I was so angry at myself that I had made her upset. But that changed one day when we were at your Grandpa and Grandma's house after school. They were gone out and your Aunt Ashley was gone with some friends on a play date. I had brought over your mom's favourite ice cream and a season of Sweet Valley High to try and get her to smile again. Soon enough the ice cream was finished, the DVDs forgotten and we had made our way to your mom's bedroom. Before she managed to pull off my Cheerio's uniform top I said I was sorry. And back then I never said sorry to anyone. It was the first time I really said I was sorry and actually meant it in my life.

"You knew because you said you were sorry?" Lily is quick to cut me off; her eyebrows rise in a typically 'teenage Santana' fashion.

"No, I'm not finish the story yet." Lily nods once again, signalling me to continue. "I said I was sorry and your mom looks at me and says 'I know. You didn't have to say it because you're here. You wouldn't be if you weren't."

I stop to sigh knowing what was coming next.

"Your mom had this look on her face that just made all the broken pieces in my heart and in my head all fit together perfectly. It was like she knew everything that made me 'me' and didn't care about my flaw or mistakes. She was completely content with who I was and it just made sense. I knew that I wanted to see that look on her face forever and that I wanted to be the person that made her that happy. I remember how she brought her hand up to my face. She slowly ran her thumb over my cheekbone like she was trying to stop me from thinking so hard, like she knew exactly how I felt. She never said anything, she just wrapped her arms around my waist and kissed me until she ran out of air like it was her last moment on earth. When she pulled away Lily, I swear it was like seeing an angel or looking at the sun for the very first time. I never wanted to tear my eyes away I never wanted to see something so badly in my life. I may have been too scared to admit it then but I've been in love with your mom ever since that day and I know I'll never stop."

"That's a good story." I'm shaken out of my reminiscent haze by the sound my wife's voice at the door.

"Britt! You're not supposed to be in here!" I half-yell, half-laugh at her as she walks further into the room.

"It's not like we're getting married for the first time, San. There's no way it could be bad luck to see my stunning wife before the ceremony." She giggles before placing a kiss to my temple.

"Speaking of the ceremony, I think it's about time we got out there. Don't want to keep our guests waiting." I chuckle, fully knowing that due to my many freak outs because of cold feet had made the ceremony start a half an hour late at our original wedding.

"No, we wouldn't want to that that again, would we dear?" Brittany replies, getting a laugh out of Lily.

"Everything all set?" I ask.

"Yes, dear. There hasn't been a hitch." Brittany takes my hand and begins to lead me out of my dressing room.

"Mami?" I slowly turn around to find Lily with a slight blush on her face and her eyes glazed over with tears.

"Yes, querida?" I can tell that she knows what feeling I had been talking about.

"Thank you." She gives me a smile that reminds of so much of Brittany's my heart flutters at the sight of it.

"Anytime, Lilypad." I leave the room with my fingers intertwined with Brittany's, feeling as if I've finally made it over the edge of my life long fears, leaving behind the reflection of the scared little girl I once was.

* * *

_I can't help but grin like an idiot as I watch my parents dancing away out on the dance floor. They looked so happy, wide smiles plastered across both my mother's faces. Mami had come over a minutes ago stealing Mom away from a conversation she was having with Grandma, claiming 'I wants ta get ma dance on'. _

_Mom and Grandma couldn't contain their laughter as Mami took Mom's hand and pulled her out onto the dance floor. 'Some thing's never change, sweetpea.' My grandma had said before she started off towards the dessert table where Grandpa was attempting to be sneaky in swiping yet another plate of strawberry cheesecake. _

"_Looks like their enjoying themselves." A pleasantly familiar voice causes me to tear my eyes away from my parents._

_My eyes instantly meet ice blue and the smile on my face grows wider. "Of course they are." I chuckle, "Mami's been dying for an opportunity to get Mom on the dance floor. She says every time she sees Mom dance or gets to dance with her it's like she's eighteen years old again."_

"_It's crazy that they've been together for so long. They definitely are lucky."_

"_It's not all luck but I'm sure the fates definitely got something right with them." At my words I can't help but slip my fingers between JJ's._

"_Well what would you think the fates would decide if I asked you to dance?" JJ immediately pulls me gently to her, wrapping her arm loosely around my waist._

"_Well I think they'd be okay with it." I give her a small grin. "I'm sure their curious if you got your father's awesome dancing skills, cause I know I am." I have to bring up her father because he may be in a wheel chair but I've got to say he's got skills._

"_Of course, I did. Baseball isn't the only thing I'm good at." JJ lets out a small giggle before continuing. "So what do you say?" Her eyes once again meet mine and I can't say anything but yes._

* * *

I can't help but grin as I see Lily being lead out onto the dance floor by JJ.

"What are you smiling at?" Brittany whispers into the shell of my exposed ear.

"I think our first baby has fallen in love." Ever since Lily's reaction to my story I knew she was in love and I was so happy for her; it was scary to think that my first child was so grown up but I knew that she was truly happy.

"Oh really?" Brittany giggles as she carefully tightens her hold on me.

"Really." I place a quick kiss to her shoulder. "Who would've thought that two girls from Lima could have created all this?"

"I did." At her words I pull away to find her smiling softly at me. "I had faith in us when nobody else did. I always knew that someday we'd get here, even if we had a few bumps along the way."

My mind quickly goes back to a time when our children were just wonders in our imaginations.

* * *

_October 2023_

Tonight was a rough night; back to back late surgeries plus a consult on a neuro case. To say I was beating tired was an understatement. I was thankful that my apartment with Brittany was only across from the hospital, rather than having to take the twenty minute car ride like I used to when I was in medical school.

I quickly put my key in the lock and open the door, I only now notice the time because of the clock on the side table in the living room. The bright red numbers read 12:46 am. I can't help but curse to myself. Brittany was likely already asleep after her night dance class ended around two hours ago.

I shut the door and throw my keys on the counter before I become aware of noise coming from our bedroom. I quickly discard the files in my arms and head straight for the distraction.

As I stand in the doorway, I find the source of the noise. Brittany is twisting and turning in our bed. Instead of her usual light snore, I hear laboured breaths and small cries.

She looks like a young child having a nightmare for the first time. Terrified and lost in her thoughts; completely unaware that she isn't in reality. I focus on her face; you can visibly see the pain she's in without reading her face, her brow furrowed, her teeth clenched.

I can't help but hesitate. I feel like that fifteen year old girl who's seeing her best friend cry for the first time all over again. I don't know what to do; I've held Brittany all those nights she cried because of how people made her feel stupid and that she didn't deserve to be in a high school but now I don't know what to do. Crying is one thing, nightmares are another.

Screw it, I think to myself.

I kick off my shoes quickly and manage to put one knee on the bed before Brittany turns to face me and wakes with a start. Her eyes that quickly connected with mine are wide in fear, filled with tears threatening to fall. She swiftly drops her gaze and pulls her legs up so she can shield her face in her own lap.

"Britt." I try to grab her attention again as I climb further into the bed. Instead of words I receive a barely audible moan of pain. As I reach my destination I run my fingers through her hair. "Britt, look at me." No reply. "Brittany. Look. At. Me." I don't like using her full name but I know it's the only way I'll get anything from her now.

She removes her head from her lap and looks at me. Her breath-taking sky blye eyes say everything without her saying a word. I can see every emotion she feels; the pain, the doubt, the fear, everything.

"I'm here, I'm not going anywhere. You're going to have to tell me what's wrong." I say, trying to express something even though I know words aren't enough. I wipe away the hair stuck to her face with tears and sweat before taking her hand in my own. Her eyes never leave my face until now.

They dart to the answering machine on the bedside table for a moment then back to my face. I look at the answer machine more closely now and notice the red flashing light signalling there are messages in the inbox. I'm debating with myself, do I push the button or do I ask her what the message says. I look back at her and search her face for an answer. I can tell by the look on her face that she doesn't want to tell me, she wants me to hear it for myself.

I keep a strong hold on her hand with one hand and press the button with the other, preparing for anything. A somewhat familiar voice fills the room.

"Brittany, this is Dr. Hilary Wyatt calling. We've gotten your test results back and I'd like for you to call me back to discuss your options. My number is 565-2987, but if you get this message after office hours you can call me at 585-1926. Bye."

My stomach is now in knots and my head is swimming; I understand perfectly why she's this upset. "What did she say, honey?" I ask her try to be as patient as possible. But it's not enough; I'm getting no reply from her. "No matter what she said I'm still going to be here, Britt-Britt. You know that." Kiss her forehead to assure that I'm being completely honest with her.

Her lip trembles before she begins to speak, "I-I didn't. I couldn't bring myself to call her." The tears are now falling freely down her face. "I fell asleep after hearing it and I dreamt that the test results weren't good. That we weren't going to be able to start a family like we wanted. You heard her tone, Santana. Doctors use that tone all the time, it doesn't mean good news."

I knew that she was right. Normally that tone doesn't mean good news, but right now I need to be optimistic, not only for Brittany but for myself as well. Ever since we got engaged we've been discussing having children. Brittany insisted on being the first to carry one of our children, I decided to let her because given my job I would be on my feet for long hours and that definitely wouldn't be safe for the baby.

"We'll call her together tomorrow. And Britt, you don't know that it's going to be bad news, it still can be good news. Either way, I'll still be here and we'll try again. I'll get tested, we'll try everything."

I lie down in bed and wrap my arms around her. I can't help but stare at her, even with tears running down her face she's still beautiful. Yet no matter how long I look at her she still has that look that makes her like that scared little girl; the one who needs someone to hold her and tell her everything will be alright.

I give into the temptation that had been forgotten as I walked into the room and capture her lips with my own. I put everything into this kiss; everything I know that I'm unable to express with words. How much I adore her. How much I need her. Everything that will let her know everything will be alright.

As I finally pull away I give her a smile that I know makes her smile right along with me. I attempt to sit up to go put on my pyjamas so we can go to sleep but Brittany's grip on my hip stops me. I turn back to tell her that I'm going to be right back but her eyes stop me before I even open my mouth.

"Don't let me go." Her voice is so full love and tells me how much she needs me right now. I lay back down in bed and take her in my arms without complain, fully knowing that in a few moments I'll be asleep fully clothed and no matter how tired and exhausted I am I don't care how uncomfortable it will be later. She's all I need tonight.

* * *

_April 2025_

"I want to have another baby." Brittany's words take me out of the daydream I had been having. I lift my gaze from the coffee table to Brittany who is sitting reading a magazine next to me. She closes the booklet, tossing it on the table before turning her body towards me pull her feet up onto the couch.

I take a sip from coffee cup I had in my hands, unable to come up with a verbal response to my wife's statement. As I do I can't tear my eyes away from Brittany's, I can't help but hope I'll find sincere honesty there. And I do. There is no fear or doubt, there is only love.

"Santana," she says, placing her hand on my arm, bringing her face closer to mine. Her face is warm, content yet concerned smile on display.

"Are you sure?" I answer involuntarily; the words basically flow out of my mouth without any input conscious input from my brain.

"I." She pauses for a moment, "Why wouldn't I be?" Brittany's eyes change, the certainty of her words is still there but I can see emotion bordering on anger flickering beneath it.

Lily was now a little less than seven months old and was making fantastic process. Despite her early birth she was keeping up with those in daycare that were her age. She had sitting up on her own down pat and loved to grab at anything within arms reach.

"Santana, you asked me less than half a year ago if you would have been enough for me if we hadn't had Lil. And I told you that you would have been, because it was true. I was prepared to give up having a family because it wasn't what you wanted and because you thought it wasn't right for us. But now, ever since we had Lily I've never loved you more and we have never been happier. And I think that having another child could only make us happier."

I'm certain my surprise is easily detected on my face; I truly had thought that Lily would be it for us, especially after what Brittany had to go through after Lily's birth, dealing with both taking care of herself and Lily.

I don't get the chance to reply; we're interrupted by a cry from Lil's monitor sitting on the coffee table. She doesn't say anything; she simply looks at me as if to ask a question. We had been trying to get Lily to sooth herself to sleep; we had been trying this for the past two weeks but Brittany's resolve was slowly slipping. She hated to hear children crying, even more so when it was Lily. The look on Brittany's face, the pain and worry in her eyes was setting my emotions on fire. I nod, signalling that it was okay for her to check on her.

Brittany pulls her legs out from under her, pushing herself up off the couch. "We're not done with this conversation." She says surprisingly enough with a smile on her face. "I'll be right back." She places a kiss on my forehead before heading towards Lily's room.

The closer Brittany got to her room, the louder Lily's cries became. It was obvious she was becoming very impatient. "Hey baby girl." Brittany's voice is now coming from the monitor. Lily lets out a more content squeal in response. "What's wrong, boo?" I can't help but smile at Brittany's use of the nickname she came up with for our daughter. "Oh no wonder you were crying, come here."

I can't sit still here alone anymore; I push myself up off the couch and make my way to Lily's room. I stop at the doorframe of our daughter's room. I'm met with the sight of Brittany holding Lily in her arms putting cream on her face. "There you go, is that better baby?" Lily lets out a giggle before tugging on a piece of her hair.

"Hey, what did I say about pulling on Momma's hair? We don't to that remember." I say with a smirk as walk into the room. "What was the matter baby girl?" I say, wrapping my arm around Brittany's waist before blowing a raspberry on my daughter's arm.

"She scratched her face here," Brittany point out a scratch just below my daughter's left cheekbone, "and here." And then points out another one on her chin.

"It's a good thing you've got your Momma to take care of you, huh Lils?" I place a kiss on Brittany's temple. "It's time to go back to bed now sweetie, okay?"

Brittany places a kiss on Lily's forehead before slowly putting her back into her crib.

"Goodnight sweetie, I love you." She whispers, running her fingers through our daughter's hair before bringing herself back into my arms.

"Can you tell me why now?" I ask as I begin to lead her out the room. I bring her to the couch, she takes a seat in my lap and I wrap my arms around her waist.

"Why now when Lil's still so young?"

She takes a deep breath, taking my hand in her own before answering me. "Because I loved being a big sister but since there was a large age difference between us I always felt we would have gotten along so much better. I also think that Ashley missed having me around because I was older and was busy with grown up stuff. So I think the smaller the age difference if we were to have more children would be better. Plus if we wait too long then when Lily gets older what is going to think? That she was just practice and we just wanted to see if I messed her up or not? I don't"

"Brittany, I" I have to interrupt her because the pain in her voice is unbearable but she doesn't me finish my own sentence.

"Don't Brittany me. I don't want her to ever feel that way. I may not be exactly ecstatic about how she came to be because I wanted so badly for her to be biologically part of the both of us but that doesn't matter, all that matters is her. She's perfect Santana," She chuckles before wiping away the tears I had only now noticed flowing down her cheek, "she's all you. She's got your eyes and smile. When she gets old she's old her attitude is going to be just like yours, I can tell already. She's already picked up your devilish grin."

"Oh no, I don't think so! She's going to have her Momma's magic smile and is always going to be turning me to goo." I find myself taking advantage of the fact my wife is wearing a tank top, placing a kiss between her bare shoulder blades. "So much for being a badass, huh?"

I'm rewarded with the sound of Brittany's laughter, "You'll always be my badass." She turns slightly so that she's able to wrap her arms around my waist, laying her head on my shoulder.

"Thank you," I say, absentmindedly playing with the hem of her shirt "for being right and for being awesome."

Once again I'm delighted to hear the divine sound that is my wife's laughter, "I told you I was."

I only now realize that her tears have not ceased and are now proceeding to dampen my shirt. It was truly painful to see her cry, just as much as it was to see Lily do the same, it always tore at my heart and plagued my mind hours after it subsided. No matter how long ago it was, the sight of unhappy tears falling from Brittany's eyes always brought back the memory of the day I came out to my abuela; the day I realized that she was and would always be enough for me. It was that memory, no matter how painful and terrifying it was, that made my life worth living. It was that memory that made my purpose in life very clear; to protect and to treasure the woman I loved, making sure she would never have to experience the same pain I had.

"Would you consider it?" Her voice is quiet and childlike; as if she was a child asking if she was in trouble.

I open my mouth to answer but she quite frankly doesn't give me the slightest opportunity to, she just keeps on talking. "I want you to get the feeling I get every time I look at Lily. I know that you think that it's no different than the feeling you get, but it is San. Every time I look at her it's like, like I'm looking at you and seeing everything I love about you all over again. It's like falling in love with you all over again. If we had another child I know that I'll love them just as much as I love Lily, you know that, but I truly want you to feel what I feel every time I look at her. I just,"

"Okay." I say but surprisingly enough she continues to talk to me, causing a smile to creep slowly across my lips.

"Believe that you deserve to get to feel that way San. I'll do all the work again I promise, I'll put up with all the heartburn and no coffee all over again, wait." She stops midsentence realizing I had responded. She leans forward, turning her body so that she's looking me straight in the face. "What did you just say?"

"I said okay." I let my smile spread fully across my face, giving her the devilish grin I knew she loved.

"Okay?" The look on her face is one I will never forget; the hope in her eyes, the pure happiness in her smile, the look of pure adoration.

I simply nod in response, before I get the chance to say anything in response Brittany's lips collide with my own. I can't help but moan slightly at the unique taste of her lips mixed with the taste of her strawberry-kiwi lip balm. I carefully slip my hand up her shirt, gently running my fingers back and forth over the scar that was on her stomach from Lily's birth. Her skin automatically becomes covered in goose bumps at the feeling of my fingers on her skin. Soon after she pulls away giving me my favourite full out dimpled smile.

"You are so beautiful." She says slowly, accenting each word with a kiss on my jaw line working her way back up to my lips once again.

"Look who's talking" I say with a chuckle.

"I see your point" She lets out a giggle before shifting her weight slightly.

"And I definitely now see yours." I once again wrap my arms around her waist. "I want to have the chance of getting to look into your eyes no matter where you are when I look at them. I want to have the chance to feel the way you do about Lily with them. I want a little boy with your blonde curls and protective ways or a little girl with your magic smile and ability to always make me feel better no matter what. I want that so bad but I just didn't think it would ever happen."

At my own words my emotions begin to get the better of me, causing tears to roll down my cheek. Brittany turns around as if she could sense the tears. "Of course it would have, and it will. I promise."

"We're having another baby." I can't help but say it out loud; it makes it all the more real.

Brittany grins at me; the love in her eyes makes butterflies soar in my stomach just like they did the first time I ever truly saw her. "We're having another baby." She says, turning back around so she fits perfectly back in my arms. With that whatever doubt I had been feeling vanishes, leaving love and adoration behind. And that is all I need to send me straight into the land of sleep.

* * *

_ December 2025_

I can't help but pace back and forth the apartment as I wait for Santana to finish getting ready. We had been dancing around this for weeks, debating on whether to do this or not.

Before Lily was born we had agreed we'd rather not know. But surprisingly enough this time around we couldn't agree for the life of us.

Brittany was iron-clad on her decision that she didn't want to know for weeks. But that was quickly changed once she realized that since we found ourselves living a real home with a new born for the first time redecorating would be required for baby's new room. Where Lily was born prematurely we hadn't gotten the chance to paint Lily's room before she was born and strangely enough we had kept it the same color it had been when it was our bedroom; we had moved into Quinn's room soon after she had moved out in order for us to have an ensuite bathroom.

I surprisingly enough wanted to know as soon as possible. I wonder if it was the way Lily had been born that made this time around different. But I'd never know, seeing I wasn't present for Lily's birth and for the first few hours of her life I hadn't known she was alive, able to live outside the protection of Brittany's body. I remember hearing for the first time that I had a daughter; Brittany looking me straight in the eye and telling me. I can still remember the look in her eyes, the love was pouring out as she described our daughter.

The possibility of knowing now was too enticing to wait another three months when we could be certain right now. Knowing that I could know whether I was going to have a boy with a mop of golden hair running around the back yard following Lily all the while making airplane or dirt bike noises or a little girl who Lily would likely treat like her own personal doll.

My thoughts are pleasantly interrupted by the sound of Brittany's foot falls coming down the apartment's short hallway. "San?" She calls out, her voice showing her obvious annoyance with something or another.

"Yes dear?" I reply, turning on my heels as I stop pacing. Now face to face with my wife, I honestly can't help but laugh. Brittany is standing there, shoes untied and seeming much bigger than she was last night when I went to work. She had surprisingly _popped_ in the matter of less than twelve hours.

I had went to work to do an overtime six hour shift at nine and didn't arrive home until around quarter after four this morning because I had been pulled into surgery. I crawled into bed as soon as I had arrived home, Brittany was sound to the world in our bed when I went to sleep and I didn't see her again until now. She had been in the shower once I had woken up so I used the first floor bathroom in order for us to be on time for our appointment before running over to Rachel and Quinn's down the street with Lily, fully well knowing that Brittany had arranged for Rachel to babysit during our appointment.

I have been pacing back and forth ever since I came home.

"Please?" Is all she says, giving me a small puppy pout, obviously too embarrassed to ask what she needed.

"Of course, babe." I say with a sympathetic smile, I knew how much the fact that she couldn't do certain things by herself and that her hours at work being slowly cut back due to the pregnancy were really affecting her. She tried to hide it most of the time, but it was times like these when she took off the cheery mask everyone else saw I could see tell how much it got to her.

I walk over to her and kneel in front of her. After tying her shoelaces I couldn't help but pause for a moment, placing my hands on her belly. "Are you excited?" She asks; her tone audibly more calm and cheerful.

"Of course, aren't you?" I reply, looking up at her with a smile.

"I am, but that doesn't mean I'm not nervous." Brittany says, biting her lip like a nervous five year old.

I place a kiss on her belly before standing up, I then put my hands on her hips bring us close together as I possibly can before giving her a kiss on the forehead as well. "I know, honey, but you can't let the nerves be greater than the excitement. Everything is going to be okay, and even if it's not then we're going to deal with it together. Okay?"

She looks up at me through her lashes; I can see waves stirring in her ocean blue eyes.

"Come on, where's that magic smile I love, huh?" I ask, brushing her hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear; hoping it'll at least give me a hint of that smile.

As I had hoped, her cheeks begin to blush and a large dimpled smile begins to cross her face. "There's my girl." I place yet another kiss on her forehead. "You ready to go now?"

"I think so." She gives me a quick kiss on the lips before, surprisingly, beginning to lead me out the apartment door.

* * *

"Lopez?" An OB-GYN nurse calls out to us, letting us know that Quinn was finally ready to see us. We had been sitting in the waiting room for close to an hour, Brittany leaning back against my shoulder while I rubbed her arm; she was currently experiencing unwavering heartburn and nausea, I could tell all she wanted right now was to be home in bed.

I raise my hand letting the nurse know we had heard her. Slowly, I unwrap my arm from around my wife, getting up off of the bench myself before helping her onto her feet.

"You excited now?" I ask, hoping that this time there'll be no worry or fear in her eyes, only love and excitement.

As I look at her I'm surprised to see a genuine heart-warming smile on her face.

"Definitely." The pure joy she was feeling, despite her physical discomfort, was completely visible in her face.

"I'm so sorry this took so long!" Quinn says as she ushers us into an exam room, shutting the door behind her.

"Relax, Q." I say, helping Brittany sit up on the exam table. "Just as long as Peanut in there doesn't decide to shy away, then everything is fine." I chuckle, trying to keep Brittany as relaxed as she currently is.

"Seems like you've got a nickname for this one already, huh?" Quinn asks Brittany with a warm smile, obviously trying to help me achieve my goal.

"Yeah, we do." She gives her a small slightly nervous smile. "Santana came up with this one."

"Then likely it'll stick," Quinn laughs as pulls up my wife's file on her iPad. "Okay, let's get down to business then."

Brittany nods like a child intently listen to their parents, causing me to chuckle a little.

"We're sure about this right?" I ask her because I know how much she dislikes having to do things she doesn't really want to do.

"Not a doubt in my mind." She says, taking my hand in hers intertwining our fingers together as Quinn prepares for the ultrasound. I feel a slight squeeze of Brittany's hand as Quinn places the gel on her stomach and I can't help but gently squeeze back; it had become sort of a ritual of comfort between the two of us, if one of us did it then the other would do it back.

I can immediately feel tear prick in my eyes as one of my most favourite sounds in the world echoes through the room. I can feel Brittany's eyes on me before I see them; I turn my head to find her big clear blue eyes staring straight at me, tears forming in them to mirror my own.

"You two ready?" Quinn asks before she's about to begin.

I don't look at her because Brittany's eyes are telling me what she wants but that she's slightly too embarrassed to ask. So I ask for her, "Uh, Q can you just write it down and give it to Britt and we'll find out when were at home?"

"Not a problem." She says with yet another warm smile as she begins the ultrasound.

Within a few minutes Quinn passes her a slip of paper and we're out the door. "You want me tell you?" She asks as we enter the empty elevator, before I swiftly press the button for the ground floor as the door closes behind us.

"Yes, I do." I give her a wide grin; she clearly knows what she wants as she give me a smile just as wide. "I thought we'd uphold the tradition you know?" She lets out a childlike laugh that immediately warms my heart.

"Well," She says, pulling the slip of paper out of her pants pocket and begins to open it.

"Don't!" I quickly snatch the paper out of my hand before she gets a chance to see or read anything on the paper. She can't help but stare at me in confusion; her face isn't contorted in anger but is flush in embarrassment. "Not here baby. I don't want to find out in an elevator again. I just don't want it to happen here, I don't want the majority of our special moment to happen in a hospital, you know?"

She continues to look at me and the confusion falls from her face, replaced with understanding. She can understand exactly what I mean because scanning back over a lot important memories in or relationship; the first time I called her my girlfriend to someone I hadn't known my entire life, our first Valentine's Day as a married couple, and the list could have gone on and on.

"Okay." She says, accenting the word with a kiss on my forehead before slowly taking the piece of paper gripped in my hands and placing it back in her pocket. "Then where would you like to go then?"

* * *

"How about now?" I ask hoping that she'd find this as great as a spot as I had.

"Here is perfect." Brittany takes my hand as she sits down on the bench next to me, leaning her head back against my shoulder.

"Good." I lean forward, slightly placing a kiss to her temple. I had taken her to the bench where we frequently ate our lunch together during the first year of university. "So here we go."

She puts her hand into her pants pocket and pulls out the small slip of paper once again. She opens the piece of paper and I can't help but grin from ear to ear in anticipation.

"So what are we having, dear?" I ask.

"Looks like there are going to be a lot of baseball, dinkies and dirt bikes in our future, baby." She says, placing a kiss on my temple, still smiling.

"Really?"

Brittany leans forward, turning her upper body so that we're face to face in response. A huge smile is spread across her face, dimples out in full force.

"Really."

I can't help but think of a little toddler looking just like a male version of Brittany as a child running around chasing an older version of Lily around the back yard, Lily's hair in a French braid and our newest addition having a mop of silky blonde hair.

"I'm excited." She whispers, a smile still on her lips.

"Me too, I'm excited to see Lily teach him things that we will teach her. I'm excited to see him go to Lily with things he's unable to come to us about because he knows that her sister will always be there for him. I'm excited to see them playing in the backyard, I'm excited for everything."

"We are going to have awesome kids, aren't we?" Brittany whispers, she is now only a breath's distance away.

I can't help but now capture her lips with my own; the temptation of the closeness between us has become unbearable. The taste of her strawberry kiwi lip gloss and something that is distinctly Brittany never fails to drive me crazy, sending shivers down my spine and electric shocks through by body.

As I force myself to pull away, I whisper my response against her lips. "The best."

"I love you, San." Brittany places her hand on my cheek, brushing her thumb against my cheekbone.

"I love you too."

* * *

_January 1st 2042_

"**I still do you know." I say as Santana's eyes drift back towards mine after being in a reminiscent haze.**

"**What?" She asks if she's been shaken suddenly awake.**

"**I still believe in us, and I always will San. I still get excited thinking about all the things we've yet to experience together like seeing our children graduate high school and all the amazing things we get to re-experience all the time like something as simple as letting loose at the cabin. I've known for a long time that this was a forever thing, longer than I've known how to make mac and cheese, longer than I've known how to drive a stick."**

**I can't help but smile as Santana places another kiss on my shoulder. **

"**I might not have known it for as long but I've wanted for as long, Britt. But we know that you're always more ahead of the game than I am." She lets out a small chuckle, causing the smile on my face to widen.**

"**I've known ever since that night after you told your abuela," I can feel Santana tense a little bit in my arms, "you were so brave San. I knew you loved me but that night was the first time I truly realized how much, how much I loved you and how I always would." **

**My mind instantly travels back to that fateful night and many others.**

* * *

_November 2011_

**As I open my eyes to take in an unusually dreary Lima morning the memories of last night's demolition come back to me in an instant. Santana's grandmother, the yelling, the crying; all of it.**

**I wipe the sleepiness out of my eyes before I attempt to sit up and get up out of the bed. My attempt is futile as I realize Santana's arm is firmly wrapped around my waist as if she was holding on for dear life. After last night I understood. With anyone else I would've carefully pried myself from their hold and get up out of the bed, but with her, with her it was different; she was the exception to the rule.**

**I inch myself back down further into the bed. Once I'm comfortable I hesitantly brush her hair out of her face and my breath gets taken away. My gasp is barely audible but causes Santana to stir none the less. I hold my breath, hoping I haven't woken her.**

**Her face twists in annoyance in her sleep as she tightens he hold on me slightly, pulling me closer to her. As her face goes back to its original start I let out the breath I've been holding.**

**As take breath I can't help but smile profusely. Santana was pretty, that I knew, but this wasn't something I was exactly expecting. After wiping away her tears and getting her calm and cleaned up I hadn't taken the time to take in her full appearance. And now I had all the time in the world.**

**Santana's natural appearance was more beautiful than I could remember. She was breathtaking, amazing, stunning, angelic, beautiful; I could go on all day. From her naturally luscious lips to her lengthily lashes that framed her now closed brown eyes that were absolutely captivating.**

**Memories of last night begin to fill my mind once again at the thought of her captivating eyes.**

* * *

_**"Es mi vida." Santana's voice is barely above a whisper as I wet a facecloth for her. **_

_**I know very, very limited Spanish but I was able to understand what she was saying, with no trouble. "I know, it is your life Santana, but-" I don't get to say much more as she begins to ramble. **_

_**"It's my life, and I want to live it the way I want. I'm happy, why doesn't she see that? She's my grandmother. She's supposed to want me to be happy, right? You make me happy." She pauses as I turn off the water.**_

_**I quickly ring out the facecloth before turning around to face her. As her beautiful tear rimmed brown eyes meet mine I can't help but get shivers. Even now, she manages to send shivers down my spine.**_

_**"I'm happier with you than I've ever been in my entire life." Santana manages to give me smile as she walks over to me. "Why don't grandparents mind their own business if you don't want to divulge them with details?" She pauses for a brief moment, "Because they're to darn arrogant, they think your business is their business."**_

_**I can't help but laugh. She's got the punch line wrong but she still manages to make me laugh. "I believe the correct punch line is 'No mind. No business.'"**_

_**Santana laughs as if nothing wrong, harder than I've seen her laugh in a while. "Well, I try."**_

_**"And manage to succeed anyhow." I say with a wide smile before beginning to wipe away the stray tears from her face.**_

_**She may have just said she's happier than she's ever been but at the mention of her success another wave hits her; one full of sorrow, sadness and pain. Her laughing has stopped and she flinches. Tears begin to fill her big brown eyes once again. Santana attempts to blink back the tears and fakes a smile but it last for only a moment. **_

_**"Hey it's okay." I say quickly whilst putting the facecloth down on the end of the counter. To my surprise, and unexpected pleasure, she lifts me up so that I am sitting on the edge of the counter and I tower over her even more than if I had been standing. She was now standing between my knees with her arms wrapping loosely around my waist.**_

_**I had learnt all too much about the immense walls guarding Santana Lopez's heart. For the past few weeks I've been trying to scale them, trying to break them from the outside. I hadn't had much luck, but now something I didn't think was going to happen did. **_

_**Santana was letting her walls come down, creating a hole, a big gaping hole just for me. As I wrap my arms around her I can't help but smile slightly at this realization.**_

_**"This, us," My hidden smile automatically widens as she refers to herself and me as 'us', "is okay, everything else, not so much." She says with a sniffle before tightening her grip on my frame, pulling me even closer. **_

_**We stay like this for a moment before I hear Santana take a deep breath. "We are okay right?" I can hear the hesitance and vulnerability in her voice.**_

_**I can't help but chuckle at her absurd thought that we weren't okay. "Perfect." I lean forward slightly, placing a kiss atop Santana's head of raven curls. "We're definitely more, a lot more in my opinion, than just okay."**_

_**It was in this moment I felt like I understood her; the fear, the uncertainty. But I also understood the bravery, the confidence that she wore in front of every one, I understood everything I knew about her. **_

_**"You get it don't you?" I can hear some relief present in Santana's voice as she speaks once again.**_

_**"I get it."**_

* * *

**I cuddle up with Santana tentatively and closely as possible. Wrapping my arm around her sleeping frame, I place a kiss on the soft skin of Santana's forehead.**

**"Don't worry, San, I got you."**

* * *

August 2025

**I pace back and forth the apartment living room, just as I have done for the past hour since I've gotten home; Lily's eyes following me across the room from her bouncy chair sitting on the floor. "I know, boo. Momma did something really spontaneous. I know, I know, Mami's going to be mad."**

**"What am I going to be mad about?" Santana walks through the front as my mouth comes to a close. My eyes are immediately drawn to her. One of her eyebrows is quirked in typical Santana fashion as she shuts the door with her foot.**

**"San, you're home early." I'm certain that the shock and fear is quite clear in my voice and on my face.**

**Her face completely changes at the sight of what I've done. "Brittany Susan Lopez, what the hell were you thinking?" Her voice is just loud enough to be considered a yell, obviously trying not to upset Lily.**

**"I know, I know, I just couldn't help myself. And you should have seen the look on Lily's face. She got to excited, she kept smiling and laughing. It was one of the most adorable things I've ever seen." I reply, because it all honesty every word I said was true.**

* * *

**"_Let's get going, boo. We've got to go home and make dinner for Mami." I say to Lily who was sitting in the cart. Walking out of the grocery store a happy squeal for my daughter catches my attention causing me to look around._**

**"_Doggie!" Lily points to the bulletin board in the entrance to the store; she starts giggle and can't stop smiling._**

_**I turn my head to find Lily was in fact correct in her outburst. "Yes, Lily that is a doggie. Good job, sweetie." I bend down and place a kiss on her forehead.**_

**"_Doggie! Doggie!" Lily squeals once again, she begins squirming in the cart trying to get out._**

**"_Okay, sweetie. I'll let you out." I say picking her up out of the cart. She instantly tries to get out of my arms, trying to grab at the picture of the dog on the bulletin board. _**

**_I move closer to the board so that she can touch the photo; as I do I take the time to read the advertisement. __Home needed! Three year old male Irish Setter named Gandalf, also responds to Alfie. House trained, great with kids and other dogs. Need for home, moving._ _I can tell instantly that this dog would fit perfect with our family._**

**"_You want the doggie, Lily? Do you?" I ask excited fully well knowing that she'd say yes._**

**"_Momma, yea!" She says excitedly._**

**"_Okay, boo." I say taking one of the numbers from the poster. I kiss her forehead once again before putting her back in the cart. "Let's go get ourselves a doggie."_**

* * *

**Santana picks up Lily out of her bouncy chair, putting her on her hip. "I know she's cute, she's our daughter, but how do you expect us to be able to take care of a dog right now. You're three months pregnant, Lily isn't even a year old and we're both working full time and I'm working overtime in order to build up extra holiday time so that I can take some time off to with you guys when the baby comes. How do you expect us to able to do this?"**

**"I guess I never thought that through entirely but I know we can do it. It's a dog, Santana. You and I both know that we're going to get a house really soon so we will have room. You haven't seen him with Lily, he's great. It's so adorable. And not having the time, we will make time or find time, we always do. You know that."**

**"Brittany," I can immediately feel worrying in her tone. "I don't know about this. I"**

**I cut her off because I can exactly what she's going to say. "I know, San but remember the big picture. We can do this, I know we can, and we will. You want to do this, I know you're scared but we wanted this remember. We wanted kids, dogs, and cats. So we can do this."**

**I can see her gaze shift from my face to Alfie who was sitting on the rug next to the couch, only about four feet away from Lily's bouncy chair. "He really is good with Lily?" I can see the worry in her eyes starting to dissipate but the nerves are still there.**

**"I promise, just watch okay?" I give my wife her favourite dimpled smile, taking Lily into my arms. I put her back into her bouncy seat before calling out to Alfie. "Alfie, come here boy." I pat my hand next to Lily's bouncy chair.**

**Alfie carefully gets up off of the rug, walking over to me and Lily. "Give Lily kisses, Alfie. Kisses." I say knowing that once Santana sees this she'll be a goner.**

**Alfie quickly comes very close to the two of us, sitting down between Lily and me. She slowly leans over and licks the side of Lily's face making her laugh happily. "Good boy, Gandalf, good boy." I place a kiss on the top of his head, rubbing his back.**

**I look up at Santana to gauge her reaction. The happiness in her eyes is undeniable. "I don't know about this, Brittany, we'll see." She gives me a very small smile before heading towards our bedroom.**

**No matter how much I wanted to follow her I knew better; I know from past experience to just let her go. I pick Lily up from her bouncy chair, pulling her into my arms. "Let's go have a sat down on the couch, boo. I can see Mami's having a difficult time on this one, do you agree?"**

**I make Lily's little hand give me a tiny thumbs up in agreement. "I'm glad you think so." I say before giving her a kisses all over her face, making her giggle once again.**

**"How can you do that?" Santana says as she walks back into the room, wrinkling her nose.**

**"Do what?" I reply; slightly confused at what she taking about.**

**"Kiss her like that after the dog just drooled all over her." I can see the slight disgust on her face.**

**I can't help but roll my eyes; I thought that I was going to be the most overprotective parent in the history of the universe but no, that was turning out to be Santana's title. "Okay, for one, Alfie didn't drool all over her he gave her a kiss, and for two, any germs that would hurt Lily can't come from Alfie because he had all of his shots against human diseases and anything else that would hurt the dog would be species specific and therefore wouldn't hurt Lily. See, not so scary any more is it?"**

**"Well, when you put it that way, no, it's not." She says as she enters the kitchen, turning on the kettle.**

**"So, in that case can we keep him?" I ask, hoping she'll just say yes.**

**"Brittany, stop." Her voice is now firm and I can feel the anger seeping out of her mouth. "You keep acting like a child about this. It needs to stop, please. I said we'll see, which means we'll see how it goes over the next couple of days, okay?" The tone of her voice is now less angry but her annoyance is still present.**

**"Okay." I manage to squeak out, pulling Lily to closer to me, before beginning to turner into a blubbering mess; my hormones obviously getting the better of me. Tears begin to form in my eyes, my nose begins to run, and I start to shake; sobbing.**

**"Brittany?" Santana calls out to me, her back obviously still towards me by the tone of her voice. I hear can barely hear the sound of the kettle boiling over my crying. Lily puts her hand on my cheek and lets out a loud cry, trying to catch Santana's attention.**

**"Britt-Britt?" She says, turning around, before letting out a gasp. "Hey, hey it's okay." Santana rushes over, quickly wrapping her arms around me and Lily.**

**I bury my head into Santana's curls; I want nothing more than to fast-forward this moment and go to a place in time where it's just me, her, our children, and Alfie. I want to fast-forward the fear and worry.**

**"I'm sorry." I whisper into the crook of her neck, "I-I should have asked." I'm certain she can feel my hot tears running down the soft skin of her chest.**

**"It's okay, just relax, it's okay." She whispers into my ear, pulling me closer; I can feel her warm breath on my cheek. I try to speak again but she shushes me, "This is your family too, you get to start parts of our life together without me too, like when I picked our first apartment. It's okay, everything is okay."**

**I think about what she's said; it's strange the way she's explained it but it makes sense to me, to someone else who doesn't know Santana the way I do may say she sounds crazy but to me it makes sense.**

**"Okay." It is the only word I can think to say. I simply want to bask the awe that is Santana.**

**"I promise I'll seriously consider the dog, but just give me a day or two okay?" She tilts her head so that she is able to give me a kiss on the cheek.**

**I once again say okay before slowly pulling slightly away from her.**

**"Let's get to bed. I think we've both had a really long day." She brushes my hair out of my face before placing a kiss on the top of Lily's head of curls.**

**"I think that's a great idea." I slowly untangle myself from Santana's arms.**

* * *

**I am awaked from my usual deep sleep by the sound of Lily's cries coming from the baby monitor on the bedside table on my side of the bed; it was my turn to be on Lily duty tonight.**

**Before I even the get chance to get out of bed, I watch Alfie jump from his spot at the foot of our bed next to my feet and sprint surprisingly quietly out of our room. After pulling myself out of bed and arriving at my daughter's room I can't help but laugh.**

**Alfie is sitting right in front of Lily's crib, her nose poked as far as she can get it between the rungs of the crib, while Lily laughs as she pats him on the nose.**

"**Hey Lils, everything okay now?" I ask bending over her crib, smoothing down her hair. Lily keeps on laughing, so I take that as a yes. I lean back over the crib, looking down at Alfie before scratching behind him ears. "Good boy, Alfie. Momma's going to go back to bed now, Lilypad."**

**I receive no protests from Lily so I slowly turn to my way out of the room but am met with Santana in the doorway. **

**She wrapped her arms around me, holding me as close to me as possible. "He can stay."**

"**Really?" I mumble into her hair, though my surprise is easily detectable in my voice. **

"**Really." She whisper into my ear before placing a kiss on my forehead. **

"**Thank you." I place a kiss on her neck. **

"**You're welcome, baby." They are the last words spoken as we make our way back to our bedroom to soon fall asleep embraced in each other's arms. **

* * *

January 1st 2042

_As JJ leads me out onto the dance floor the previous song comes to a close, being replaced by Norah Jones' rendition of 'Love Me Tender'._

"_Looks like the fates got something right for us too, huh?" She says with a shake of her deep red curls._

_I don't answer her before wrapping my arms around her waist. JJ wraps arms around my neck, quick to rest her head against my shoulder. As the first chorus begins I can't help but close my eyes and sing softly to the music. It wasn't something I did very often but singing in this moment with JJ in my arms, it just felt right._

_As the last verse begins I open my eyes for the first time. I find my Mami looking at me over my Mom's shoulder; the look on her face is full of pride. The amount of pride there is more than the time I placed first in the spelling bee in the fifth grade, more than when I become the youngest captain of the debate team in the history of my high school, more than I've ever seen. As she realizes she's been caught she gives me a wide knowing grin before turning her attention back to Mom before I get the chance to return the smile._

_Before I know it the word are tumbling out of my mouth beyond my conscious control. "Are we girlfriends?"_

_I had never asked a girl that before; with Casey and the very few other girls I had been with the relationship just escalated to that point and I had just assumed we had been. But with her this was different; this was something I wanted to do right._

_I instantly feel JJ smile into my shoulder. "Of course we are." She mumbles just loud enough for me to hear._

"_Good." I say before leaning in to place a kiss on her exposed temple._

"_Why do you ask?" Her voice is filled with a childlike curiosity causing me to grin._

"_Because," I can't help but place a quick but soft kiss on her lips for fully answering. "I love you."_

_The sweetest smile I've ever seen forms on JJ's face. "I know." I can't help but laugh as she recreates the infamous dialogue between Princess Leia and Han Solo._

"_Even so I plan on telling you very often." I smirk at her, earning myself a kiss on the cheek._

"_A girl could get used to that." She giggles._

_The song comes to a close being replaced by an upbeat song back from when my mothers were in high school, changing the mood much faster than I would have liked. "What do you say we get out of here?"_

"_I think the odds of our parents not noticing we've left are very slim, Lily."_

"_Never tell me the odds." I can't help but quote Han Solo, the set up was too easy._

"_You're a dork you know that?"_

"_And you like it. But I do believe it was you who was the one that insisted we have a Doctor Who marathon on our last date, were you not?" I can't help but give her a smirk._

_JJ shakes her head with a slight chuckle. "I love you, Lily."_

_I pull her close, placing a kiss on the soft skin of her forehead. "I know."_

* * *

**I can't help but smile widely as I see Lily singing along to the song while dancing with JJ. It's scary to think that our first child is old enough to clearly be in love in whole sense of the word. It's terrifying but it's absolutely incredible to be able to see this.**

"**Do you think she'll be as happy as we are?" Santana asks as I look away from our eldest daughter.**

"**She already is, sweetheart." I assure her, placing a kiss to her temple.**

"**How do you that?" She looks up at me with a look curiosity on her face.**

"**Because, San. She's just like her Mami, singing to the girl she loves just because she feels like it." I smile softly before placing a kiss to her raspberry flavoured glossed lips.**

"**I love you, Britt-Britt. You are the best thing that ever happened to me, I don't know what I'd ever do without you." She says with a sigh; laying her head against my shoulder, I can instantly feel her breath on my crook of my neck.**

"**You're the strongest, bravest person I know sweetheart. You'd make it."**

"**I'm so happy I don't have to make it without you because life with you is **so** much better." **

"**I love you, Santana. Thank you for fulfilling my dreams and making my life better than I could have ever imagined."**

"**You're welcome sweetheart. I'll love you forever, Brittany Susan Lopez."**

**I wrap my arms tighter around the love of my life, placing a kiss to the top of her raven curls. If life didn't get any better than this, I knew I'd be more than happy for this ret of my life.**

"**Forever and always." **


End file.
